nachoriffic

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Offline (the 04/04/2015 at 9:06pm)

nachoriffic

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 9 March 1993 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1075
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About nachoriffic : Smile!!!!

nachoriffic's page activity

Visits<b>FabChick14</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 11:54pm<b>iBeCareless</b> - the 02/04/2013 at 12:11am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:42pm

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nachoriffic's favorite FMLs

Today, I was giving my boyfriend road head. He closed his eyes when he came, and crashed into a pole. I have whiplash, and a very very angry father. FML

by Anonymous / 10/04/2010 at 8:47pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, I came home to my wife crying. She had mixed up our newborn twin girls and couldn't tell which was which. I looked at the girls. Neither could I. FML

by uselessdad / 09/07/2010 at 7:48pm / Singapore / Kids

Today, my mother continued her lifelong habit of talking to anyone who isn't white in extremely slow, exaggerated "caveman" English. She insists that she isn't being racist, but rather is helping. FML

by notmuchfun / 07/20/2010 at 5:17pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got bitch-slapped by a walrus at Sea Life Park. FML

by Betchsadface / 07/13/2010 at 12:34am / United States / Animals

Today, I lost my phone. I tried to call it using my husband's phone, but couldn't figure out which of the three Kates in the contact list was me. Turns out, two are co-workers and one is his aunt. I was listed under Satan. FML

by Satan / 03/15/2010 at 7:22pm / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, after having been a vegetarian for 8 years because I'm opposed to cruelty to animals, I lost a bet and had to eat a whole cheeseburger. I loved it. FML

by Anonymous / 01/29/2010 at 2:25am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, at a bar, a woman approched me and tried to set me up with her friend. Looking around, the only people in the bar were a man reading the paper and a very ugly woman, looking at me and smiling. I worriedly replied, "I'm sorry, but I'm gay." Turns out her friend was the one reading the paper. FML

by awkward23 / 01/12/2010 at 5:26am / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, I went to the DMV to renew my license. When I gave the woman behind the desk my name and social security number she looked confused. She then called over her manager, who did the same thing. Getting nervous, I asked what was wrong. Apparently according to the state of Illinois I'm dead. FML

by driver / 01/06/2010 at 9:55am / United States (Illinois) / Transportation

Today, I came home from a year long backpacking trip in Europe. During my absence my parents divorced, dad took the house and most of the money, sister is seven months pregnant, brother was arrested for statutory rape, and my mom pawned all my stuff to buy booze to "cope." Oh, and my fish died. FML

by Anonymous / 12/28/2009 at 7:08am / United States (Washington) / Holidays

Today, I found the only man who hates sex. He's my boyfriend. FML

by Unsatisfied / 12/16/2009 at 1:15am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, someone at work was bragging that their son was high school valedictorian and offered a full college scholarship. 7 years ago, I was also valedictorian and got that same scholarship. All I said was, "Congratulations. Did you want fries with that?" and continued taking their order. FML

by John / 11/07/2009 at 11:04am / United States (District of Columbia) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I arranged the food on my plate in a smiley face to try and make myself feel better. I'm a 38 year old man. It worked. FML

by Anon / 11/06/2009 at 7:32pm / United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire) / Miscellaneous

Today, my parents decided to visit me. When I first got my apartment I gave them a key "just in case" and today they used this key to enter when I didn't answer their knocking. I didn't answer because I was having sex with my boyfriend. My parents saw everything. They didn't know I was gay. FML

by gorgeousrenthead / 08/10/2009 at 7:41pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I found out that not only has my father been cheating on my mother with another woman, but they have a child together with the same name as me. FML

by redbluegreen / 08/09/2009 at 5:26am / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, at the airport, my mom began talking about how useless the war in Iraq was, and how dumb the soldiers that serve there were for enlisting during the war. The soldier at the vending machine near us caught my eye. I mouthed, "Sorry" and he mouthed, slowly, "You fuckin' better be." FML

by ILuvYouSoldiers / 06/26/2009 at 3:57am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous