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Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Today, I was sitting in the hospital waiting area. An old lady was crying, and my five year old daughter asked her, "Are you okay?" The woman quietly nodded, prompting my daughter to scream at the top of her lungs, "Well shut up then!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (28541) - you deserved it (8923)
On 08/06/2011 at 9:40pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I realized that as a U.S. Marine in the infantry, I'm more afraid to talk to girls than I am of getting shot at. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34280) - you deserved it (4135)
On 08/03/2011 at 3:40am - love - by Tim - United States
Today, I was arrested. The policeman threw me to the ground because I wouldn't answer his questions. This was after he told me I had the "right to remain silent". FML
I agree, your life sucks (30433) - you deserved it (6686)
On 07/23/2011 at 6:29am - misc - by tgd4444 (man) - Malaysia (Johor)
Today, already knowing that my girlfriend wanted to be "just friends", I invited her over, hoping to change her mind. She was playfully drawing on me with a pen when I noticed she'd written "Emily's property" on my leg. I said "Aw, I'm yours?" She then drew a for-sale sign on me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31052) - you deserved it (8235)
On 07/20/2011 at 12:38pm - love - by John (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I found out my boyfriend has checked every girl he has ever slept with for 'vagina teeth'. I'm apparently no exception. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29461) - you deserved it (3987)
On 07/20/2011 at 12:40am - intimacy - by knolan - United States
Today, my boyfriend wanted me to meet the girl he has been cheating on me with. He thinks it makes the cheating more understandable if I see how 'hot' she is. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52675) - you deserved it (4293)
On 07/18/2011 at 4:21pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she thought I was cheating on her. With my own sister. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37346) - you deserved it (2928)
On 07/17/2011 at 8:04pm - intimacy - by Cinnamon (man) - Jamaica (Saint Andrew)
Today, in front of family and friends, as I got down on one knee, my girlfriend fainted. Her father, a lawyer, rushed over and said, "Anything she says for the next 72 hours is not legally binding" and whisked her away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32389) - you deserved it (2007)
On 07/17/2011 at 8:34am - love - by bigjohn106 - United States (Maryland)
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me using the "it's not you, it's me" speech with a slight variation, saying instead, "It's not me, it's you. And yes, I meant to say it that way round." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22852) - you deserved it (4229)
On 07/12/2011 at 3:14am - love - by Jackie Campbell - United States (Colorado)
Today, I had diarrhea at work. While trying to be subtle about the noises, the woman in the stall next to me called me by name and asked if I was having trouble. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25643) - you deserved it (1949)
On 07/11/2011 at 1:42pm - work - by Username - United States
Today, my sister confessed to me that she sold some of my old shirts to the girl who's stalking me. This explains why I got a note that read, "I have your scent, now I can track you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (34716) - you deserved it (1941)
On 07/03/2011 at 8:27pm - misc - by beablue18 - Germany (Rheinland-Pfalz)
Today, the driver's side window of my car was busted, and inside was a note that said, "Sorry, thought this was my car." FML
I agree, your life sucks (27258) - you deserved it (1532)
On 07/01/2011 at 4:31am - misc - by Rick - United States (California)
Today, on the bus, a delusional old man had an extremely long conversation with me, referring to me as "Leslie" and talking about "our childhood together". Not wanting to hurt his feelings I played along. At his stop he got up and grinned at me, saying "I'm kidding. I never knew a Leslie in my life. Nice rack." FML
I agree, your life sucks (32657) - you deserved it (11850)
On 06/26/2011 at 2:12am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)
Today, I got mugged. As the guys who took my purse were about to walk away, my cellphone rang in my pocket. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32185) - you deserved it (2125)
On 06/23/2011 at 4:54am - money - by alo1434 (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my husband asked me to come see his turd. After saying no, he said, "What kind of wife are you?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (27333) - you deserved it (7186)
On 06/15/2011 at 11:53pm - misc - by randomjulz - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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