14, my hobbies are basketball, football, and my hot girlfriend
Today, I discovered my 18 year old son has been peeing on the carpet when he is too lazy to get out of bed in the morning and blaming it on the cat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48882) - you totally deserved it (4102)
On 07/24/2009 at 3:04am - kids - by tony (man) - United States (California)
Today, I tried to break up with my boyfriend. He said no. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36189) - you totally deserved it (15861)
On 07/23/2009 at 10:26pm - love - by Ella (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was lying in bed late at night trying to fall asleep. I blew my nose on a kleenex and was too lazy to get up and put it in the garbage. I threw it under my bed when I heard a whispery voice say "Thank you". It was my little brother trying to scare me. I peed myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37206) - you totally deserved it (7304)
On 07/23/2009 at 7:34am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was standing by the bed naked, waiting for my wife to come out of the bathroom. She opens the door and walks over to me, swinging her hips, wearing pratically nothing. About four feet from me, she trips on the edge of the floor mat, and uses my 'junk' to catch herself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54946) - you totally deserved it (3465)
On 07/22/2009 at 10:12am - intimacy - by Gordon (man) - United States (Kansas)
Today, I found out that my son is not really gay. He just told me that so I'd let him have girls in his bedroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12403) - you totally deserved it (48033)
On 07/17/2009 at 10:00pm - kids - by Pumpkin (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I thought it would be funny to fart in my roommates mouth while he was asleep. I walked over to him and pulled my pyjamas down and let loose. To my surprise it was a very wet one and I accidently took a dump on his face, he woke up and beat me until I was bleeding. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14225) - you totally deserved it (222033)
On 04/18/2009 at 1:09am - health - by dumptaker (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was walking through Macy's with my girlfriend. I stopped to admire a mannequins ass, joking with my girlfriend like I was touching it. Then proceeded to slap it. It wasn't a mannequin. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24262) - you totally deserved it (114544)
On 03/17/2009 at 6:16am - intimacy - by Noname (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was with my 6th grade class. During recess, we were talking about growing up and getting older. I said that one day, they'd start to look like me. Two of my students started crying. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46943) - you totally deserved it (3690)
On 03/10/2009 at 7:58pm - misc - by ouch (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I danced with a girl until the bar closed. We went back to my place. She had a penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22134) - you totally deserved it (3636)
On 01/22/2009 at 6:27pm - love - by Noname - Canada (Alberta)
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