mutantcow

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mutantcow

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 9 March 1994 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 20979
  • Number of comments : 49
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About mutantcow : hello. :D

mutantcow's page activity

Visits<b>Death_The_Kid15</b> - the 07/23/2016 at 7:50pm<b>Wontonfon</b> - the 05/01/2016 at 1:38pm<b>helenthepanda</b> - the 01/11/2016 at 2:51am<b>raaron773</b> - the 12/20/2015 at 10:40pm<b>kindleh09</b> - the 11/18/2015 at 8:54am<b>elsabeth</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 12:36am<b>RawrPancaked</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 4:38pm<b>ki087</b> - the 08/04/2015 at 2:37pm<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 1:57pm<b>eddie367</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 2:58pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 12/07/2014 at 8:30am<b>datuglykorean</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 7:19pm<b>king_of_LA</b> - the 03/24/2014 at 9:24pm<b>KyngJulian</b> - the 01/18/2014 at 3:27pm<b>FamousPeace</b> - the 10/13/2013 at 10:31am<b>kingtice</b> - the 08/04/2013 at 12:04am<b>Torrixx</b> - the 07/02/2013 at 6:20pm<b>AGB10</b> - the 06/03/2013 at 1:16am

Fucked!<b>ki087</b> - the 08/04/2015 at 8:37pm

mutantcow's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

mutantcow's favorite FMLs

Today, I was playing around with my sister's kitten. As a joke, I put him underneath the sheets and farted. He attacked my nuts. FML

by Anonymous / 06/07/2009 at 11:53am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I noticed I have to lift up my fat to see my penis. FML

by dawg3360 / 06/07/2009 at 2:02am / Canada (British Columbia) / Love

Today, my cousin and I found out that when a girl puts a flower in the right side of her hair, it means she's available. The bigger the flower, the more available she is. My eleven year old boy cousin told me to cut down a palm tree and put it in my hair. FML

by Anonymous / 06/06/2009 at 8:38pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Love

Today, I was walking on a path through a park by myself. I glanced at the ground and saw a shadow behind me. Thinking of an attacker, I screamed as loud as I could and began flailing my arms to ward him off. Turns out, it was a jogger. He had to stop due to his uncontrollable laughter. FML

by paranoid / 06/06/2009 at 12:43am / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at a bar. A fat guy looks at me for a while and sits down next to me. He turns and I expect that he'll hit on me. He then buttons down his shirt, presses his man boobs together and say to his friends “Look, I’ve got bigger tits than than the girl next to me!" His friends agreed. FML

by Anonymous / 06/05/2009 at 4:54pm / Denmark (Staden Kobenhavn) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunder storm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML

by fmlfmlfml / 06/02/2009 at 2:03pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I asked my mom if I could join my friends in getting lessons in self defense. My mom told me that I didn't need them because my face was a better weapon to repel anyone. FML

by anonymous / 06/01/2009 at 3:05am / Korea Republic of (Seoul-t'ukpyolsi) / Miscellaneous

Today, while shopping in the FML store I bought the "Retro Sport Tee," I didn't notice you are supposed to put your own "FML" on the shirt. Mine says "Today, Your Text Here. FML." FML

by deucelututi / 05/31/2009 at 8:03am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was preparing a dinner for some business associates, in hopes of closing the deal on a promotion. I emailed them with the menu, in case there were any allergies. Hours later, I checked the email again to find that instead of serving the Roast Duck I would be serving the Roast Fuck. FML

by wordmalfunction / 05/25/2009 at 5:42pm / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous

Today, I decided to use my mentor's advice. I told her I had been having some trouble controlling my anger, she told me to throw rocks at trees. I threw a rock at a tree, very hard. It bounced back hit me above the eye. I'm still pissed as shit. FML

by untitledentity / 05/24/2009 at 12:03pm / United States (District of Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I thought it would be funny to bother my friend Emily. I kept punching her. She asked if I wanted to fight. I agreed because she's a 15 year old skinny girl and I'm 17 year old buff guy. She beat the crap out of me until I cried. FML

by AyoitsSteveo / 05/24/2009 at 5:49am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, none of my 500 Facebook friends responded to my status about "who wants to hang out during summer holidays?" I created an imaginary person on a different account to respond and ask me to hang out with him. I had a conversation on my status, with myself. FML

by ineedalifekay / 05/24/2009 at 2:43am / Canada (British Columbia) / Holidays

Today, I spent the whole day seeing how many licks it would take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop: 763. I'm 24. FML

by Tootsy_Roll_Pop / 05/23/2009 at 12:15pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was lining a soccer field. I had the entire grid laid out, so I began to paint with a handheld cart. I finished the entire field without looking back once. I forgot to put paint in the cart. I walked around a field for an hour painting with air. FML

by onlyme / 05/23/2009 at 1:15am / United States (Nebraska) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was sitting at my college campus, there were good looking girls all around me and I was trying to catch their eye and smile, letting them know I'm available. A butterfly flew by me and I screamed. FML

by Anonymous / 05/20/2009 at 8:11pm / United States (New York) / Animals