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nelesia

Offline (the 09/18/2014 at 3:55am) | Search for a member

nelesia

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  • Number of visits : 189
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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nelesia's page activity

Visits<b>LaLince</b> - the 01/19/2013 at 12:42am

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nelesia's favorite FMLs

Today, while being robbed, a man heroically chased down the robber and got my purse back. He then looked at the distance between us, turned the other way and ran off with it. FML

#15974140
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44269) - you deserved it (3332)

On 04/29/2011 at 2:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was out shopping. It was fine until my dental crossbow broke as I was laughing. The springs locked, and I couldn't close my mouth. The orthodontist couldn't see me for two hours, leaving me to walk around town with my mouth hanging open like a psychopath. FML

Today, I found out the hard way that I'm the "lucky" type of woman who can experience intense orgasms in certain positions: in the middle of group yoga. FML

#15896670
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42783) - you deserved it (6872)

On 04/23/2011 at 10:55am - intimacy - by nightDREAMERms (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I picked up on a telemarketer and started speaking in Portuguese. It turns out that this particular telemarketer spoke it as well. Every time I hung up, he called back. Telemarketers get really excited when they find out someone else speaks their language. FML

#15853054
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29824) - you deserved it (9568)

On 04/19/2011 at 11:05pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend compared my penis to an ewok from Star Wars. She says it's short, stubby, and fuzzy. Now she sings the Star Wars theme when we hang out. FML

#15817034
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42371) - you deserved it (8254)

On 04/17/2011 at 1:56am - intimacy - by rastafarimon (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I freaked out when the remote wouldn't unlock my car. I stood in the rain trying to open the door. Unsure of what to do next, I called my boyfriend. He told me to "put the key in the door". I had forgotten about that option. FML

#15772637
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8522) - you deserved it (61277)

On 04/13/2011 at 5:44pm - misc - by andimanastudent (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my dad set my hair on fire while cooking. He then tried to convince me that it spontaneously combusted. FML

#15748072
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29159) - you deserved it (2934)

On 04/11/2011 at 11:07pm - health - by ILiveWithMorons (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I finally found a reason to quit smoking. I threw my cigarette butt out the window and it blew back in, went down the back of my pants, and burnt my butt in 3 different places. FML

#15693395
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11487) - you deserved it (48337)

On 04/08/2011 at 11:30am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my 3 year old daughter decided to put black nail polish over the webcam lens on my laptop because "It wasn't all black, so I decided to fix it." FML

#15650612
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30461) - you deserved it (5392)

On 04/05/2011 at 12:48pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I returned home to find the key to my mailbox missing. I called the post office and was informed that a new key will cost me $15. I have no money, and my paycheck is in the mailbox. FML

#15636997
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31855) - you deserved it (4675)

On 04/04/2011 at 3:47pm - money - by DaisyMay (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went up to a girl at a bus stop and started chatting her up. Her response? "Am I being robbed?" FML

#15631458
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29259) - you deserved it (6528)

On 04/04/2011 at 2:15am - misc - by Anonymous - Mozambique (Maputo)

Today, I was at a grocery store with my 3 year old son. As I was picking a cereal out, an older man comes over and says, "You should have used condoms. What an ugly boy." FML

#15628215
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59460) - you deserved it (5865)

On 04/03/2011 at 10:47pm - kids - by ravenskater -

Today, I found out that my dog is so lazy, she doesn't even get out of my bed in the morning to poop. FML

#15591569
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31475) - you deserved it (6349)

On 04/01/2011 at 5:12pm - animals - by poopybed - United States (Illinois)

Today, I caught my boyfriend secretly using my hair straightener while I was in the other room. Too embarrassed to talk to him about it, I left and came back later, only to discover him slipping on a pair of my panties. FML

#15588696
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46044) - you deserved it (7501)

On 04/01/2011 at 11:55am - misc - by WTF? - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I caught my boyfriend secretly using my hair straightener while I was in the other room. Too embarrassed to talk to him about it, I left and came back later, only to discover him slipping on a pair of my panties. FML

#15588696
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46044) - you deserved it (7501)

On 04/01/2011 at 11:55am - misc - by WTF? - United Kingdom (London)



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