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nativebacon

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nativebacon

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 4 March 1988 (26 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 38026
  • Number of comments : 96
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About nativebacon : I am a music education major at Southeast Missouri State University. I am incredibly passionate about opera, and I plan to get my masters in performance and my PhD in vocal pedagogy.

I am bisexual, and it's not a choice.

I do not believe in organized religion, but I try to respect other religions as much as possible (unless they're thrown in my face).

nativebacon's page activity

Visits<b>skiddymarker</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 6:07pm<b>hpoxx</b> - the 03/16/2014 at 10:46am<b>origamidragon</b> - the 02/12/2014 at 10:11pm<b>billionair11</b> - the 12/25/2013 at 10:22pm<b>damonD9711</b> - the 11/11/2013 at 2:52pm<b>emsnice240</b> - the 11/10/2013 at 5:59am<b>graceinsheepwear</b> - the 11/01/2013 at 2:08am<b>cryssycakesx3</b> - the 10/20/2013 at 2:55am<b>Mr_Bleepdabloop</b> - the 10/19/2013 at 10:13pm<b>Spartancjm</b> - the 09/16/2013 at 2:11am<b>Sockturtle</b> - the 09/13/2013 at 1:50pm<b>ThriceWritten</b> - the 09/03/2013 at 11:58pm<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 07/28/2013 at 1:23am<b>SkyGuy32</b> - the 05/06/2013 at 8:34am<b>jarrettd</b> - the 03/22/2013 at 5:40pm<b>Mornai</b> - the 04/02/2012 at 12:49pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:29pm<b>Imawulfy</b> - the 02/01/2011 at 10:55am

nativebacon's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

nativebacon's favorite FMLs

Today, I asked my girl friend of a year and a half to give me a blow job. She replied okay and bent down and blew on my penis. Then she looked up at me and said was that good. She was serious. FML

#909616
300 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67308) - you deserved it (19879)

On 04/11/2009 at 12:12am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, brand new cocktail dress: $300. Matching peep toe heels: $100. Getting my hair done at the salon: $80. Treating myself to a mani/pedi: $50. When finally meeting the guy I have been chatting online with for 2 months, I find out he's my cousin: priceless. FML

Today, my fiancé's parents visited. I keep chickens for their eggs, and his parents own a farm, so we had a connection. They told us to leave the house while they cooked us dinner. When we returned, we faced two steaming plates of chicken. My chickens. They had names. FML

#896114
412 comments

I agree, your life sucks (220360) - you deserved it (27654)

On 04/10/2009 at 1:11am - animals - by lanbon182 - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. The TV was on with the volume low, as we had been too preoccupied to turn it off. All of the sudden, my boyfriend stopped mid-thrust. He was watching the TV. House was on. My boyfriend stopped to watch the differential diagnosis. FML

#887533
293 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63035) - you deserved it (14074)

On 04/09/2009 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was bored at my job at Home Depot. I got a bar code tattoo 3 weeks ago and thought it would be funny to scan it. I'm a $5.98 160z claw hammer. FML

#881347
297 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38477) - you deserved it (129190)

On 04/09/2009 at 2:03am - work - by tool (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I went on a date with this girl I met online. The conversation drifted and we were talking about how we'd prefer to die, if we had a choice. I said, "I want to skydive over the ocean without a parachute." She said she wants to be made into a wallet. FML

#849037
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55218) - you deserved it (8870)

On 04/07/2009 at 3:08am - love - by no_leather_of_any_kind - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was ringing up a lady and her daughter at the shoe store I work at. The background on my nametag is a rainbow, and when the daughter saw it, she asked her mother why it was so. Her mother looks at my nametag, then me, then turns to her daughter and says "Because he hates God honey". FML

#827000
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64978) - you deserved it (4517)

On 04/05/2009 at 11:14pm - work - by maconda99 (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was riding my bike and stopped at a street light. A little girl looked at me, then asked her mother, "Mommy, why does that girl have a ring through her nose?" Her mother then replied, "Because her parents don't love her." FML

#818828
260 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64394) - you deserved it (17674)

On 04/05/2009 at 3:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was in IKEA, furniture shopping with my dad. He was looking at one couch that was particularly small. I said "dad that couch is for like a midget." I look over to see a midget looking at me, sitting on the same couch in a different color. He definitely heard me. FML

#809473
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25171) - you deserved it (61467)

On 04/04/2009 at 11:40pm - misc - by Nikki (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I thought I heard my little sister playing on my brand new grand piano. Angry, I ran downstairs to stop her. My parents were having sex. On my piano. FML

#800425
343 comments

I agree, your life sucks (282451) - you deserved it (19068)

On 04/04/2009 at 2:15pm - intimacy - by GuitarChick42 (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my siblings came home for the weekend. At dinner, my dad started complaining at how one of my siblings had gotten fired, one was failing college, and the other was gay. He went on to say I was 17 and already had a bright future. I'm pregnant. FML

#792212
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45454) - you deserved it (53920)

On 04/03/2009 at 10:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got on an elevator with a woman and her child. I was the first one on. When she stepped on, the capacity alarm went off. As she left she told her daughter that's why fat people shouldn't be allowed in public. I'm 145 lbs. She was twice my size. I got called fat by a hippopotamus. FML

#721846
311 comments

I agree, your life sucks (174692) - you deserved it (11740)

On 03/31/2009 at 10:17am - health - by warp_routine (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend in the food court at the mall. When she said "yes", the entire food court broke out in applause, and my girlfriend and I were escorted out of the mall for "starting a riot". I never knew clapping was a crime. FML

#677461
402 comments

I agree, your life sucks (101949) - you deserved it (22288)

On 03/29/2009 at 10:03am - love - by engaged (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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