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ndvorsky

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ndvorsky
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 240
  • Number of comments : 99
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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ndvorsky's favorite FMLs

Today, two American guys attacked me for not speaking their language. I'm from England, and they said I'm speaking my own language wrong. FML

#18525821
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33425) - you deserved it (5995)

On 12/16/2011 at 3:50am - misc - by Brit - Reserved

Today, at the Black Friday Sale, a fully grown man hit my 5 year old daughter for an Xbox. In anger, I punched the guy and gave him a bloody nose. I'm now banned from Best Buy, and my daughter has a concussion. FML

#18344232
502 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43540) - you deserved it (5330)

On 11/25/2011 at 3:20am - misc - by nicoreal89 - United States (Texas)

Today, I was driving my eight year-old son to school when a guy cut me off, prompting me to yell "douche bag" as a reflex out of the window. Realizing my mistake, I turned to my son and told him to never, ever talk like that. His response was, "Too late, douche bag." FML

#17966458
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10821) - you deserved it (39853)

On 10/12/2011 at 8:37am - kids - by John W. (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I decided to formally introduce my girlfriend to my parents. My dad took the opportunity to apologize for walking in on us a few days ago while we were having sex. It wasn't her. Thanks dad. FML

#17709124
572 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17233) - you deserved it (218402)

On 09/10/2011 at 2:35am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I gave my husband an ultimatum: either he could have sex with me or play Minecraft. Needless to say, he spent the rest of the evening playing Minecraft. FML

#16467610
384 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34475) - you deserved it (12645)

On 06/02/2011 at 12:52pm - intimacy - by minecraftwilldie - United States (Illinois)

Today, while stuck in a traffic jam, my son silently changed my gear to reverse. FML

#15248759
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35335) - you deserved it (6152)

On 03/09/2011 at 4:52am - kids - by Anonymous - India (Karnataka)

Today, I decided to improve my posture by sitting through all of my classes with my shoulders and back completely straight. Pretty soon I couldn't move my shoulders at all. I had to go to the chiropractor. It turns out that in trying to improve my posture, I misaligned my spine instead. FML

#15229929
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25620) - you deserved it (5667)

On 03/07/2011 at 2:39pm - health - by Less (woman) - Reserved

Today, my new $100 electronic cigarette came in the mail. I was so excited to try it out, I used it on the drive to work. The people who sold it to me weren't kidding when they said it looked and felt real. I threw it out the window when I was done. FML

#12604182
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9097) - you deserved it (53632)

On 08/18/2010 at 12:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was taking a shower when my boyfriend suddenly hopped in with me. We were getting a little frisky when my mom's hand unexpectedly came through the curtain, and dropped a condom in the bottom of the shower, all the while saying, "Keep it safe kids!". FML

#3932433
359 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50410) - you deserved it (26091)

On 07/21/2009 at 3:45pm - intimacy - by uh-oh (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I realized that a Ph.D. in Mechanical Engineering does not offer enough knowledge and experience to accomplish some simple, everyday tasks. I have spent the last 12 years designing large robots to scour the seabed for shipwrecks yet the mechanism used to unhook a bra eludes me. FML

#3380486
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44201) - you deserved it (17322)

On 06/30/2009 at 10:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my family and I went to a beach where you could swim with dolphins. I was a little scared to swim with them so the trainers had a 5 minute chat to me about how they were harmless creatures. Once I got in, the dolphin attacked me and bit me. FML

#1050396
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59843) - you deserved it (6589)

On 04/17/2009 at 7:49am - misc - by Anonymous - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)



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