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Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Today, I walked into a room, where a guy was violently picking his nose. He kept picking. A very pretty girl walked in after me, and he immediately stopped and sat up straight. Apparently, I'm too ugly to motivate strangers to stop excavating their nasal cavities. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26726) - you deserved it (3839)
On 03/29/2011 at 1:12pm - misc - by uggo - United States
Today, I cleaned up my dog's crap after my wife asked me. 5 minutes later she yelled at me for being lazy as she slammed the door leaving for work. My dog shit in the exact same spot apparently to make me look stupid. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27097) - you deserved it (2441)
On 02/12/2011 at 9:17pm - animals - by Username - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I was walking in the park with my boyfriend of 3 years. He stopped and knelt down in front of me. I started to panic, then he told me to calm down, my shoe was untied. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24176) - you deserved it (9533)
On 02/09/2011 at 12:48pm - misc - by maddie! - United States (New York)
Today, at work, whilst on hold to an important client, I said to my co-workers "F*cking hell, this woman sounds high as a kite". I heard a cough on the other end of the phone. All calls are recorded. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4472) - you deserved it (25351)
On 01/27/2011 at 6:20am - work - by GHTD (man) - United Kingdom (Solihull)
Today, I got my phone fixed and the lady who was working on it somehow resent all the old text messages in my outbox. One was to my ex saying "I love you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22944) - you deserved it (2822)
On 01/26/2011 at 9:53pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (South Carolina)
Today, I was driving to a blind date my friend set me up on. Feeling pretty excited, I started singing to Katy Perry. I look over to see a man laughing at me, I flipped him the bird and drove off. Little did I know, he was my date. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9387) - you deserved it (27845)
On 01/24/2011 at 3:08am - love - by unknown - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend tickled me. In between laughs, I warned him that I was going to pee myself. He didn't believe me. After I actually did, he suggested we use a "safety word" from now on so that he will know when I'm being serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19613) - you deserved it (3260)
On 01/23/2011 at 9:47pm - misc - by embarrassed2 (woman) - United States
Today, my extremely superstitious girlfriend called me and said she couldn't make it to the date I had planned tonight. Her reason? "I sense something horrible is going to happen." I was planning to propose. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34803) - you deserved it (3000)
On 01/20/2011 at 8:15pm - love - by fianceeless (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was on a plane. When my flight attendant brought me my drink, it had a lid and a straw. He told me, very seriously, "not to spill." No one else got a lid. I'm 18, and apparently I look spill-prone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16677) - you deserved it (2160)
On 01/16/2011 at 8:37pm - misc - by thisisme (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my parrot won't stop repeating my boyfriend's name. The problem is we broke up days ago and my parrot won't shut up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20174) - you deserved it (3462)
On 01/12/2011 at 11:05pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my boyfriend met my dad for the first time. The first thing my dad said to him was "So, how low have you kissed?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (24786) - you deserved it (2945)
On 01/12/2011 at 9:26pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I fed my cats their usual dinner of canned cat food. Without thinking, I put the spoon I had used for their food into my mouth so I could use both hands to rinse the can before recycling it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8411) - you deserved it (20187)
On 01/09/2011 at 10:18pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, I took my daughter to the library instead of the pool. I sat her on the counter and, while I reached for my library card, she turned to the librarian and said "We didn't go to the pool today because Mum has hairy legs." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18903) - you deserved it (9023)
On 01/04/2011 at 3:05am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, while changing my clothes, my 3 year old daughter informed me that I looked like a zebra. Noticing my shocked face, she tried comforting me by telling me I was a pretty zebra because I was a purple zebra. She was talking about my stretch marks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24290) - you deserved it (3057)
On 01/03/2011 at 1:56pm - kids - by jenabp - United States (Arizona)
Today, I found out apparently I sleep walk. My boyfriend has been filming me and uploading it all to Youtube. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20666) - you deserved it (3171)
On 12/27/2010 at 12:11pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Derbyshire)
Monday 20 May 2013
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