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narrowords's favorite FMLs
Today, I was on a plane. When my flight attendant brought me my drink, it had a lid and a straw. He told me, very seriously, "not to spill." No one else got a lid. I'm 18, and apparently I look spill-prone. FML
by thisisme / 01/16/2011 at 8:37pm / Canada (Ontario) / Transportation
by Anonymous / 01/12/2011 at 11:05pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Animals
by Anonymous / 01/12/2011 at 9:26pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
Today, I fed my cats their usual dinner of canned cat food. Without thinking, I put the spoon I had used for their food into my mouth so I could use both hands to rinse the can before recycling it. FML
by Anonymous / 01/09/2011 at 10:18pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Animals
Today, I took my daughter to the library instead of the pool. I sat her on the counter and, while I reached for my library card, she turned to the librarian and said "We didn't go to the pool today because Mum has hairy legs." FML
by Anonymous / 01/04/2011 at 3:05am / Australia (New South Wales) / Kids
Today, while changing my clothes, my 3 year old daughter informed me that I looked like a zebra. Noticing my shocked face, she tried comforting me by telling me I was a pretty zebra because I was a purple zebra. She was talking about my stretch marks. FML
by jenabp / 01/03/2011 at 1:56pm / United States (Arizona) / Kids
by Anonymous / 12/27/2010 at 12:11pm / United Kingdom (Derbyshire) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 12/22/2010 at 3:01am / United States (Oregon) / Love
Today, after an argument with a coworker, I sent him "Sorry about being such a jerk" in a reply to a mass email he had sent. I accidentally hit 'Reply All'. I now have 32 "It's okay" messages in my inbox. FML
by Anonymous / 12/20/2010 at 5:26pm / United States (Georgia) / Work
Today, while on my honeymoon with my new wife, I tried to be romantic by installing a clapper to the lights in our room. As things progressed, the noise of our love making triggered the lights on and off repeatedly. She began to laugh and we ended up just calling it an early night. FML
by Anonymous / 12/17/2010 at 12:08pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy
Today, my toddler stood up in a shopping cart and fell, giving himself a black eye. Later, while at a restaurant, he tried to stand up in his high-chair. I quickly blurted out, "Sit down! Do you want another one of those?" while pointing at his eye. The waiter wouldn’t stop glaring at me. FML
by Anonymous / 12/15/2010 at 12:42am / United States (Nevada) / Kids
by uglywoman / 12/14/2010 at 3:21am / Australia (Queensland) / Kids
Today, I was sitting in a parked car. A woman was having difficulties maneuvering out. She honked the horn repeatedly for me to move, then looked me in the eye and called me a "f**king bitch", before driving off. I was in the passenger seat. FML
by agstadra / 12/08/2010 at 10:24am / Canada / Transportation
Today, I managed to not think too much about how alone I feel living in a strange city, and I went out to find a quiet place to write and eat. After I ordered my meal, I saw that I was the only diner that was sitting alone at a table. Then 'All By Myself' came on the radio. FML
by Anonymous / 11/30/2010 at 9:29pm / Italy / Miscellaneous
by wow / 11/25/2010 at 2:32am / United Kingdom (West Sussex) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…