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Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Today, my boss called me into his office. Expecting a long overdue promotion, I hurried in. Instead, he told me he thought I would be perfect to take his son on a pity date, because he is at a suicide risk from depression. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27673) - you deserved it (2666)
On 05/25/2011 at 1:21am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada
Today, I went on a blind date at a fancy restaurant. My date was running a bit late, so I went ahead and got a table. I got bored, so I decided to ask my waiter how I looked. He stood there, then said that "it's against company policy to mock customers to their face." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29929) - you deserved it (5863)
On 05/24/2011 at 9:59am - misc - by BurnedByAWaiter -
Today, my boss ate a small piece of paper off her desk, thinking it was frosting. I have to work for this woman. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21778) - you deserved it (2574)
On 05/24/2011 at 12:38am - work - by Anonymous -
Today, I went on a blind date. When I got there, I found out that the guy was a ventriloquist and was going to use his puppet to talk to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30342) - you deserved it (3752)
On 05/22/2011 at 1:35am - love - by severedface (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I woke up to a mosquito feeding on my morning wood; probably the only thing that will ever suck my penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51248) - you deserved it (7803)
On 05/21/2011 at 5:07am - intimacy - by no one - United States (Alaska)
Today, I took my 6 year old son to meet our new neighbours. When we got home he packed his bags and headed for the door. Once he reached the door, I asked where he was going. He replied, "To the neighbours'. They have a bigger television." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19893) - you deserved it (3352)
On 05/19/2011 at 7:05pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)
Today, I started petting my cousin's Doberman. Now, whenever I stop he growls menacingly. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23644) - you deserved it (4410)
On 05/14/2011 at 1:44am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Louisiana)
Today, I was sitting on the bus following a harrowing breakup. A boy of no more than 6 looked at me full of compassion and said, "Are you crying because you're ugly?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (36903) - you deserved it (4226) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 05/10/2011 at 10:56am - kids - by Hahapasdroleleptit - France
Today, while being robbed, a man heroically chased down the robber and got my purse back. He then looked at the distance between us, turned the other way and ran off with it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38544) - you deserved it (2564)
On 04/29/2011 at 2:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my drunk dad started yelling at my dog for not having a job. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39217) - you deserved it (4362)
On 04/28/2011 at 11:53am - animals - by Cecilly2010 -
Today, I was out shopping. It was fine until my dental crossbow broke as I was laughing. The springs locked, and I couldn't close my mouth. The orthodontist couldn't see me for two hours, leaving me to walk around town with my mouth hanging open like a psychopath. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28201) - you deserved it (2459)
On 04/26/2011 at 3:19pm - misc - by rockyrocket (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)
Today, my 4 year old daughter walked in while I was changing my shirt. She said "When I get older I am going to have big boobies just like you." I'm her dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27309) - you deserved it (18359)
On 04/23/2011 at 11:20am - kids - by parentof5 (man) - United States
Today, I picked up on a telemarketer and started speaking in Portuguese. It turns out that this particular telemarketer spoke it as well. Every time I hung up, he called back. Telemarketers get really excited when they find out someone else speaks their language. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24967) - you deserved it (8814)
On 04/19/2011 at 11:05pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, while enjoying a nice dinner out, I observed a homeless man giggling hysterically to himself while wiping boogers on my bike seat and handlebars. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26006) - you deserved it (2524)
On 04/19/2011 at 4:23am - misc - by BerkeleyBiker (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my 5 week old puppy decided to sleep between my head and the headboard of my bed. I sneezed and my puppy got so scared it caused him to pee on me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25218) - you deserved it (6278)
On 04/18/2011 at 12:10pm - misc - by Wendie - United States (California)
Monday 20 May 2013
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