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nativebacon

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nativebacon
  • Town/Country : St. Louis, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 4 March 1988 (26 years)
  • Number of visits : 37777
  • Number of comments : 96
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About nativebacon : I am a music education major at Southeast Missouri State University. I am incredibly passionate about opera, and I plan to get my masters in performance and my PhD in vocal pedagogy.

I am bisexual, and it's not a choice.

I do not believe in organized religion, but I try to respect other religions as much as possible (unless they're thrown in my face).

nativebacon's last visitors

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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

nativebacon's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at the mall in a store looking at movie posters. I turned around and suddenly saw a creepy guy smiling at me, holding his arms out wide. I screamed "holy shit!" really loudly, causing everyone to stop and stare at me funny. Then I realized the creepy man was a cardboard cutout. FML

#4981586
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11057) - you deserved it (38870)

On 09/01/2009 at 6:21pm - misc - by becca1417 (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I finished moving out of my apartment and decided to clean the fridge before I left. I pulled out a drawer that I never used and was shocked to find a moldy, rotten, decayed watermelon. I remembered that I had bought a watermelon the first week I moved into the apartment. Four years ago. FML

#4922753
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7089) - you deserved it (53498)

On 08/30/2009 at 2:29am - misc - by rydawg79 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was trying to have sex with my boyfriend, David. I moaned his name and he whispered, "I'm not David." Then, with an Italian accent, he said, "It's-a-me! Mario!" FML

#4882481
342 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60648) - you deserved it (15379)

On 08/28/2009 at 1:11pm - intimacy - by Michelle (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I found out my boyfriend of two years has children. Not one, not two, but three. Not with one, two, but three women. FML

#4876852
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44806) - you deserved it (4318)

On 08/28/2009 at 2:42am - misc - by helenablitz (woman) - United States (California)

Today, on the train on the way to my mother's house, I was playing Mariokart with my son. He got a 'bomb' item, and yelled quite loudly, "I have a bomb!". Panic ensued. We got thrown off the train at the next stop. FML

#4874486
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44367) - you deserved it (6022)

On 08/28/2009 at 12:41am - kids - by mariokarter (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my husband and I decided to take a romantic trip to the beach. We got pulled over, and shortly thereafter he was arrested. Just so happens you can't miss child support payments for your twelve year old daughter without getting a warrant. He has a daughter? We've been married for 14 years. FML

#4845223
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59321) - you deserved it (2888)

On 08/26/2009 at 8:57pm - misc - by AreYouSerious (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my boyfriend and his parents met my family. My grandpa thought it would be funny to walk around with a realistic gun and make references about being in the mafia. The rest of my family went along with it. FML

#4782445
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35204) - you deserved it (4629)

On 08/24/2009 at 11:35am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I posted a status update on Facebook about how much I liked the Season Finale of NBC's "Heroes". My hand slipped to the right and it came out as "I really love Herpes. It's much better than everyone says it is". I didn't notice for few hours. FML

#4774065
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18920) - you deserved it (35604)

On 08/24/2009 at 12:28am - misc - by NotThatKind (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my son hit my husband's shop-vac while pulling into the garage too fast. He was grounded for 3 days. Later, while trying to demonstrate how to park safely, I hit my husband in his happy sacks with the mirror. FML

#4764613
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6988) - you deserved it (32941)

On 08/23/2009 at 7:00pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I took a cute girl out to an arcade date, and mercilessly dominated her in every game there to the point she refused to talk to me afterwards. Gamer Pride:1 - Getting Laid:0. FML

#4673205
292 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7240) - you deserved it (73127)

On 08/20/2009 at 1:45am - love - by razgriz1 (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I found out that my parents are first cousins. FML

#4539697
319 comments

I agree, your life sucks (111577) - you deserved it (5465)

On 08/15/2009 at 12:33am - misc - by jellybean_94 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my grandma went to get birthday gifts for my twin sister and me. She returned with 2 shirts that read "I see you've met the twins" in big letters across the chest. She gave them to us and said, "Isn't this cute? 'cause you're twins!" I then had to explain to her what the shirt was actually referring to. FML

#4530948
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42341) - you deserved it (3357)

On 08/14/2009 at 5:57pm - misc - by twingirl (woman) - United States (Delaware)

Today, while having sex I realized two things. First, I can't remember the last time my boyfriend gave me an orgasm, and secondly I think the curtains slightly clash with the duvet cover. I was more annoyed with the second one. FML

#4527001
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42951) - you deserved it (9410)

On 08/14/2009 at 2:33pm - intimacy - by vicgal - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my mom was gifted with a toiletry basket. I grabbed the lotion and used it without asking. When I went out, it began raining hard. I got wet and noticed my skin got very sticky. Turns out the lotion was actually body wash. People were wondering why soap bubbles were coming from my skin. FML

#4499935
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6129) - you deserved it (53255)

On 08/13/2009 at 12:07pm - misc - by soapgirl (woman) - Philippines (Pampanga)



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