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nativebacon

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nativebacon
  • Town/Country : St. Louis, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 4 March 1988 (26 years)
  • Number of visits : 37777
  • Number of comments : 96
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About nativebacon : I am a music education major at Southeast Missouri State University. I am incredibly passionate about opera, and I plan to get my masters in performance and my PhD in vocal pedagogy.

I am bisexual, and it's not a choice.

I do not believe in organized religion, but I try to respect other religions as much as possible (unless they're thrown in my face).

nativebacon's last visitors

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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

nativebacon's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up to find The Sims 2 running on pause on my laptop. I unpaused to find my character and my boyfriend's were no longer together. Slightly confused, I went on to find the note my boyfriend left. It said, "I hope you can take a hint." I got dumped through a computer game. FML

#927368
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (78864) - you deserved it (4885)

On 04/12/2009 at 2:11pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my Dad called me to tell me that he had finally won the lottery and that I no longer had to worry about trying to find a way to pay for school. I was so excited I started crying. He then told me that he won $5 on a scratch off lotto ticket. He bought a sandwich. Funny dad. FML

#914206
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54512) - you deserved it (8315)

On 04/11/2009 at 12:13pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I asked my girl friend of a year and a half to give me a blow job. She replied okay and bent down and blew on my penis. Then she looked up at me and said was that good. She was serious. FML

#909616
297 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62056) - you deserved it (18229)

On 04/11/2009 at 12:12am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, brand new cocktail dress: $300. Matching peep toe heels: $100. Getting my hair done at the salon: $80. Treating myself to a mani/pedi: $50. When finally meeting the guy I have been chatting online with for 2 months, I find out he's my cousin: priceless. FML

Today, my fiancé's parents visited. I keep chickens for their eggs, and his parents own a farm, so we had a connection. They told us to leave the house while they cooked us dinner. When we returned, we faced two steaming plates of chicken. My chickens. They had names. FML

#896114
405 comments

I agree, your life sucks (201260) - you deserved it (19790)

On 04/10/2009 at 1:11am - animals - by lanbon182 - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. The TV was on with the volume low, as we had been too preoccupied to turn it off. All of the sudden, my boyfriend stopped mid-thrust. He was watching the TV. House was on. My boyfriend stopped to watch the differential diagnosis. FML

#887533
292 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60897) - you deserved it (13533)

On 04/09/2009 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was bored at my job at Home Depot. I got a bar code tattoo 3 weeks ago and thought it would be funny to scan it. I'm a $5.98 160z claw hammer. FML

#881347
296 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36487) - you deserved it (124620)

On 04/09/2009 at 2:03am - work - by tool (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I went on a date with this girl I met online. The conversation drifted and we were talking about how we'd prefer to die, if we had a choice. I said, "I want to skydive over the ocean without a parachute." She said she wants to be made into a wallet. FML

#849037
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53502) - you deserved it (8645)

On 04/07/2009 at 3:08am - love - by no_leather_of_any_kind - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was ringing up a lady and her daughter at the shoe store I work at. The background on my nametag is a rainbow, and when the daughter saw it, she asked her mother why it was so. Her mother looks at my nametag, then me, then turns to her daughter and says "Because he hates God honey". FML

#827000
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60928) - you deserved it (4155)

On 04/05/2009 at 11:14pm - work - by maconda99 (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was riding my bike and stopped at a street light. A little girl looked at me, then asked her mother, "Mommy, why does that girl have a ring through her nose?" Her mother then replied, "Because her parents don't love her." FML

#818828
257 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62171) - you deserved it (16981)

On 04/05/2009 at 3:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was in IKEA, furniture shopping with my dad. He was looking at one couch that was particularly small. I said "dad that couch is for like a midget." I look over to see a midget looking at me, sitting on the same couch in a different color. He definitely heard me. FML

#809473
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24297) - you deserved it (60029)

On 04/04/2009 at 11:40pm - misc - by Nikki (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I thought I heard my little sister playing on my brand new grand piano. Angry, I ran downstairs to stop her. My parents were having sex. On my piano. FML

#800425
335 comments

I agree, your life sucks (267606) - you deserved it (17485)

On 04/04/2009 at 2:15pm - intimacy - by GuitarChick42 (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my siblings came home for the weekend. At dinner, my dad started complaining at how one of my siblings had gotten fired, one was failing college, and the other was gay. He went on to say I was 17 and already had a bright future. I'm pregnant. FML

#792212
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41868) - you deserved it (48299)

On 04/03/2009 at 10:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got on an elevator with a woman and her child. I was the first one on. When she stepped on, the capacity alarm went off. As she left she told her daughter that's why fat people shouldn't be allowed in public. I'm 145 lbs. She was twice my size. I got called fat by a hippopotamus. FML

#721846
305 comments

I agree, your life sucks (159131) - you deserved it (9651)

On 03/31/2009 at 10:17am - health - by warp_routine (woman) - United States (Vermont)



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