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nRei

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nRei

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  • Number of visits : 1811
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Visits<b>BeautyMonster</b> - the 08/17/2013 at 11:59am<b>Charleybelle</b> - the 12/28/2012 at 1:29am<b>beddington</b> - the 12/27/2012 at 6:46am<b>DomDomxoxo</b> - the 12/18/2012 at 6:28pm<b>ICastillo</b> - the 10/23/2012 at 11:40pm<b>greenie213</b> - the 09/25/2012 at 7:03pm

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nRei's favorite FMLs

Today, I went bowling. I noticed a 10-year-old holding an iPod Touch which had the exact same customized case with my name on it as my iPod that was stolen a year ago at the same bowling centre. Even better, the parents yelled at me for accusing him. I got kicked out the bowling centre. FML

Today, my roommate decided to go vegan after watching a PETA video. She began this new-found lifestyle by throwing out all of the non-vegan items in the house, including some prime rib we had recently purchased, all of our ice cream, and my chocolate stash. FML

#20133890
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23151) - you deserved it (1914)

On 10/26/2012 at 3:58am - health - by Weasel123 - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. When she went to give me a blow job, I got embarrassed and told her I'd rather just please her instead. Now she thinks she's inadequate and I'm being a jerk. FML

#20132312
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23840) - you deserved it (16481)

On 10/25/2012 at 1:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my friend and I were walking home when we saw a patch of wet cement. Taking a page out of every single Disney movie ever made, we wrote our names in it. What Disney movies don't show is when the neighbors tattle on you and you have to pay $500 to get the cement redone. FML

#20132044
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8407) - you deserved it (28753)

On 10/24/2012 at 10:36pm - money - by onlyme (woman) - United States

Today, I ran into my ex-girlfriend from 5 years back. Still bitter, I said, "Hey baby, you remember riding me 5 years ago?" I was then punched in the face and restrained until the police arrived. She'd been having an 8 year anniversary dinner with her husband. FML

#20131351
268 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16941) - you deserved it (45497)

On 10/24/2012 at 2:26pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went to the bar I've always gone to after work for the past 12 years. On arrival, I got banned for life, punched in the nose and thrown out. The barmaid comes out and says, "Sorry, wrong guy." FML

#20130988
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25263) - you deserved it (1535)

On 10/24/2012 at 6:51am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while walking on a nearly empty street, my friend dared me to slap a tall muscular chick on the butt and run away. I went and did it, but before I even had a chance to turn and run, she grabbed me, bent me over her knee and spanked me until I cried. My friend filmed it. FML

#20130842
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6998) - you deserved it (46672)

On 10/24/2012 at 1:53am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I babysat a 10-year-old and we played Pokémon. It was my first time playing, so he showed me. I ended up winning and the kid started crying and told his parents he hated me. They decided not to pay me for the night, and now I'm out of a job. FML

#20130128
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21952) - you deserved it (4283)

On 10/23/2012 at 6:00pm - kids - by Pokemon problems - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a parent was too busy texting to notice her child had run in front of a moving truck. She did however see me grab the child's backpack to yank him back out of traffic. She then screamed at me for "manhandling" her child and demanded I be fired. It's not even my school; I'm a part time sub. FML

#20129237
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28008) - you deserved it (1273)

On 10/22/2012 at 11:51pm - work - by bad samaritan (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I let a friend borrow a power saw. When I found it on my porch later, the blade was missing and the cord was cut. Looking closer, I realized it was his saw. He kept my new one. He totally denies that he switched them and now won't answer his door. FML

#20128630
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21280) - you deserved it (1880)

On 10/22/2012 at 6:34pm - misc - by petra84 - United States (Colorado)

Today, I came home to find an almost completely devoured cheesecake, The Notebook playing on the TV, and a shoe thrown at my head. It's safe to say my girlfriend is just about on her period. FML

#20128340
258 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26346) - you deserved it (4795)

On 10/22/2012 at 3:08pm - misc - by jesushelpme (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I tried to tell my best friend how wrong she is to be dating a married man, whose wife happens to be pregnant with their first child. Our talk ended with her calling me a "meddling, frigid bitch" and me being told this is why I can't get laid. FML

#20125357
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24750) - you deserved it (2329)

On 10/20/2012 at 2:50pm - misc - by Dillyduzit (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my girlfriend tried to wake me with a handjob. Because I'm a very light sleeper, I woke straight away and instinctively punched whoever was touching my dick. She forgave me, but I don't think her father ever will once he finds out. FML

#20125284
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19976) - you deserved it (4605)

On 10/20/2012 at 1:29pm - love - by nahalDZ - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, after waking up from a drunken night, I realized the burning sensation I had from the lube during sex was because I used hand sanitizer. FML

#20125076
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10936) - you deserved it (35006)

On 10/20/2012 at 9:57am - intimacy - by MIND BLOWING - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my husband informed me that he recently slept with a secretary of his to become better at sex for me. I don't know what's worse, the fact that he cheated on me or that he seriously believes that he has a reasonable excuse. FML

#20124966
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26679) - you deserved it (1892)

On 10/20/2012 at 4:49am - love - by Enragedbitch - United States (California)



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