mutantcow

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mutantcow

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 9 March 1994 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 20537
  • Number of comments : 49
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About mutantcow : hello. :D

mutantcow's page activity

Visits<b>Wontonfon</b> - the 05/01/2016 at 1:38pm<b>helenthepanda</b> - the 01/11/2016 at 2:51am<b>raaron773</b> - the 12/20/2015 at 10:40pm<b>kindleh09</b> - the 11/18/2015 at 8:54am<b>elsabeth</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 12:36am<b>RawrPancaked</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 4:38pm<b>ki087</b> - the 08/04/2015 at 2:37pm<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 1:57pm<b>eddie367</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 2:58pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 12/07/2014 at 8:30am<b>datuglykorean</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 7:19pm<b>king_of_LA</b> - the 03/24/2014 at 9:24pm<b>KyngJulian</b> - the 01/18/2014 at 3:27pm<b>FamousPeace</b> - the 10/13/2013 at 10:31am<b>kingtice</b> - the 08/04/2013 at 12:04am<b>Torrixx</b> - the 07/02/2013 at 6:20pm<b>AGB10</b> - the 06/03/2013 at 1:16am<b>qwillis98</b> - the 02/04/2013 at 10:17pm

Fucked!<b>ki087</b> - the 08/04/2015 at 8:37pm

mutantcow's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

mutantcow's favorite FMLs

Today, my dad told me about how my mother had a bad dream last night and began to scream "Don't take me, take my children!" FML

by lm / 05/20/2009 at 4:49pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to see a fortune teller. She said one of my closest friends will die soon because of me. Frightened I hurried home to avoid meeting anyone I know. At home I found my goldfish floating on its back. Apparently I forgot to feed my closest friend for the past 3 days. FML

by killer / 05/16/2009 at 8:21am / Latvia (Riga) / Animals

Today, I was shopping at a supermarket. As I was about to pay for my items, I noticed the cashier was very cute. Trying to be nice, I smiled. She smiled back and said "Hello, how are you?" Instead of saying "I'm good" or "I'm okay", I said "I'm gay". FML

by UncleRory / 05/16/2009 at 5:13am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I went to a Taylor Swift concert. At the concert they put up a sign that said "Scream if you love country boys." My boyfriend took one look at it and started screaming. FML

by TayTay / 05/16/2009 at 3:52am / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, I graduated from college and my parents gave me an apple. Not the computer, the fruit. FML

by anon / 05/13/2009 at 1:39pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I gave my wife a cat. The first thing it did when it got out of the box was scratch the sh*t out of my leg. Next, it ran up to my wife and purred. She said, "Good cat." FML

by prevostsrocklike / 05/11/2009 at 8:38am / United States (Tennessee) / Animals

Today, after spending the night hanging out with a beautiful girl we start to walk back to my place. Halfway there she turns and says, "I wish you were a vampire" and goes back home. FML

by Hallllo / 05/11/2009 at 1:12am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, I took my lunch break to buy my mom a pretty orchid. I took it to her apartment (to which I have a key), placed it on her coffee table with her card, and went back to work, pleased with my surprise. She called me later to ask why I got her a stick in a pot of dirt. Her cat ate the orchid. FML

by progressiveboink / 05/11/2009 at 12:06am / United States (Texas) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my mom told me to follow her car closely to my aunt's house. I kept really close to her which caused me to get pulled over for tailgating. I explained everything to the cop so he went over to my mom to see if that was the truth. My mom said she didn't know me. I got a ticket. Thanks mom. FML

by newdriver / 05/10/2009 at 8:55pm / United States (New Jersey) / Transportation

Today, I flew to see my long distance boyfriend who I haven't seen in 6 months. Upon seeing me, he ran up to me, picked me up and swung me around like they do in the movies. In doing so, my foot hit a 4 year old child who was running past and knocked him out. FML

by airport / 05/10/2009 at 2:49pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, I flew to see my long distance boyfriend who I haven't seen in 6 months. Upon seeing me, he ran up to me, picked me up and swung me around like they do in the movies. In doing so, my foot hit a 4 year old child who was running past and knocked him out. FML

by airport / 05/10/2009 at 2:49pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, I missed my flight because I was stopped by airport security. They found "small, suspicious, spherical objects" in my purse on the X-ray. After pulling me out of line, taking my purse aside and carefully opening it with tongs, they removed the bag of grapes I had packed as a snack. FML

by Ya / 05/10/2009 at 10:18am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Holidays

Today, I treated myself to a spa day at home. First, I decided to do a hot oil treatment on my hair. I was leaning over the saucepan of oil on the stove when it flared up in my face. On the bright side, I no longer have to worry about plucking my eyebrows. FML

by torchy / 05/10/2009 at 12:48am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got to sleep in late for the first time in 3 years, as wife took our two young daughters out of town to visit with her parents. I told my mother that I was really looking forward to being able to sleep in this morning. The phone rang at 7:30. It was my mother asking me how I slept. FML

by Wally / 05/08/2009 at 11:20am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. I really get off on hearing her say my name so I was imagining her doing so more often than she actually was. I then called out my own name by accident. FML

by eeh / 05/07/2009 at 10:45am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy