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Today, I was walking to school with my earphones in, when someone tapped me on the shoulder. I was shocked, and whirled around to hit him in the crotch. I soon realized he was just trying to return the commuter pass I'd dropped at the station. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3994) - you deserved it (18812)
On 09/15/2012 at 2:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Louisiana)
Today, the gas company came to connect our stove for free. While here, they broke our hot water heater, shut it off, and issued us a hazard notice. We can fix it, but they won't be able to come back for another two weeks to turn the gas back on. We don't have any hot water until then. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14265) - you deserved it (860)
On 09/15/2012 at 12:44am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I woke up to a glorious sunrise, fresh coffee, and a bleached lawn. My neighbors on both sides have constantly fought with each other since before I even moved in, which I guess explains the note taped to my window saying, "Pick a side." FML
I agree, your life sucks (13117) - you deserved it (754)
On 09/14/2012 at 3:50pm - misc - by thefuckman (man) - United States
Today, I had a date with a guy from the Internet. I'm 6ft1, which tends to put potential dates off, so I'd slyly knocked a few inches off my description. Turns out he'd done the same. He'd added a whole foot to his height. I had to crouch to talk to him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13795) - you deserved it (8635)
On 09/14/2012 at 4:26am - love - by TallGal (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, my wife knows tattoos are a huge turnoff for me. She decided the best way to change my mind about them would be to get one. Across her neck. Of our dog's name. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23619) - you deserved it (2622)
On 09/13/2012 at 2:43am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, a creepy girl from my class wouldn't stop texting me and trying to call me. In order to get her to stop, I texted back saying that I was at my mom's house for a family dinner. She replied, "No you're not. I can see you right now." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26643) - you deserved it (3198)
On 09/12/2012 at 5:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I had just bought a new $60 basketball and decided to go try it out. Five minutes into playing, the ball decided to roll into the hands of a little girl, who then said, "Mine". I thought it was cute, until she skipped over to her parent's car and they drove off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23120) - you deserved it (4179)
On 09/12/2012 at 4:52am - kids - by Bitchjackedmyball - United States (Hawaii)
Today, I came home from work to be given $1 by my mother. This normally would have been nice, had my mother not said, "I just sold that ugly old black and white picture frame you always leave lying around in your room." Which also would have been nice if that "frame" wasn't my Kindle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28063) - you deserved it (1267)
On 09/12/2012 at 4:44am - money - by humorizer - United States (Texas)
Today, I figured out how serious my weight problem really is when my boyfriend had to lift a fat roll before he could enter me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9222) - you deserved it (36909)
On 09/11/2012 at 12:56pm - intimacy - by gemma - United Kingdom (Belfast)
Today, after moving in with a couple of vegan zoologists a few weeks ago, I discover that they don't believe that we have the right to kill cockroaches, and will not allow me to do so. The house is infested, and it's spread to my bedroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18994) - you deserved it (2839)
On 09/11/2012 at 11:08am - health - by Stevski (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, after pouring my heart out to a beautiful girl on Facebook, and having her return the favor, she typed a final message that read, "That was my friend. Please f*ck off now. Thanks." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17203) - you deserved it (5694)
On 09/10/2012 at 11:13pm - love - by TheNaturalOrderofThingsSucks (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was trying to pass a lady with a stroller, when she nearly fell. I used my ninja-like reflexes to catch her. Too bad my ninja-like reflexes didn't block the punch that she delivered to my fap-stick for apparently being a "pervert" for saving her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15803) - you deserved it (1710)
On 09/10/2012 at 8:42pm - misc - by CaptainSaveAHoe (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was out shopping, when I noticed a teenage girl with a double stroller picking up a pack of condoms. I couldn't help but mutter that it was a little late for those. A guy who must have been her boyfriend then stormed over and beat the shit out of me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11340) - you deserved it (47421)
On 09/10/2012 at 1:52pm - intimacy - by killmenow - United States (Washington)
Today, my mother shared my phone number with my brother, despite my explicit wishes that she didn't. He immediately went and put it on Craigslist and several other websites. This is the fourth time I've had to change my number for that very same reason. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19260) - you deserved it (1276)
On 09/10/2012 at 10:14am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, while shopping, I saw a little girl and her mom. The girl was pouting so I tried to cheer her up by asking her if she was a princess, because she was so pretty. She smiled but her mom looked at me with disgust and told me to, "Get lost, pedo." I'm a 17-year-old girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20464) - you deserved it (1940)
On 09/10/2012 at 12:39am - kids - by well okay then (woman) - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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