Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

negb

Online | Search for a member

negb

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 11 November 1994 (19 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 6363
  • Number of comments : 132
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About negb : •I had dreads for 2 years but got rid of them. I plan on starting a new set soon.
•I have 12 piercings and want more, as well as tattoos
•I'm a gamer

negb's page activity

Visits<b>AriettaX</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 6:29pm<b>mysteryguy3039</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 8:04am<b>tmd4L</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 11:04am<b>bcoe</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 11:21am<b>swharley</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 5:49am<b>gay_flavored_cx</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 12:40pm<b>MountainGiant87</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 9:52pm<b>emmachristine</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 11:50pm<b>andiesaur</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 2:07am<b>qwertkinz</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 9:29am<b>allred1997</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 1:48am<b>badnelly123</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 12:06am<b>colby6666</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 11:54pm<b>TheKingKen</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 7:56pm<b>Tobiaspe</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 3:58am<b>Adam5858</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 11:41am<b>PoppyBear45</b> - the 06/27/2014 at 9:46pm<b>linds3y</b> - the 06/27/2014 at 1:49pm

negb's FML badges

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of negb's badges

negb's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up to every window in my house packed with snow. It was so bad that I thought I'd been snowed-in, and I started freaking out. It took two hours and multiple phone calls before I found out that my neighbor had taken our prank war too seriously and staged the whole thing. FML

#21015630
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36694) - you deserved it (11914)

On 01/03/2014 at 4:04pm - misc - by thanks.... (man) - United States

Today, marks the third week since my sister's guinea pig learned to masturbate. He humps his wheel and makes squeaking noises for five minutes, then rolls over on his side and pants heavily. He does it at least twice a night while I'm trying to sleep. FML

#21008605
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45860) - you deserved it (3627)

On 12/28/2013 at 7:31pm - animals - by Anonomous - United States (Vermont)

Today, I announced my pregnancy to my husband. He responded with, "Well shit, when do these faucets turn on?" and started honking my boobs. FML

#21006112
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37300) - you deserved it (5201)

On 12/26/2013 at 12:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I pretended to cry in front of my cat because she doesn't cuddle with me anymore. Yeah, I tried to guilt-trip my cat into loving me. FML

#21003528
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40042) - you deserved it (10491)

On 12/24/2013 at 11:53am - animals - by PityKitty (woman) -

Today, a man started a deep conversation with me at the bus stop about life, death, and the miracles of things we take for granted every day. I was really enjoying it until he looked at his watch and said, "Oh shit, mushrooms make me lose track of time!" and ran off into the night. FML

#20998821
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39045) - you deserved it (4385)

On 12/20/2013 at 3:45am - misc - by whatjusthappened (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, a weird guy in pajama pants and a fake hair-hat kept standing by us at a concert. Everyone talked about what a creep he was. I would have too, but he was my dad. FML

#20997867
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42268) - you deserved it (4337)

On 12/19/2013 at 8:48am - misc - by sammers27 (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my teenage daughter found out that she's pregnant, but insists she's still a virgin. Who does she think knocked her up? God? FML

#20996030
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53865) - you deserved it (7104)

On 12/17/2013 at 4:57pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Egypt

Today, I would like to thank the program designer that put "Set as home page" directly under "Remove from history". FML

#20991949
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37354) - you deserved it (9951)

On 12/14/2013 at 1:38am - misc - by The_Rest_of_the_Story (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend let me be the first one to read the novel he dropped out of college to write. Turns out it's titled "A Brief History of Ass" and is an incoherent ramble about every time we've had anal sex. FML

#20989324
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50511) - you deserved it (8009)

On 12/11/2013 at 7:51pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I found a credit card at my job. As store policy goes, we have to cut up lost cards immediately after finding them to protect the cardholders. As I grab the scissors and cut, my manager calls out, "Has anyone seen my credit card?" FML

#20988740
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43637) - you deserved it (10177)

On 12/11/2013 at 7:33am - work - by mariology (man) - United States (Delaware)

Today, I woke up in my hospital bed after having knee surgery, on the wrong knee. FML

#20986378
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66341) - you deserved it (3592)

On 12/09/2013 at 2:17pm - health - by knee pain - United States

Today, I got a call from a girl I dated long ago, who cheated on me and got pregnant by another guy, or so we thought. Turns out it isn't his, and she is taking me to court for child support. FML

#20986260
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49987) - you deserved it (7250)

On 12/09/2013 at 12:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my crazy ex-girlfriend legally changed her last name to mine. I'm getting married in a week. FML

#20986172
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51261) - you deserved it (3371)

On 12/09/2013 at 10:10am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was chatting with my mother. She was telling me about some new mouthwash she recently got, and the moment the word "gargle" escaped her lips, my husband muttered just a little too loudly from the kitchen, "How about gargling my balls instead, bitch." Our family is now at war. FML

#20985190
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46576) - you deserved it (5130)

On 12/08/2013 at 3:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I learned that when your mom threatens to embarrass you by singing in public, the wrong response is, "Yeah? I dare you." FML



FML's blog

  • Gragrou's illustrated FML
  • One day, cats will rule the world, but not today, there's a bit of tin foil stuck under the couch. The Internet and cats is quite the love story, everybody knows that. A very serious study that was done…

Friday 26 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: