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nelesia

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nelesia
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  • Number of visits : 116
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Today, I returned home to find the key to my mailbox missing. I called the post office and was informed that a new key will cost me $15. I have no money, and my paycheck is in the mailbox. FML

#15636997
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27135) - you deserved it (3704)

On 04/04/2011 at 3:47pm - money - by DaisyMay (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went up to a girl at a bus stop and started chatting her up. Her response? "Am I being robbed?" FML

#15631458
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25940) - you deserved it (6160)

On 04/04/2011 at 2:15am - misc - by Anonymous - Mozambique (Maputo)

Today, I was at a grocery store with my 3 year old son. As I was picking a cereal out, an older man comes over and says, "You should have used condoms. What an ugly boy." FML

#15628215
278 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56858) - you deserved it (5652)

On 04/03/2011 at 10:47pm - kids - by ravenskater -

Today, I found out that my dog is so lazy, she doesn't even get out of my bed in the morning to poop. FML

#15591569
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26683) - you deserved it (5073)

On 04/01/2011 at 5:12pm - animals - by poopybed - United States (Illinois)

Today, I caught my boyfriend secretly using my hair straightener while I was in the other room. Too embarrassed to talk to him about it, I left and came back later, only to discover him slipping on a pair of my panties. FML

#15588696
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44928) - you deserved it (7362)

On 04/01/2011 at 11:55am - misc - by WTF? - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I caught my boyfriend secretly using my hair straightener while I was in the other room. Too embarrassed to talk to him about it, I left and came back later, only to discover him slipping on a pair of my panties. FML

#15588696
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44928) - you deserved it (7362)

On 04/01/2011 at 11:55am - misc - by WTF? - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my girlfriend and I were playfully arguing about who loved the other more. After about a minute of this, my girlfriend walked over and kicked me in the crotch as hard as she could. She then said, "There, now you don't love me as much. I win." FML

#15539670
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41781) - you deserved it (14373)

On 03/28/2011 at 11:33pm - love - by ouch - United States (Arizona)

Today, my boyfriend tried to cure me of my snake phobia by buying one. When he took it out of the cage, it bit him. Now he's terrified of them too. Even worse, he dropped the snake, so it's now loose in our house. FML

#15531816
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36830) - you deserved it (5661)

On 03/28/2011 at 2:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Macedonia (Struga)

Today, my wife created a "Points Reward" system for the privilege of sex. 10 points for doing the dishes, 20 for the laundry, etc. How many points do I need before I can have sex with her? 2300. FML

#15430260
695 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67717) - you deserved it (14662)

On 03/22/2011 at 10:59am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML

#15415559
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34813) - you deserved it (30430)

On 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)

Today, I was spending Saint Patrick's Day with my girlfriend, when she started pinching me for not wearing green. To my complete shock, when she pinched my nipple, I got the biggest, most noticeable erection I've ever had in my life, and no matter what I did, it wouldn't go away. We were in public. FML

#15355329
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38789) - you deserved it (8141)

On 03/17/2011 at 6:38pm - intimacy - by Mr. Sensitive Nips - United States (Texas)

Today, my mom caught me talking to my penis. FML

#15333405
377 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18625) - you deserved it (86467)

On 03/16/2011 at 3:31am - intimacy - by eric - United States

Today, I rushed my dog to the vet because he was foaming at the mouth. I returned home with a bill for $200 and a dog who apparently has a thing for marshmallows. FML

#15198573
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25925) - you deserved it (5397)

On 03/04/2011 at 5:57pm - money - by duncanisgey - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to stick her finger up my ass during sex. I screamed like a little girl and barely managed to finish. Afterward, she said, 'Now you know how it feels.' FML

#15165919
339 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16512) - you deserved it (80489)

On 03/01/2011 at 6:51pm - intimacy - by Anon. (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I took a picture of myself and put it on Facebook. After I did so, I realized that in the background, you can see my crush's Facebook page up on my laptop. He tagged himself. FML

#15105515
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14505) - you deserved it (43068)

On 02/24/2011 at 7:37pm - misc - by verasam01 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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