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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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mzmartinez92

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mzmartinez92
  • Town/Country : lomita, United States
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 19 March 1995 (16 years)
  • Number of visits : 717
  • Number of comments : 31
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About mzmartinez92 : 15, my hobbies are basketball, football, and guitar

mzmartinez92's last visitors

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mzmartinez92's favorite FMLs

Today, I got on a treadmill for the first time. I was running at a very high speed. I needed a break but didn't know how to get off. I decided to just let the machine take me to the edge so I could get off. I was thrown off the treadmill and landed with my happy sacks crashing into a dumbbell. FML

#7231973 (111)

I agree, your life sucks (4383) - you deserved it (24471)

On 01/09/2010 at 5:17am - health - by King7 (man) - Pakistan (Sindh)

Today, I got hit in the face with a piece of bacon. FML

#7231938 (99)

I agree, your life sucks (8888) - you deserved it (20780)

On 01/09/2010 at 5:12am - misc - by Face (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was wearing a shirt that had a picture of a squirrel and acorns with a caption reading "Protect Your Nuts". My dad walked up to me, read my shirt, then punched me in the balls. FML

#7227808 (119)

I agree, your life sucks (6950) - you deserved it (26145)

On 01/09/2010 at 12:01am - misc - by squirrel (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I wanted to take a nice hot relaxing bath. A wasp somehow got in, and stung me on the nuts. FML

#6471383 (80)

I agree, your life sucks (26842) - you deserved it (3082)

On 11/26/2009 at 11:26pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was at work, working on a new play. In the final dress rehearsal, I heard some of the crew laughing so I looked down at the very revealing costume to see that my left testicle was hanging out. FML

#6443277 (89)

I agree, your life sucks (23399) - you deserved it (5251)

On 11/25/2009 at 9:45am - work - by youshitme (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I realized that our generation will be remembered as the kids who liked sparkly vampires. FML

#6439149 (409)

I agree, your life sucks (57262) - you deserved it (8511)

On 11/24/2009 at 7:08pm - misc - by buhknee - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I discovered my 18 year old son has been peeing on the carpet when he is too lazy to get out of bed in the morning and blaming it on the cat. FML

#3998492 (232)

I agree, your life sucks (59268) - you deserved it (5183)

On 07/24/2009 at 3:04am - kids - by tony (man) - United States (California)

Today, I tried to break up with my boyfriend. He said no. FML

#3991086 (384)

I agree, your life sucks (47701) - you deserved it (20009)

On 07/23/2009 at 10:26pm - love - by Ella (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was standing by the bed naked, waiting for my wife to come out of the bathroom. She opens the door and walks over to me, swinging her hips, wearing pratically nothing. About four feet from me, she trips on the edge of the floor mat, and uses my 'junk' to catch herself. FML

#3950301 (181)

I agree, your life sucks (63749) - you deserved it (4385)

On 07/22/2009 at 10:12am - intimacy - by Gordon (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I found out that my son is not really gay. He just told me that so I'd let him have girls in his bedroom. FML

#3842566 (473)

I agree, your life sucks (21786) - you deserved it (855)

On 07/17/2009 at 10:00pm - kids - by Pumpkin (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was walking through Macy's with my girlfriend. I stopped to admire a mannequin's ass, joking with my girlfriend like I was touching it. Then I slapped it. It wasn't a mannequin. FML

#408707 (240)

I agree, your life sucks (30880) - you deserved it (135584)

On 03/17/2009 at 6:16am - intimacy - by Noname (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was with my 6th grade class. During recess, we were talking about growing up and getting older. I said that one day, they'd start to look like me. Two of my students started crying. FML

#264101 (64)

I agree, your life sucks (52095) - you deserved it (4539)

On 03/10/2009 at 7:58pm - misc - by ouch (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I danced with a girl until the bar closed. We went back to my place. She had a penis. FML

#2248 (139)

I agree, your life sucks (32661) - you deserved it (5585)

On 01/22/2009 at 6:27pm - love - by Noname - Canada (Alberta)