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nelesia

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nelesia

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  • Number of visits : 146
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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nelesia's page activity

Visits<b>LaLince</b> - the 01/19/2013 at 12:42am

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nelesia's favorite FMLs

Today, my parents gave me a sock and card for my eighteenth birthday. The card said, "Now that Dobby is free, get out." FML

#20118693
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23520) - you deserved it (2961)

On 10/15/2012 at 9:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, while I was using my computer, my cat ran up to the power strip, looked me in the eyes, and hit the power switch, turning everything off. She does this quite often. FML

#20116072
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22611) - you deserved it (4203)

On 10/14/2012 at 3:00am - animals - by stop it ninja - United States (Virginia)

Today, my five-year-old daughter asked me why moms don't swallow clothes, so that their babies won't be born naked. My husband burst into derisive laughter, and has now trained her into responding to the name "Derp-Derp." FML

#20071956
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18177) - you deserved it (1907)

On 09/14/2012 at 7:06pm - kids - by -___- (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I learned that I'm expecting twins. A boy and a girl. My husband, upon finding out about this, immediately suggested that we give them Star Wars names. But not Luke and Leia. Oh no. He wants to name them Darth and Vayda. And he is absolutely serious about this. FML

#20068529
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21885) - you deserved it (3440)

On 09/12/2012 at 3:03am - kids - by AGeeksWife (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I used a red-eye removal tool on one of my photos. I quickly realised how bad my acne is when the software couldn't distinguish between my eyes and cheeks. FML

#19856551
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18235) - you deserved it (2006) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 06/27/2012 at 4:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, my identical twin sister's boyfriend walked over to me, and whispered in my ear, "I know what you look like naked." FML

#19776975
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40034) - you deserved it (3810)

On 06/12/2012 at 2:28pm - misc - by creeped out - United States (New York)

Today, I had to get a prostate exam. Right before the doctor started, he told me that if I found it awkward at all, I should just imagine I was being probed by aliens. FML

#19603388
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19126) - you deserved it (1879)

On 05/10/2012 at 5:22pm - health - by Jesse (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I have been awake so long I hallucinated a llama in my living room. I have a medical condition that keeps me from sleeping properly. I've run out of medication. I still see the llama. FML

#19482788
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30294) - you deserved it (2574)

On 04/17/2012 at 5:38am - health - by SeeingLlamas (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I confided to my dad that my girlfriend had dumped me for another guy. He said "good" and explained that given how overpopulated the planet is, he's actually disappointed that I'm not gay. His advice was: "just wank it off and move on". FML

#19377820
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21674) - you deserved it (2510)

On 03/30/2012 at 6:21pm - love - by sad (man) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)

Today, I told my daughter that she should put some love into her cooking. She started kissing the ingredients. FML

#19305380
7 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16234) - you deserved it (11664)

On 03/19/2012 at 12:59am - kids - by FoodyFood (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I was walking to a café with my soon-to-be boss. While crossing a busy street, I slipped in a puddle and accidentally grabbed his junk to catch myself. FML

#19299897
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23388) - you deserved it (2605)

On 03/18/2012 at 11:04am - work - by cachucy - United States (Illinois)

Today, while making my daily offering of turd to the porcelain throne, I took out my phone and started playing a game. I suddenly felt a tickling sensation on my leg, and I freaked out as I saw hundreds of ants had emerged from behind the toilet. FML

#19215354
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28205) - you deserved it (3731)

On 03/04/2012 at 5:20pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I changed my relationship status on Facebook from "in a relationship" to "single." I forgot to take my phone to work, and when I got back, I saw someone had replied, "What happened?" Someone else commented, "He broke his hand." My ex and a bunch of other "friends" liked it. FML

#18935378
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17234) - you deserved it (3840)

On 01/28/2012 at 4:52pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I couldn't contain my laughter when a patient told me she'd named her unborn daughter Twinkie. FML

#18728006
397 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30556) - you deserved it (4706)

On 01/06/2012 at 5:49pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I caught my mother trying to text on her iPhone, with her nipple. FML

#18364433
300 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37269) - you deserved it (3069)

On 11/27/2011 at 6:46am - misc - by Anonymous - Denmark (Hovedstaden)



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