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nRei

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nRei
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  • Number of visits : 408
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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nRei's favorite FMLs

Today, yet again, I was getting intimate with my shower head. Some complete genius decided to flush the toilet downstairs halfway through, which sent scalding-hot water all up in my privates. I've yet to find a comfortable sitting position. FML

#20046536
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11343) - you deserved it (25792)

On 08/28/2012 at 5:22pm - intimacy - by Bethany (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I wrote the girl I love a long, gushy letter to convince her to be with me instead of her abusive ex. Later on, I asked her what she thought. She said she can't read cursive. She chose the ex. FML

#20046039
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16621) - you deserved it (2566)

On 08/28/2012 at 10:16am - love - by tutusaurus - United States (California)

Today, I had to pee so bad that I ran downstairs with no glasses on and stumbled into the bathroom, half blind. I sat down on the toilet and realized just a little late that my older sister and her boyfriend were having sex in the bathtub. FML

#20042115
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25288) - you deserved it (1985)

On 08/26/2012 at 1:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend actually held onto my love handles while we were having sex. He said they "made it easier." FML

#20039086
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15547) - you deserved it (6516)

On 08/24/2012 at 9:53am - intimacy - by chunkymonkey (woman) - United States

Today, I got a phone call out of the blue from a young man, who screamed that he was going to kill me for sleeping with his fiancée. I told him I am a 49-year-old man who hasn't been laid since my wife passed away, four years ago. He stammered, shouted, "Well she was a slut too" and hung up. FML

#20027025
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25287) - you deserved it (927)

On 08/17/2012 at 8:20pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my new boss, the CEO's son, finally showed up for work, three days late and right after lunch break. His first order of business was to call a meeting and scream at everyone for not having a diet latte waiting for him on his desk. God help us all. FML

#20013987
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20257) - you deserved it (850)

On 08/10/2012 at 7:16pm - work - by SHIIIIITTTT (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I spoke to my hormonal pregnant wife about baby names. I told her I liked the name "Tabitha", and she went into a full rage about how all letters have textures, colours and emotions and how T is an evil letter. Apparently it's orange, plastic, and a needle trying to stab her eyes out. FML

#19913255
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20663) - you deserved it (2961)

On 07/09/2012 at 3:31am - kids - by LNamesOnly (man) - Australia

Today, after careful consideration, I told my wife I really want to have kids. She laughed, until she finally realized I was serious, at which point she flicked me in the balls and said, "Problem solved." FML

#19818500
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18697) - you deserved it (2209)

On 06/20/2012 at 12:41pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was working at the local liquor store. An obviously drunk girl stumbles in, grabs two cases of beer and puts them on the counter. Then she grabs a pregnancy test, pees on it right there, shows me, and says, "I'm not pregnant, I want beer." FML

#19572319
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23626) - you deserved it (1288)

On 05/04/2012 at 8:08am - work - by viviham - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that my fellow marching band mates all refer to me as the "short girl with big tits" because none of them can remember my name. FML

#19536517
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18170) - you deserved it (2897)

On 04/27/2012 at 8:04am - misc - by noname (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my fiancé came home drunk with some girl. Then he told her that I was his sister. FML

#19287626
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33319) - you deserved it (2414)

On 03/16/2012 at 6:38am - love - by elisabeth_pwnes - Norway (Vestfold)

Today, I was shopping for tampons when a cute guy came over and gave me his number. He said, "Call me in 3 to 5 days." FML

#19263580
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28383) - you deserved it (4124)

On 03/12/2012 at 9:11am - misc - by Tristansefam1367 - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was on the subway head bobbing to my favorite track when the guy across from me gets up, punches me in the face and says, "Don't nod at my wife like that." FML

#19113390
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22963) - you deserved it (2564)

On 02/19/2012 at 6:17am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, even though she can barely deal with raising kids, my 19-year-old sister announced her fourth pregnancy, by a fourth man, of yet another race. Why? Because she wants to "be like Angelina Jolie." I fear that social services may laugh at me if I tell them. FML

#19059341
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29326) - you deserved it (1894)

On 02/12/2012 at 7:18pm - kids - by amythest - United Kingdom (Belfast)

Today, inspired by my own relationship, I encouraged my best friend to go after the guy she likes. She did, and I'm now single. FML

#18795232
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35511) - you deserved it (3818)

On 01/13/2012 at 12:17pm - love - by britt71411 - United States (Texas)



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