Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

negb

Online | Search for a member

negb

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 11 November 1994 (19 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 6364
  • Number of comments : 132
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About negb : •I had dreads for 2 years but got rid of them. I plan on starting a new set soon.
•I have 12 piercings and want more, as well as tattoos
•I'm a gamer

negb's page activity

Visits<b>AriettaX</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 6:29pm<b>mysteryguy3039</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 8:04am<b>tmd4L</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 11:04am<b>bcoe</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 11:21am<b>swharley</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 5:49am<b>gay_flavored_cx</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 12:40pm<b>MountainGiant87</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 9:52pm<b>emmachristine</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 11:50pm<b>andiesaur</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 2:07am<b>qwertkinz</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 9:29am<b>allred1997</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 1:48am<b>badnelly123</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 12:06am<b>colby6666</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 11:54pm<b>TheKingKen</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 7:56pm<b>Tobiaspe</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 3:58am<b>Adam5858</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 11:41am<b>PoppyBear45</b> - the 06/27/2014 at 9:46pm<b>linds3y</b> - the 06/27/2014 at 1:49pm

negb's FML badges

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of negb's badges

negb's favorite FMLs

Today, I attended a family gathering. My cousin's new baby was being passed around. By way of politely declining to hold it, I meant to say that I looked forward to getting to know it better once it could talk. What I blurted out instead was, "I can't wait until it resembles a human being." FML

Today, I ran into my boyfriend of 5 years. The weird thing was that he was supposed to be in Iran. The even weirder thing was that he was with his wife and kids. FML

#21212869
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66852) - you deserved it (4885)

On 07/18/2014 at 12:49pm - love - by someonepleasehelpme (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, while eating dinner with my boyfriend, I look up to see him staring at me, smiling. Hoping he wanted to say how lucky of a man he was who loved me deeply, I asked him what he was thinking. He replied, "You can't smell that yet? It was a noxious one." FML

#21209203
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40132) - you deserved it (6013)

On 07/14/2014 at 7:48pm - love - by KaiyaOtaku1 (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was at the mall in the food court, when some guy asked for my number. I turned him down, but I was impressed with how ballsy he was. Without thinking, I said, "I like your balls!" Half the place instantly fell silent. FML

Today, I discovered the downside to having a "sneak-attacks-allowed" tickle war with my 4-year-old son. I had to explain to several outraged strangers at the supermarket why my son kept flinching and pulling away whenever I made any sudden movements near him. FML

#21207892
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41521) - you deserved it (6137)

On 07/13/2014 at 12:04pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I decided to bring down a very old fan from the attic. I plugged it in, and as soon as I turned it on, tiny spiders were blown all over my room. FML

#21206028
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45628) - you deserved it (16184)

On 07/11/2014 at 1:45pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, on the bus, a little boy gave me the dirtiest look, pointed at my pregnant stomach, and menacingly said, "I know what you did." FML

#21205823
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50575) - you deserved it (6624)

On 07/11/2014 at 7:03am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my girlfriend was feeling down because she has put on some weight. I tried to make her feel better by showing her I can still pick her up. I can, and I was even able to hide the fact that I shat myself doing it. I'm so romantic. FML

#21200680
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52896) - you deserved it (7984)

On 07/06/2014 at 3:28pm - love - by oh shit (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, a guy told me that I look like Angelina Jolie. Before I could thank him, he continued, "I mean like in the chest area. After the mastectomy, you know?" FML

#21198697
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37152) - you deserved it (3313)

On 07/04/2014 at 5:30pm - misc - by fleatitting fame (woman) - Norway (Oslo)

Today, I was talking to my boss about dogs and cats. I'm a dog person; he's a cat person. He told me that he likes cats better, because they are laid back and don't do anything all day. Before I could stop myself, I blurted out, "Just like you?" FML

#21188385
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36879) - you deserved it (25119)

On 06/25/2014 at 8:20pm - work - by Respect101 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to bite the bullet and finally buy maternity pants. Problem is, I'm not pregnant and I'm a 25-year-old man. FML

#21188382
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35353) - you deserved it (22193)

On 06/25/2014 at 8:19pm - health - by Roy Lawson - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend informed me of how I had really hurt his feelings. Apparently, not wanting to be sent a photo of his poop is hurtful. FML

#21188342
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39528) - you deserved it (5277)

On 06/25/2014 at 7:38pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I heard my son say, "I don't want any bacon with my eggs". Where did I go wrong? FML

#21187679
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52052) - you deserved it (16838)

On 06/25/2014 at 8:30am - kids - by failed dad (man) - Greece (Attiki)

Today, I got called a slut. I don't know what is worse, the fact I was called it or that I felt strangely flattered that the person thought I was getting any. FML

Today, the girl who broke up with me and disappeared 6 years ago wished me a happy Father's Day. FML

#21176638
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50894) - you deserved it (5800)

On 06/16/2014 at 11:30am - misc - by IneedMaury (man) - United States (Massachusetts)



FML's blog

  • Gragrou's illustrated FML
  • One day, cats will rule the world, but not today, there's a bit of tin foil stuck under the couch. The Internet and cats is quite the love story, everybody knows that. A very serious study that was done…

Friday 26 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: