nRei

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nRei

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  • Number of visits : 3491
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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nRei's page activity

Visits<b>BeautyMonster</b> - the 08/17/2013 at 11:59am<b>Charleybelle</b> - the 12/28/2012 at 1:29am<b>beddington</b> - the 12/27/2012 at 6:46am<b>DomDomxoxo</b> - the 12/18/2012 at 6:28pm<b>ICastillo</b> - the 10/23/2012 at 11:40pm<b>greenie213</b> - the 09/25/2012 at 7:03pm

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nRei's favorite FMLs

Today, I got a phone call out of the blue from a young man, who screamed that he was going to kill me for sleeping with his fiancée. I told him I am a 49-year-old man who hasn't been laid since my wife passed away, four years ago. He stammered, shouted "Well she was a slut too" and hung up. FML

by Anonymous / 08/17/2012 at 8:20pm / United States / Love

Today, my new boss, the CEO's son, finally showed up for work, three days late and right after lunch break. His first order of business was to call a meeting and scream at everyone for not having a diet latte waiting for him on his desk. God help us all. FML

by SHIIIIITTTT / 08/10/2012 at 7:16pm / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, I spoke to my hormonal pregnant wife about baby names. I told her I liked the name "Tabitha", and she went into a full rage about how all letters have textures, colours and emotions and how T is an evil letter. Apparently it's orange, plastic, and a needle trying to stab her eyes out. FML

by LNamesOnly / 07/09/2012 at 3:31am / Australia / Kids

Today, after careful consideration, I told my wife I really want to have kids. She laughed, until she finally realized I was serious, at which point she flicked me in the balls and said, "Problem solved." FML

by Anonymous / 06/20/2012 at 12:41pm / United States (Illinois) / Kids

Today, I was working at the local liquor store. An obviously drunk girl stumbles in, grabs two cases of beer and puts them on the counter. Then she grabs a pregnancy test, pees on it right there, shows me, and says, "I'm not pregnant, I want beer." FML

by viviham / 05/04/2012 at 8:08am / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, I found out that my fellow marching band mates all refer to me as the "short girl with big tits" because none of them can remember my name. FML

by noname / 04/27/2012 at 8:04am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my fiancé came home drunk with some girl. Then he told her that I was his sister. FML

by elisabeth_pwnes / 03/16/2012 at 6:38am / Norway (Vestfold) / Love

Today, I was shopping for tampons when a cute guy came over and gave me his number. He said, "Call me in 3 to 5 days." FML

by Tristansefam1367 / 03/12/2012 at 9:11am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was on the subway head bobbing to my favorite track when the guy across from me gets up, punches me in the face and says, "Don't nod at my wife like that." FML

by Anonymous / 02/19/2012 at 6:17am / United States / Transportation

Today, even though she can barely deal with raising kids, my 19-year-old sister announced her fourth pregnancy, by a fourth man, of yet another race. Why? Because she wants to "be like Angelina Jolie." I fear that social services may laugh at me if I tell them. FML

by amythest / 02/12/2012 at 7:18pm / United Kingdom (Belfast) / Kids

Today, inspired by my own relationship, I encouraged my best friend to go after the guy she likes. She did, and I'm now single. FML

by britt71411 / 01/13/2012 at 12:17pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I met my ex's new boyfriend. I was at work, cashiering at the movie theater that they were apparently having their first date at. We broke up less than 24 hours ago. FML

by TheBeastSwaq / 12/31/2011 at 12:09pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, my girlfriend tried to cover my eyes while I was driving on the main street, all because she caught me looking at an ad featuring bikini-clad girls on the bus ahead of our car. FML

by Anonymous / 12/19/2011 at 3:31pm / United States (New York) / Transportation

Today, my boyfriend informed me that the mother of his children, from whom he is not divorced yet, is moving back into his house because she broke up with her boyfriend and has nowhere to go. FML

by Anonymous / 12/08/2011 at 6:55am / United States (Georgia) / Love

Today, my dad announced to the whole family that we will be having a vegetarian dinner this Christmas to make my step-mum happy. FML

by BFH4Life / 11/30/2011 at 4:27am / United Kingdom (Plymouth) / Miscellaneous