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narrowords

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narrowords

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  • Title : Miss
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  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2328
  • Number of comments : 104
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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narrowords's favorite FMLs

Today, I was out shopping. It was fine until my dental crossbow broke as I was laughing. The springs locked, and I couldn't close my mouth. The orthodontist couldn't see me for two hours, leaving me to walk around town with my mouth hanging open like a psychopath. FML

Today, my 4 year old daughter walked in while I was changing my shirt. She said "When I get older I am going to have big boobies just like you." I'm her dad. FML

#15896791
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32559) - you deserved it (22903)

On 04/23/2011 at 11:20am - kids - by parentof5 (man) - United States

Today, I picked up on a telemarketer and started speaking in Portuguese. It turns out that this particular telemarketer spoke it as well. Every time I hung up, he called back. Telemarketers get really excited when they find out someone else speaks their language. FML

#15853054
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29801) - you deserved it (9564)

On 04/19/2011 at 11:05pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, while enjoying a nice dinner out, I observed a homeless man giggling hysterically to himself while wiping boogers on my bike seat and handlebars. FML

#15844059
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31193) - you deserved it (3315)

On 04/19/2011 at 4:23am - misc - by BerkeleyBiker (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my 5 week old puppy decided to sleep between my head and the headboard of my bed. I sneezed and my puppy got so scared it caused him to pee on me. FML

#15833308
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30904) - you deserved it (7907)

On 04/18/2011 at 12:10pm - misc - by Wendie - United States (California)

Today, I walked into a room, where a guy was violently picking his nose. He kept picking. A very pretty girl walked in after me, and he immediately stopped and sat up straight. Apparently, I'm too ugly to motivate strangers to stop excavating their nasal cavities. FML

#15546142
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32258) - you deserved it (4874)

On 03/29/2011 at 1:12pm - misc - by uggo - United States

Today, I cleaned up my dog's crap after my wife asked me. 5 minutes later she yelled at me for being lazy as she slammed the door leaving for work. My dog shit in the exact same spot apparently to make me look stupid. FML

#14952962
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32659) - you deserved it (3183)

On 02/12/2011 at 9:17pm - animals - by Username - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was walking in the park with my boyfriend of 3 years. He stopped and knelt down in front of me. I started to panic, then he told me to calm down, my shoe was untied. FML

#14908871
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29314) - you deserved it (11879)

On 02/09/2011 at 12:48pm - misc - by maddie! - United States (New York)

Today, at work, whilst on hold to an important client, I said to my co-workers "F*cking hell, this woman sounds high as a kite". I heard a cough on the other end of the phone. All calls are recorded. FML

#14729337
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5958) - you deserved it (34792)

On 01/27/2011 at 6:20am - work - by GHTD (man) - United Kingdom (Solihull)

Today, I got my phone fixed and the lady who was working on it somehow resent all the old text messages in my outbox. One was to my ex saying "I love you." FML

#14725395
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28561) - you deserved it (3661)

On 01/26/2011 at 9:53pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I was driving to a blind date my friend set me up on. Feeling pretty excited, I started singing to Katy Perry. I look over to see a man laughing at me, I flipped him the bird and drove off. Little did I know, he was my date. FML

#14695021
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11728) - you deserved it (32402)

On 01/24/2011 at 3:08am - love - by unknown - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend tickled me. In between laughs, I warned him that I was going to pee myself. He didn't believe me. After I actually did, he suggested we use a "safety word" from now on so that he will know when I'm being serious. FML

#14691399
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25267) - you deserved it (4226)

On 01/23/2011 at 9:47pm - misc - by embarrassed2 (woman) - United States

Today, my extremely superstitious girlfriend called me and said she couldn't make it to the date I had planned tonight. Her reason? "I sense something horrible is going to happen." I was planning to propose. FML

#14653951
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40318) - you deserved it (3404)

On 01/20/2011 at 8:15pm - love - by fianceeless (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was on a plane. When my flight attendant brought me my drink, it had a lid and a straw. He told me, very seriously, "not to spill." No one else got a lid. I'm 18, and apparently I look spill-prone. FML

#14604912
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22271) - you deserved it (2968)

On 01/16/2011 at 8:37pm - misc - by thisisme (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my parrot won't stop repeating my boyfriend's name. The problem is we broke up days ago and my parrot won't shut up. FML

#14560374
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25792) - you deserved it (4407)

On 01/12/2011 at 11:05pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)



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