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negb

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negb
  • Town/Country : Canada
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 11 November 1994 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 2108
  • Number of comments : 39
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About negb : Stalker!!!!

Ummm Facts:

•I have dreads (very new)
•I have 12 piercings and want more, as well as tattoos
•I'm a gamer
•I love animals
•I'm lazy :D

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An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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negb's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out I'm going to be a grandfather. I'm 29, my son is 13 and the girl in question is 16. FML

#20731946
357 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35503) - you deserved it (21474)

On 06/17/2013 at 6:49pm - kids - by young grandpa - United States (Georgia)

Today, I returned home from a month long trip overseas to find that my bird sitter has trained my parrot to whisper, "You're going to die" in a sinister voice. FML

#20731669
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34294) - you deserved it (4316)

On 06/17/2013 at 4:07pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my grandparents went around bragging to people that I'm taking my STD test. They meant to say SAT. FML

#20731460
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34644) - you deserved it (1970)

On 06/17/2013 at 1:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, my grandma's new dildo arrived in the mail. We buried her yesterday. FML

#20731352
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40607) - you deserved it (2029)

On 06/17/2013 at 12:43pm - intimacy - by hinting (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my dad refused to believe that the Animal Planet's mermaid mockumentaries were faked. Instead he got into a huge argument with me, claiming the government is covering up the existence of mermaids and must've threatened the producers to keep it quiet. FML

#20730804
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27051) - you deserved it (3689)

On 06/17/2013 at 1:42am - misc - by Idontbelieveinmagic (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I went fishing with my dad. I figured, since we were out on the dock, I may as well get rid of my farmer's tan. I fell asleep in the sun and woke up to a fishing net draped over me. I now have a fishnet pattern down the front of my body. FML

#20730236
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30118) - you deserved it (8508)

On 06/16/2013 at 9:39pm - misc - by jhughes1997 (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went to a bar for some drinks. A guy looked me up and down, gave me a suggestive smile, then asked for my name and number. I'd have been a little less creeped out if he hadn't been standing beside me at the urinal the whole time. FML

#20728225
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38215) - you deserved it (2989) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 06/15/2013 at 6:24pm - love - by Sovekipisse (man) - France (Pays de la Loire)

Today, my husband of 3 years learned that he's going to be a father. No, I'm not pregnant. FML

#20726687
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49223) - you deserved it (2898)

On 06/15/2013 at 12:28am - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was going through my daughter's contacts, except all of them had names from Harry Potter. I found the name "Mom." I was relieved I didn't have some silly name, until I realized it wasn't my number; it was her father's new wife. My number was under "Voldemort." FML

#20726673
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38790) - you deserved it (16030)

On 06/15/2013 at 12:19am - kids - by Jill (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I walked into the living room, only to find my brother wanking off to an episode of My Little Pony. FML

#20726036
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43327) - you deserved it (4117)

On 06/14/2013 at 6:29pm - intimacy - by bestiality, not even once (woman) - Ireland (Waterford)

Today, my son visited for the first time in three years, asking to stay a while. It turns out he insulted someone online and gave his address in case they wanted to fight him. They accepted the offer, and so my son's imaginary Muay Thai skills went AWOL, along with his testicles. FML

#20726002
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33622) - you deserved it (3494)

On 06/14/2013 at 6:12pm - kids - by I fathered a pussy. (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, after dating for almost a year, I decided to introduce my parents to the man I was sure I'd fallen in love with. When dad saw him, his and my boyfriend's face completely dropped. I asked them what was wrong because I could feel the discomfort. Turns out, I'm dating my dad's drug dealer. FML

#20724998
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57802) - you deserved it (5690)

On 06/14/2013 at 2:48am - love - by explanations (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was riding a bike when a truck accidentally hit me. The handsome driver came out and asked if I was alright. I said, "I am now" and winked. He said "Eww, no" then immediately ran away and drove his truck around me. FML

#20724353
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33918) - you deserved it (21366)

On 06/13/2013 at 9:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my dad was teasing me, saying a guy would have to be blind to go on a date with me. I then introduced him to my new, visually impaired boyfriend. He hasn't stopped laughing. FML

#20724232
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43047) - you deserved it (5293)

On 06/13/2013 at 8:30pm - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Southampton)

Today, I tried to lift my girlfriend and spin her around like in a Rom-Com. I started the spin, then heard a pop. The pain caused me to yelp and fall to the floor, dropping her on top of me. I dislocated my kneecap trying to be romantic. She only weighs about 90 lbs. FML

#20723365
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41129) - you deserved it (10142)

On 06/13/2013 at 11:13am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)



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