Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Online | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 11 November 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 13991
  • Number of comments : 155
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About negb : •I had dreads for 2 years but got rid of them. I've had my new set for about 4 months.
•I have 14 piercings and want more, as well as 2 tattoos
•I'm a gamer
•I love all animals. I own a bearded dragon and help out at a reptile/small animal rescue.

negb's page activity

Visits<b>mwali02</b> - the 09/26/2015 at 11:55pm<b>gqlmno</b> - the 09/17/2015 at 8:05pm<b>khorstmye</b> - the 09/17/2015 at 4:39pm<b>americanafrican</b> - the 09/17/2015 at 4:02pm<b>Morryo</b> - the 09/17/2015 at 1:07pm<b>wild4drums</b> - the 09/17/2015 at 9:43am<b>kevinhlee93</b> - the 09/16/2015 at 6:35pm<b>adamant84</b> - the 09/15/2015 at 3:46pm<b>wangwong</b> - the 09/12/2015 at 5:54am<b>utrax</b> - the 09/09/2015 at 11:26am<b>brandonwong</b> - the 09/02/2015 at 4:25am<b>shadowofbong</b> - the 08/30/2015 at 9:44am<b>AGhost5445</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 8:51pm<b>SirFawkes</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 8:29pm<b>callcopse</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 12:06pm<b>drshn</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 4:55am<b>katachristic</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 11:03pm<b>weirdncrazy</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 10:02pm

Fucked!<b>gqlmno</b> - the 09/18/2015 at 2:05am<b>shain1988</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 8:04pm<b>cherokeems</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 10:03am<b>spockadelic</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 2:38am<b>MrsJellyBean</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 12:55am<b>VasNormandy</b> - the 07/09/2015 at 1:22am<b>ZombieVampirez</b> - the 07/08/2015 at 11:32pm<b>ruthi666</b> - the 07/08/2015 at 6:44am<b>heartofhannah</b> - the 07/08/2015 at 5:22am<b>Isandri</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 2:56pm<b>JayGatsby</b> - the 04/30/2015 at 4:58am<b>youdontknowjj</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 8:57pm

negb's FML badges

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

See all of negb's badges

negb's favorite FMLs

Today, I was playing Mario Kart with my wife. I threw a blue shell and it hit her. She then refused to speak to me for three hours straight until right before bedtime when she called me a bastard and told me to sleep on the couch. FML


I agree, your life sucks (45801) - you deserved it (8136)

On 08/25/2014 at 1:44am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend and I were watching a TV show about wildlife. The moment the narrator said the word "peacock", my boyfriend broke down into hysterical laughter. He laughed to the point of tears, and had to excuse himself. I'm dating a man-child. FML


I agree, your life sucks (38843) - you deserved it (8090)

On 08/23/2014 at 1:51pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend called me in tears, convinced that he found me in a porn video online. It wasn't me. And when I finally got him to give me the web address, I too started crying at the realization of how fat he thinks I am. FML


I agree, your life sucks (54877) - you deserved it (5469)

On 08/23/2014 at 2:26am - intimacy - by confidence taken - United States (Mississippi)

Today, my boyfriend sent me pictures of him and his family on their trip in Florida. He accidentally included a picture of a girl sleeping in his bed, naked. FML


I agree, your life sucks (53157) - you deserved it (3849)

On 08/22/2014 at 2:02am - love - by lolatmylife - United States

Today, some random bloke introduced himself at a bar by asking to fuck me. I got tongue-tied trying to say both "fuck off" and "please go away". I ended up telling him to "Please fuck away." FML


I agree, your life sucks (40266) - you deserved it (7410)

On 08/21/2014 at 12:36pm - misc - by royallymessedup -

Today, while walking to work, I saw a homeless guy with a funny "NEED MONEY 4 BOOZE" sign, so I gave him a few spare dollars for his humor. On my way back home, he was out cold on the sidewalk with several empty bottles beside him. Whoops. FML


I agree, your life sucks (19948) - you deserved it (37702)

On 08/15/2014 at 5:10pm - money - by thoughthewasjoking (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I realized my dog looks at me with way more love in his eyes than my own boyfriend does. FML


I agree, your life sucks (39971) - you deserved it (5250)

On 08/14/2014 at 11:06am - animals - by hopeless romantic - United States (Ohio)

Today, I attended a family gathering. My cousin's new baby was being passed around. By way of politely declining to hold it, I meant to say that I looked forward to getting to know it better once it could talk. What I blurted out instead was, "I can't wait until it resembles a human being." FML

Today, I ran into my boyfriend of 5 years. The weird thing was that he was supposed to be in Iran. The even weirder thing was that he was with his wife and kids. FML


I agree, your life sucks (71690) - you deserved it (5672)

On 07/18/2014 at 12:49pm - love - by someonepleasehelpme (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, while eating dinner with my boyfriend, I look up to see him staring at me, smiling. Hoping he wanted to say how lucky of a man he was who loved me deeply, I asked him what he was thinking. He replied, "You can't smell that yet? It was a noxious one." FML


I agree, your life sucks (42664) - you deserved it (6350)

On 07/14/2014 at 7:48pm - love - by KaiyaOtaku1 (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was at the mall in the food court, when some guy asked for my number. I turned him down, but I was impressed with how ballsy he was. Without thinking, I said, "I like your balls!" Half the place instantly fell silent. FML

Today, I discovered the downside to having a "sneak-attacks-allowed" tickle war with my 4-year-old son. I had to explain to several outraged strangers at the supermarket why my son kept flinching and pulling away whenever I made any sudden movements near him. FML


I agree, your life sucks (42466) - you deserved it (6270)

On 07/13/2014 at 12:04pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I decided to bring down a very old fan from the attic. I plugged it in, and as soon as I turned it on, tiny spiders were blown all over my room. FML


I agree, your life sucks (48491) - you deserved it (17513)

On 07/11/2014 at 1:45pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, on the bus, a little boy gave me the dirtiest look, pointed at my pregnant stomach, and menacingly said, "I know what you did." FML


I agree, your life sucks (54572) - you deserved it (7396)

On 07/11/2014 at 7:03am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my girlfriend was feeling down because she has put on some weight. I tried to make her feel better by showing her I can still pick her up. I can, and I was even able to hide the fact that I shat myself doing it. I'm so romantic. FML


I agree, your life sucks (56055) - you deserved it (8390)

On 07/06/2014 at 3:28pm - love - by oh shit (man) - United States (Illinois)

G.E. Gallas's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • G.E. Gallas's illustrated FML
  • Hardcore will never die, but you will. We’re back with some rock n roll, or dare I say it, some punk rock. Don't run away, it's not that terrible stuff that emo kids listen to while slashing their…

Friday 2 October 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: