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negb

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negb
  • Town/Country : Canada
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 11 November 1994 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 4105
  • Number of comments : 112
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About negb : •I have dreads (2 years old)
•I have 12 piercings and want more, as well as tattoos
•I'm a gamer
•I love animals
•I'm lazy :D

MSG me if you wanna talk

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100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

42

You see, sonny boy, moderating FMLs is a bit like running a marathon.

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

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negb's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband was getting undressed. I told my 2-year-old daughter not to go in our bedroom because he was undressing in there. I turned my back and she instantly ran off to my bedroom. I heard her shout "I can see daddy's tail!" Now, she points to everyone's crotch and shouts "TAIL!" FML

#20943580
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46293) - you deserved it (5534)

On 11/03/2013 at 9:22am - kids - by KittyKat (woman) - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)

Today, I sat down with my daughter to have the sex talk, because she recently started seeing a guy. I mentioned at one point how disappointed I would be if she got pregnant. She went wide-eyed and asked, "Didn't mom tell you?" FML

#20942769
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53854) - you deserved it (5096)

On 11/02/2013 at 5:10pm - kids - by unknown (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, while driving in the car with my father, he handed me his iPhone and asked me to Google "Is ObamaCare good for our country?" As soon as I typed in "Is", the first result was "Is olive oil good for anal." FML

#20942318
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51246) - you deserved it (4096)

On 11/02/2013 at 9:21am - intimacy - by justme - United States (Ohio)

Today, while working customer service, I instructed a customer to press the pound key on her cellphone. She hesitated a moment before asking, "Um, the pound key? You mean the hashtag, right?" FML

#20941322
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39460) - you deserved it (3656)

On 11/01/2013 at 12:49pm - work - by #isthisthepoundkey? - United States (Florida)

Today, I got a new cell phone number and sent a text to my wife. Playing around, I said, "Hey sexy are you alone yet? I'm ready to come over." She responded with, "Hey, yeah he is at work - did you get a new number?" FML

#20941049
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (78579) - you deserved it (4547)

On 11/01/2013 at 3:01am - intimacy - by PapaW - United States (Utah)

Today, a radio show asked the question, "Where does the dentist live in Finding Nemo?" I called in and got through. When he asked me the question, instead of the actual answer I quickly gave out my own address over live radio. FML

#20939023
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34569) - you deserved it (16085)

On 10/30/2013 at 11:58am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I rushed to a dentist's appointment. Once in the chair, I apologized for not having had the time to brush my teeth beforehand. He responded with, "Ah that's alright, I just took a piss and forgot to wash my hands." FML

#20937985
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43182) - you deserved it (11315)

On 10/29/2013 at 2:57pm - health - by Anonymous - Zimbabwe

Today, my girlfriend asked me if I could love anything more than her, and if so, what. I guess "bacon" was the wrong answer. FML

#20936378
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25220) - you deserved it (37448)

On 10/28/2013 at 12:58am - love - by BaconLover - Japan

Today, I took my girlfriend to meet my parents at a family dinner. There was plenty of alcohol on offer, as is normal at our get-togethers. She got blind drunk and ended up crying to my mum about how I can't please her because I have a small penis and my oral sucks. FML

#20933730
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50068) - you deserved it (8584)

On 10/25/2013 at 6:08pm - intimacy - by Dick the Greater (man) -

Today, my ex boyfriend got into a physical fight with the guy I've been casually seeing for 9 months. Afterwards, they had a beer, a long chat, and decided this was my fault and I wasn't worth the drama. FML

#20933266
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39707) - you deserved it (17500)

On 10/25/2013 at 7:54am - love - by what did I do? - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had to call a plumber out to clear a blockage in our bathroom drainpipe. After coming back from work later in the day, and after a tearful confession from my wife, I found out that pipe wasn't the only one he snaked. FML

#20932505
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52712) - you deserved it (3258)

On 10/24/2013 at 4:06pm - misc - by soon to be divorced (man) - United States

Today, I saw a wasp on the ground, apparently injured and unable to fly. It was being mobbed by ants and looked certain to die, so I stamped on the ants to save its life. At this point it sprung up, stung me, then flew off. FML

#20932403
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31860) - you deserved it (22828)

On 10/24/2013 at 2:04pm - animals - by MBean (man) - Anguilla

Today, I decided to try LSD with a few friends in a safe environment. As an artist, I had planned to spend my trip doing psychedelic paintings and had all my supplies set up. Apparently I spent most of my time in fetal position muttering about the "evil easel" and never even touched my canvas. FML

#20930479
333 comments

Today, my mom let me stay home from school, because I was sick. We both agreed not to tell my dad, since he's adamant that I never miss even one day of school. A few hours after my mom left for work, he came back home, with another woman. FML

#20925128
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63456) - you deserved it (2634)

On 10/18/2013 at 12:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, I came across some bubble wrap. Turned out it was a special type of bubble wrap that cannot be popped. FML

#20924315
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45997) - you deserved it (4163)

On 10/17/2013 at 6:57pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

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FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

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