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negb

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negb
  • Town/Country : Canada
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 11 November 1994 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 4173
  • Number of comments : 116
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About negb : •I have dreads (2 years old)
•I have 12 piercings and want more, as well as tattoos
•I'm a gamer
•I love animals
•I'm lazy :D

MSG me if you wanna talk

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negb's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

42

You see, sonny boy, moderating FMLs is a bit like running a marathon.

See all of negb's badges

negb's favorite FMLs

Today, I started to come to during dental surgery. I clearly heard someone behind me say "Shit! Get this fucker back under!" then another person mentioning they'd have to kill me to avoid "another lawsuit", followed by laughter and the blackness of sleep. FML

#20909921
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53816) - you deserved it (2850)

On 10/06/2013 at 5:49pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I realized that my dog is an evil genius. As I sat down to have a snack, he barked as if he saw someone outside. I went to check it out, but nobody was there. When I returned, I found my dog on the table finishing off my bacon sandwich. FML

#20908563
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39816) - you deserved it (7288)

On 10/05/2013 at 4:23pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I pretended to be deaf to a door to door salesman. He knew sign language. FML

#20907982
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19745) - you deserved it (45018)

On 10/05/2013 at 2:56am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, my dog tore up a single book from the dozens within his reach. That book was titled "How to Train Your Dog". FML

#20907686
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37627) - you deserved it (4880) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/04/2013 at 7:00pm - animals - by iet_Wyrda (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, while in bed, my boyfriend pointed to my stomach and said, "Bad fat", then pointed to my boobs and said, "Good fat." FML

#20906869
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48611) - you deserved it (6706)

On 10/04/2013 at 4:20am - misc - by f.a.t. (woman) - Australia

Today, a friend complimented me on my "smoky eyeshadow". I wasn't wearing eye makeup. She was complimenting the result of my insomnia. FML

#20904600
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37877) - you deserved it (2821)

On 10/02/2013 at 12:22pm - health - by Tired (woman) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)

Today, I purposely set my phone off in class to make it seem like I had friends. FML

#20903065
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37579) - you deserved it (14339)

On 10/01/2013 at 6:18am - misc - by :/ -

Today, I sent my boyfriend a text asking him to come over a little later and have some "fun" with me. He texted back, "WTF babe? Breaking Bad's on tonight. You got a dildo, fucking use it." FML

#20900698
296 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54992) - you deserved it (22593)

On 09/29/2013 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by -___- (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my girlfriend walked in on me taking a dump, and started plucking her eyebrows. When I told her I was uncomfortable, she said, "Aww, is my baby's poo shy? Is it, is it?" and pinched my cheek. FML

#20900665
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39966) - you deserved it (6698)

On 09/29/2013 at 3:21pm - misc - by noweddingforyou (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while sitting in a crowded waiting room at the doctor's office, my 5-year-old daughter pointed at my 6-year-old son's crotch and boomed, "MOM, WHY DOES ANDY HAVE A FINGER DOWN THERE?" to which he yelled, "IT'S CALLED A COCK!" FML

#20898150
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47202) - you deserved it (6164)

On 09/27/2013 at 4:00pm - kids - by SerenityJ (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I came home to find my parents wearing Santa hats and blasting Christmas music at full volume. So begins three months of hell. FML

#20898104
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35822) - you deserved it (3530)

On 09/27/2013 at 3:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, I was cleaning up litter from the street, when a guy asked who I work for. I said nobody and that I was just doing some community service. Before I could clarify that it was voluntary community service, he called me a "piece of shit delinquent", spat on me, and walked off. FML

#20898099
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37949) - you deserved it (2723)

On 09/27/2013 at 3:01pm - misc - by sigh (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I woke up from a night of heavy drinking to find my girlfriend dumped me. Apparently I drunk-called her last night and told her that someone as beautiful as her could be with someone way better than me. She agreed. FML

#20897714
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36019) - you deserved it (14768)

On 09/27/2013 at 3:33am - love - by drinkdrankdrunk (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I took my girlfriend out to eat at a diner where my friend works. My friend was our waiter but too busy to talk much. He texted me after we'd left to tell me that my girlfriend had slipped him her number. FML

#20894038
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47782) - you deserved it (2894)

On 09/24/2013 at 3:15am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I started my new job at a restaurant I really like. As I waited on my first customer, I suggested that he try the apple pie, because it's my favourite. He looked up at me and said, "Yeah? Figures! Lay off 'em, porky!" FML

#20891546
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40409) - you deserved it (4969)

On 09/22/2013 at 2:00pm - work - by -_- (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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