nativebacon

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nativebacon

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 4 March 1988 (28 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 39712
  • Number of comments : 96
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About nativebacon : I am a music education major at Southeast Missouri State University. I am incredibly passionate about opera, and I plan to get my masters in performance and my PhD in vocal pedagogy.

I am bisexual, and it's not a choice.

I do not believe in organized religion, but I try to respect other religions as much as possible (unless they're thrown in my face).

nativebacon's page activity

Visits<b>BranTheCasualMan</b> - the 03/31/2016 at 10:23am<b>freyday</b> - the 03/10/2016 at 8:08pm<b>n_a_v_y</b> - the 02/20/2016 at 4:55am<b>shmoooopie</b> - the 10/22/2015 at 6:24pm<b>dnavarrette</b> - the 10/03/2015 at 2:45am<b>ackligtful</b> - the 09/06/2015 at 8:27pm<b>deathtopawn</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 3:05pm<b>cheesyfeet2001</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 12:45pm<b>InfinaDerp</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 7:34am<b>BaconForAll</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 1:04am<b>hpoxx</b> - the 03/16/2014 at 10:46am<b>billionair11</b> - the 12/25/2013 at 10:22pm<b>damonD9711</b> - the 11/11/2013 at 2:52pm<b>emsnice240</b> - the 11/10/2013 at 5:59am<b>graceinsheepwear</b> - the 11/01/2013 at 2:08am<b>cryssycakesx3</b> - the 10/20/2013 at 2:55am<b>Mr_Bleepdabloop</b> - the 10/19/2013 at 10:13pm<b>Spartancjm</b> - the 09/16/2013 at 2:11am

nativebacon's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

nativebacon's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me by sending me a Bumper Sticker on Facebook that said "Bitch, let's get married". FML

by mylifesucks / 08/30/2009 at 12:40pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, I finished moving out of my apartment and decided to clean the fridge before I left. I pulled out a drawer that I never used and was shocked to find a moldy, rotten, decayed watermelon. I remembered that I had bought a watermelon the first week I moved into the apartment. Four years ago. FML

by rydawg79 / 08/30/2009 at 2:29am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was trying to have sex with my boyfriend, David. I moaned his name and he whispered, "I'm not David." Then, with an Italian accent, he said, "It's-a-me! Mario!" FML

by Michelle / 08/28/2009 at 1:11pm / United States (Maine) / Intimacy

Today, I found out my boyfriend of two years has children. Not one, not two, but three. Not with one, two, but three women. FML

by helenablitz / 08/28/2009 at 2:42am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, on the train on the way to my mother's house, I was playing Mariokart with my son. He got a 'bomb' item, and yelled quite loudly, "I have a bomb!". Panic ensued. We got thrown off the train at the next stop. FML

by mariokarter / 08/28/2009 at 12:41am / United Kingdom (London) / Transportation

Today, my husband and I decided to take a romantic trip to the beach. We got pulled over, and shortly thereafter he was arrested. Just so happens you can't miss child support payments for your twelve year old daughter without getting a warrant. He has a daughter? We've been married for 14 years. FML

by AreYouSerious / 08/26/2009 at 8:57pm / United States (Oregon) / Holidays

Today, my boyfriend and his parents met my family. My grandpa thought it would be funny to walk around with a realistic gun and make references about being in the mafia. The rest of my family went along with it. FML

by Anonymous / 08/24/2009 at 11:35am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I posted a status update on Facebook about how much I liked the Season Finale of NBC's "Heroes". My hand slipped to the right and it came out as "I really love Herpes. It's much better than everyone says it is". I didn't notice for few hours. FML

by NotThatKind / 08/24/2009 at 12:28am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, my son hit my husband's shop-vac while pulling into the garage too fast. He was grounded for 3 days. Later, while trying to demonstrate how to park safely, I hit my husband in his happy sacks with the mirror. FML

by Anonymous / 08/23/2009 at 7:00pm / United States (Illinois) / Transportation

Today, I took a cute girl out to an arcade date, and mercilessly dominated her in every game there, to the point she refused to talk to me afterwards. Gamer Pride: 1 - Getting Laid: 0. FML

by razgriz1 / 08/20/2009 at 1:45am / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, I found out that my parents are first cousins. FML

by jellybean_94 / 08/15/2009 at 12:33am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, my grandma went to get birthday gifts for my twin sister and me. She returned with 2 shirts that read "I see you've met the twins" in big letters across the chest. She gave them to us and said, "Isn't this cute? 'cause you're twins!" I then had to explain to her what the shirt was actually referring to. FML

by twingirl / 08/14/2009 at 5:57pm / United States (Delaware) / Miscellaneous

Today, while having sex I realized two things. First, I can't remember the last time my boyfriend gave me an orgasm, and secondly I think the curtains slightly clash with the duvet cover. I was more annoyed with the second one. FML

by vicgal / 08/14/2009 at 2:33pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, my mom was gifted with a toiletry basket. I grabbed the lotion and used it without asking. When I went out, it began raining hard. I got wet and noticed my skin got very sticky. Turns out the lotion was actually body wash. People were wondering why soap bubbles were coming from my skin. FML

by soapgirl / 08/13/2009 at 12:07pm / Philippines (Pampanga) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that doctors can be wrong. Pink clothes, pink stroller, pink bottles, pink bibs, pink cribs and pink bedding to go with my baby that recently came out with a little pink penis. FML

by Ouch / 08/12/2009 at 7:36pm / United States (Ohio) / Kids