nativebacon

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nativebacon

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 4 March 1988 (28 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 39380
  • Number of comments : 96
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About nativebacon : I am a music education major at Southeast Missouri State University. I am incredibly passionate about opera, and I plan to get my masters in performance and my PhD in vocal pedagogy.

I am bisexual, and it's not a choice.

I do not believe in organized religion, but I try to respect other religions as much as possible (unless they're thrown in my face).

nativebacon's page activity

Visits<b>BranTheCasualMan</b> - the 03/31/2016 at 10:23am<b>freyday</b> - the 03/10/2016 at 8:08pm<b>n_a_v_y</b> - the 02/20/2016 at 4:55am<b>shmoooopie</b> - the 10/22/2015 at 6:24pm<b>dnavarrette</b> - the 10/03/2015 at 2:45am<b>ackligtful</b> - the 09/06/2015 at 8:27pm<b>deathtopawn</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 3:05pm<b>cheesyfeet2001</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 12:45pm<b>InfinaDerp</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 7:34am<b>BaconForAll</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 1:04am<b>hpoxx</b> - the 03/16/2014 at 10:46am<b>billionair11</b> - the 12/25/2013 at 10:22pm<b>damonD9711</b> - the 11/11/2013 at 2:52pm<b>emsnice240</b> - the 11/10/2013 at 5:59am<b>graceinsheepwear</b> - the 11/01/2013 at 2:08am<b>cryssycakesx3</b> - the 10/20/2013 at 2:55am<b>Mr_Bleepdabloop</b> - the 10/19/2013 at 10:13pm<b>Spartancjm</b> - the 09/16/2013 at 2:11am

nativebacon's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

nativebacon's favorite FMLs

Today, I was performing in an orchestra concert. My stand partner and I commented on people in the audience the whole time, saying how fat they were, etc. Towards the end of the concert, I realized we were sitting right by a microphone, and the whole audience could hear us. FML

by anon / 06/04/2009 at 7:35am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, while walking down the street, a homeless man walked up to me. He opened his mouth to say something and I immediately said that I didn't have any spare change because I was late for work. He then said "I was gonna ask you for the time, dickwad". Apparently he wasn't homeless. FML

by NoNaMe / 06/04/2009 at 4:07am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was buying an expensive pillow for my mother from a store clerk who wouldn't stop staring at my boobs. After paying, I saw an elderly lady who had dropped a bag, so I walked to help. I walked back to the clerk, who refused to believe I paid. The reason? He didn't recognize my face. FML

by doubleds / 06/03/2009 at 3:39pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at a mall. A woman stopped by me, said slowly and loudly, in Spanish "baño?" Knowing a bit of Spanish, I nodded and pointed the restrooms out for her. She then mutters about "dang Mexicans and their inability to speak English". I'm not even Latina. I'm Irish-American. FML

by Anon / 05/26/2009 at 1:45pm / United Kingdom (Manchester) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was hanging out with a few of my friends, including an old ex-girlfriend and her current boyfriend of 5 years. When my ex, whose virginity I had taken years earlier, mentioned, "I had the iPhone first," without thinking, I immediately responded, "Well, I had YOU first." FML

by Takuma / 05/20/2009 at 1:10am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up. It was the best orgasm I'd ever had. The trouble was, it wasn't about a hot girl, or anything sexy. It was about bacon. FML

by wtfdreams / 05/17/2009 at 8:33am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, it's my birthday. I have gotten three calls all day. The first one was my fiancé, saying he wanted his ring back. The second one was my best friend, confessing to me that she had been sleeping with my fiancé for the past three months. The third was the dentist's office singing me a happy birthday. FML

by Anonymous / 05/14/2009 at 1:43pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was home on leave and having breakfast with my parents and my younger brothers. I guess I got too used to the rougher language around the Army barracks where I'm stationed. At the breakfast table I asked my Mom to "pass me the f***ing butter". FML

by Anonymous / 05/14/2009 at 1:13pm / United States (Maine) / Miscellaneous

Today, one of my three-year-old twin daughters asked, "Dad, can we get a cat?" I replied in a gentle dad voice, "No, honey, dad is allergic to cats. That means they make him sneeze and sniffle. So we can't get a cat. Sorry." After a slight pause, the other asked, "When you die can we get a cat?" FML

by TwinDad / 05/14/2009 at 11:24am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Kids

Today, I was at a family get together with distant relatives. My grandma made a point to say how all of the grandkids brought their boyfriends or girlfriends. She looks at me, then turns to everyone and says "But not our Becky! She is more interested in her cats right now than finding a man." FML

by Anonymous / 05/07/2009 at 11:38pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals

Today, I got industrial toilet cleaner in my eyes. Despite the raging fire party going on behind my eyelids, I resisted the urge to stop, drop, and roll, and calmly got in the shower to wash it off. Wherein I promptly slipped, fell, and whacked my head full-force on the bathtub on the way down. FML

by twoheadedboy / 05/06/2009 at 4:46pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, was my first meeting with business partners as I am new to the team. Instead of saying that I was looking forward to "stretching my legs" or "spreading my wings", I told them I was anxious to start "spreading my legs". FML

by Anonymous / 05/06/2009 at 2:04am / United States (Minnesota) / Work

Today, I found a box of birthday candles sitting on the coffee table. Bored, I lit one, and after a minute I threw it away and sat back down on the couch. I started looking at the box and noticed that it said "Magic Re-Lighting Candles" at the exact moment that my trash can burst into flames. FML

by Anonymous / 05/04/2009 at 4:28pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I noticed that someone smeared "wash me" into the grime of my car. I decided to take it to get a wash. I pulled up, put my vehicle in neutral, and kicked back as it slowly started to move. You never realize how long it takes a sun roof to close until water is dumping on your head. FML

by Anonymous / 05/03/2009 at 7:06am / United States (Oregon) / Transportation

Today, I had my first job interview and didn't have much of an appetite because of the nerves. So I grabbed a brownie that my roommate had left in the fridge and ate it on the train ride in to the city. About 20 minutes into my interview I was so stoned I couldn't speak. FML

by Dunzo15 / 05/02/2009 at 2:28am / United States (New York) / Work