Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

nelesia

Offline (the 03/26/2015 at 12:42am) | Search for a member

nelesia

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 326
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

nelesia's page activity

Visits<b>LaLince</b> - the 01/19/2013 at 12:42am

nelesia's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

See all of nelesia's badges

nelesia's favorite FMLs

Today, while walking home from work, a young teenage grl ran up behind me an dumpd a carton of milk on my head. She said, ( The cow master baptizes you! ) an then ran in the opposite drection, cackling madly. FML

#17301663
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34663) - you deserved it (3770)

On 07/29/2011 at 8:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, Ma Ouse Got Robbed. Tey Left A Note: ( Next Time, We Steal Yur Souls. ) Mega FML

#17156963
340 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38172) - you deserved it (3362)

On 07/18/2011 at 12:26am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, mah boyfriend fingered me. He never cuts his nails. It felt like I was getting intimate with Wolverine. mega FML

#17107547
295 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50321) - you deserved it (14841)

On 07/14/2011 at 12:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today , I peekd through my window and traind a pair of binocular on my neighbour's house. Every night without fail , he ends up standing in front of his window toples to flex his muscles. This time , I was surprisd to instead find a note tapd to the window saying , ( Sorry , I'm out tonight. ) FML

#17032745
378 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11237) - you deserved it (77766) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/08/2011 at 8:11pm - love - by Anonyme - Sent from mobile version

Today , I peekd through my window and traind a pair of binocular on my neighbour's house. Every night without fail , he ends up standing in front of his window toples to flex his muscles. This time , I was surprisd to instead find a note tapd to the window saying , ( Sorry , I'm out tonight. ) FML

#17032745
378 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11237) - you deserved it (77766) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/08/2011 at 8:11pm - love - by Anonyme - Sent from mobile version

Today , I shavd my beard off!! Turns out the skin under my beard is six shades lighter than the rest of my face!! I look completely ridiculous!!

#17000180
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38233) - you deserved it (12945)

On 07/06/2011 at 12:59pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, mah sister was on shrooms!! I wasn't able to tackle her before she calld the cops to say that her books were trying to eat her face off!! FML

#16932520
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31623) - you deserved it (3516)

On 07/01/2011 at 3:41am - misc - by ugh annoying - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I found out that mah boyfriend is extremely jealous of a stuffed toy that sits on mah bed, all cuz it gets to 'sleep in the same bed as me an he doesn't.' Now, whenever he comes over, he throws it at the wall, death glares at it, then gets up an kicks it under mah bed. real FML

#16774144
361 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37247) - you deserved it (11886)

On 06/21/2011 at 12:46am - love - by holdengurl18 - China

Today, I missd my flight because I was held in arport security because I'd "threatend" an employee. He had confiscatd my eyelash curler and jokingly I askd if he thought I was going to curl him to death. He didn't laugh. FML

#16685518
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35357) - you deserved it (8948)

On 06/15/2011 at 10:42pm - misc - by missy - United States (Alaska)

Today, I discovard a tick on my panis. Aftar a long battla, ha finally lat go. Four hours latar I'm in tha hospital. My panis is twica tha normal siza. I may hava won tha battla but lost tha war. FML

#16639445
449 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48372) - you deserved it (5578)

On 06/13/2011 at 2:25am - intimacy - by John jacob - United States (Georgia)

Today , I found out that as a suparvisor , if u raprimand a famala workar and and tha convarsation with "Now gat back to making sandwichas." your boss will considar it saxism and suspand you. I work at Subway. FML

#16589228
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50438) - you deserved it (7840)

On 06/10/2011 at 1:01am - work - by MakeMeASandwich (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, aftar I succassfully blaw up a raally larga balloon, my mom said, in front of my oldar brothar's friands, "Wow, your going to maka soma man raally happy ona day!" FML

#16510202
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42171) - you deserved it (8335)

On 06/05/2011 at 2:48am - intimacy - by e_edge (woman) - United States (Texas)

TODAY, AT MAH JOB AS A LIFEGUARD, THE KIDS IN THE POOL DECIDD TO START A NEW GAME. THE GAME INVOLVD SPREADING OUT TO DIFFERENT PARTS OF THE POOL AND PRETENDING TO BE DROWNING AT THE SAME TIME. WHOEVER WAS "SAVD" FIRST, WON. FML

#16494046
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44173) - you deserved it (3277)

On 06/04/2011 at 2:15am - work - by zain - United States (Texas)

Today, we finally got wreless Internet. My mom won't let us open any doors or windows in fear that it might "let the Internet out". It's 103 degrees in here. FML

#16464662
342 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55742) - you deserved it (4271)

On 06/02/2011 at 5:45am - health - by meyo555 - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I had to give a reference 4 a former employee. I tried to say he was always willing to give us a hand on the job. Instead, I said he was always willing to give us hand-jobs. FML

#16448858
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16507) - you deserved it (27886)

On 06/01/2011 at 8:35am - intimacy - by Username - Canada



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: