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narrowords

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narrowords
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  • Number of visits : 1517
  • Number of comments : 104
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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narrowords's favorite FMLs

Today, on the bus, a delusional old man had an extremely long conversation with me, referring to me as "Leslie" and talking about "our childhood together". Not wanting to hurt his feelings I played along. At his stop he got up and grinned at me, saying "I'm kidding. I never knew a Leslie in my life. Nice rack." FML

#16860650
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37576) - you deserved it (15282)

On 06/26/2011 at 2:12am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, I got mugged. As the guys who took my purse were about to walk away, my cellphone rang in my pocket. FML

#16812585
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34911) - you deserved it (2671)

On 06/23/2011 at 4:54am - money - by alo1434 (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my husband asked me to come see his turd. After saying no, he said, "What kind of wife are you?" FML

#16687170
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30504) - you deserved it (8869)

On 06/15/2011 at 11:53pm - misc - by randomjulz - United States

Today, my friend sent me an online money transfer. After forgetting the password and locking myself out of my account, I had to phone up the bank and have it reset. I was prompted to answer the security question, which was "What, what?" I had to say "In the butt." to get my money. FML

#16661334
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11504) - you deserved it (55301)

On 06/14/2011 at 1:57pm - money - by notinthebutt (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was eating Star Wars gummy candies and I bit R2-D2 in half. My girlfriend looked at it and said "Oh look, now he's R1-D1". It was super cute, but I couldn't help thinking, "That's not how the numbering system works for droids." FML

#16657656
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12516) - you deserved it (45855)

On 06/14/2011 at 6:04am - misc - by techiefIve (man) - United States (California)

Today, after I successfully blew up a really large balloon, my mom said, in front of my older brother's friends, "Wow, you're going to make some man really happy one day!" FML

#16510202
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37609) - you deserved it (7868)

On 06/05/2011 at 2:48am - intimacy - by e_edge (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, at my job as a lifeguard, the kids in the pool decided to start a new game. The game involved spreading out to different parts of the pool and pretending to be drowning at the same time. Whoever was "saved" first, won. FML

#16494046
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41977) - you deserved it (3131)

On 06/04/2011 at 2:15am - work - by zain - United States (Texas)

Today, my boss called me to his office, and played back a recording of me telling a co-worker that if I still worked there in a year, I would hang myself. He then bitched me out for unprofessional conduct. The taped conversation took place over a year ago, with my recently ex-boyfriend. FML

#16487802
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22915) - you deserved it (6571)

On 06/03/2011 at 7:23pm - work - by janice - United States

Today, I received a phone call from my old boss asking me why I wasn't at work, to which I responded, "Because you fired me yesterday". He didn't say anything, and hung up. FML

#16480266
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31533) - you deserved it (2254)

On 06/03/2011 at 5:57am - work - by xmeatballx21 - United States (South Dakota)

Today, I was shopping for clothes. I thought this guy was a mannequin because he was standing perfectly still. I poked him and he screamed like a girl. FML

#16464729
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12716) - you deserved it (30605)

On 06/02/2011 at 6:05am - misc - by ohcrap - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my girlfriend told me how she loves when I kiss her out of the blue. I don't have the heart to admit I only do it so I can get some peace and quiet for a few seconds. FML

#16429286
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15346) - you deserved it (32356)

On 05/31/2011 at 12:51am - love - by romantic84 (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend admitted that he pees on the toilet seat just to piss me off. FML

#16414850
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35572) - you deserved it (7954)

On 05/30/2011 at 8:18am - misc - by Miramichi - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, my girlfriend and I were taking a shower together. We were fooling around when she takes the shower head and starts spraying my penis with it. I asked her "what are you doing?" Her response: "I'm watering it to make it grow." FML

#16399874
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53267) - you deserved it (9956)

On 05/29/2011 at 10:04am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, both of the roads leading to my small town were washed out by rising flood waters. I now live on an island in the middle of Wyoming. FML

#16357497
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30955) - you deserved it (2918)

On 05/26/2011 at 1:54pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Wyoming)

Today, it was my birthday. Some 17 year olds will receive cars as presents from their parents. Mine, however, booked me a plot in the local graveyard. FML

#16342840
309 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43118) - you deserved it (4595)

On 05/25/2011 at 1:44pm - misc - by Brilliant... (woman) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)



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