nativebacon

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nativebacon

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 4 March 1988 (28 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 39871
  • Number of comments : 96
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About nativebacon : I am a music education major at Southeast Missouri State University. I am incredibly passionate about opera, and I plan to get my masters in performance and my PhD in vocal pedagogy.

I am bisexual, and it's not a choice.

I do not believe in organized religion, but I try to respect other religions as much as possible (unless they're thrown in my face).

nativebacon's page activity

Visits<b>BranTheCasualMan</b> - the 03/31/2016 at 10:23am<b>freyday</b> - the 03/10/2016 at 8:08pm<b>n_a_v_y</b> - the 02/20/2016 at 4:55am<b>shmoooopie</b> - the 10/22/2015 at 6:24pm<b>dnavarrette</b> - the 10/03/2015 at 2:45am<b>ackligtful</b> - the 09/06/2015 at 8:27pm<b>deathtopawn</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 3:05pm<b>cheesyfeet2001</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 12:45pm<b>InfinaDerp</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 7:34am<b>BaconForAll</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 1:04am<b>hpoxx</b> - the 03/16/2014 at 10:46am<b>billionair11</b> - the 12/25/2013 at 10:22pm<b>damonD9711</b> - the 11/11/2013 at 2:52pm<b>emsnice240</b> - the 11/10/2013 at 5:59am<b>graceinsheepwear</b> - the 11/01/2013 at 2:08am<b>cryssycakesx3</b> - the 10/20/2013 at 2:55am<b>Mr_Bleepdabloop</b> - the 10/19/2013 at 10:13pm<b>Spartancjm</b> - the 09/16/2013 at 2:11am

nativebacon's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

nativebacon's favorite FMLs

Today, my parents were having a Christmas party. They went out to get the vodka in our garage fridge, only to find most of it was frozen. Knowing vodka doesn't freeze, they soon realized that I had been taking some and refilling it with water over the past two months. FML

by Sean / 12/24/2009 at 7:36pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I had one more gift to buy: a copy of Fight Club. I asked a person working at Best Buy if they had any in stock. The man wouldn't sell me the last copy because I had broken the first two rules. FML

by Anonymous / 12/24/2009 at 3:10pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was about to propose. I got on my knee in front of my girlfriend and opened the box. My friend thought it would be funny to replace the ring with a condom. FML

by Catholicguy / 12/20/2009 at 3:14am / United States (California) / Love

Today, a spider crawled across my glasses' lens. My first reaction was to smack myself in the face. FML

by ohmy / 12/17/2009 at 2:09pm / Canada / Animals

Today, I set up a miniature nativity scene in my apartment. Three hours ago, my dog decided it would be a good idea to eat baby Jesus. Two hours ago, the vet laughed and said not to worry because I would 'have him back in time for Christmas'. FML

by gettingacat / 12/17/2009 at 9:32am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I was attending a drug-free lecture at school. The speaker said, "There are many ways to quit smoking. You can try patches, gum, or even quitting cold turkey. Any questions?" I raised my hand, and she called on me. I asked, "How does cold turkey help?" And then I realized. FML

by Anonymous / 12/09/2009 at 7:53pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, I realized that our generation will be remembered as the kids who liked sparkly vampires. FML

by buhknee / 11/24/2009 at 7:08pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I learned explosive diarrhea is real. I felt it coming and dashed into our supermarket. 10 feet in, liquid poo started spewing down my pants legs. 150 feet to go. I ran. It ran. They watched. After 15 minutes of cleaning, I slunk out. Now, I have to find a new market, maybe a new town. FML

by Anonymous / 11/24/2009 at 6:44am / United States (Alabama) / Health

Today, whilst singing at school in front of 300 visiting primary school children I forgot the second verse to my song and let out an F*** word with the microphone still up to my face. FML

by fail / 11/19/2009 at 1:10am / Australia (New South Wales) / Kids

Today, I learned that if you stare at your cat and her eyes suddenly get really big, it means she's going to maul your face. FML

by nycplywood / 11/18/2009 at 4:01pm / United States (Minnesota) / Animals

Today, I found out I will not be getting my class ring. The jeweler has a policy against doing engravings that contain "obscene or offensive language or phrases". What obscene phrase did I want? My initials and year. W.T.F. 2010. FML

by Grad2010 / 11/18/2009 at 2:41pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at a party where I ate a bowl of disgusting snacks because I didn't want to drink on an empty stomach. I spent the next twelve hours trying to prevent the world from collapsing into millions of demonic shards, cause apparently that's what a large dose of magic mushrooms does. FML

by swedishdude / 11/14/2009 at 8:37am / Sweden (Skane Lan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the movies. Not only did the movie end up being awful, but I came to my car to find out someone drew Squidward from "SpongeBob" with large letters spelling "I LIKE POTATOES!" on my windshield. In permanent marker. FML

by squidwardpotatoes / 11/14/2009 at 6:08am / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, a Milkbone commercial came on TV. At the end of it, they whistle and throw a Milkbone across the screen, prompting my 100lb German Shepherd to leap off the couch and run head on into my new plasma screen TV. FML

by doglover / 11/03/2009 at 1:11pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I discovered that when you're the maid of honor giving a toast at your best friend's wedding, it's important to make sure the zipper on your dress is secured. Otherwise, your bare breasts and Hello Kitty panties could end up exposed to a wedding party of 600 people. FML

by meg265 / 10/24/2009 at 12:11pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous