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mutantcow

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mutantcow
  • Town/Country : Boston, United States of America
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 9 March 1994 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 19216
  • Number of comments : 49
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About mutantcow : hello. :D

mutantcow's last visitors

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mutantcow's favorite FMLs

Today, my boss requested that I re-organize every file in the office, because she wanted the filing cabinets alphabetized right to left, not left to right. To thank me, she came into my office to give me one uncooked ear of corn. I think my boss has mistaken me for some kind of farm animal. FML

#3613617
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43770) - you deserved it (3069)

On 07/09/2009 at 3:17pm - work - by ST3PH (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boss walked in my office to see me busy making a little Post-it dress for my pen. FML

#3610078
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11066) - you deserved it (50360)

On 07/09/2009 at 12:27pm - misc - by Anonymous - France (Midi-Pyrenees)

Today, I lost my cell phone. Since I sleep on the couch, I started looking through the cushions. I didn't find my phone, but after 6 months of uncomfortably sleeping on the couch, I find out I'm sleeping on top of a pull out bed. FML

#3550843
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16077) - you deserved it (54271)

On 07/07/2009 at 10:34am - misc - by stupid (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I woke up finding myself violently humping my pillow. My mom recorded it. FML

#3474895
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59561) - you deserved it (11398)

On 07/04/2009 at 4:58am - intimacy - by R_U_CEREAL (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was walking down the street, when a man behind me tapped me on the shoulder. He gave a $5 bill and said that he thought I had dropped it. Not having the integrity to turn him down, I took it. I spent the next 20 minutes being chased by a crazy hobo who claimed that it was his. FML

#3446462
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9059) - you deserved it (41962)

On 07/03/2009 at 2:29am - love - by pinkrazrgirl247 - United States

Today, I learned that when blender jars aren't locked, they fly off the blender, into the air, hit you in the head and explode all over your kitchen. Today, I also learned that after I'm attacked by a flying blender, the first thing my boyfriend asks is if I'm still gonna make him a smoothie. FML

#3254274
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40513) - you deserved it (10210)

On 06/26/2009 at 8:29pm - misc - by lifesmells - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mom put some bubblewrap on my desk because she thought I would have fun with it. I'm 18. It was awesome. FML

#3229865
298 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63028) - you deserved it (37033)

On 06/26/2009 at 2:13am - misc - by Jeweler (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was installing the official 3.0 firmware update for my iPhone. Apple's authentication servers crashed. I now own an iBrick. FML

#2990755
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42213) - you deserved it (7706)

On 06/18/2009 at 9:05am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I thought I saw a woodchuck far out in my yard. I wanted to take a cool picture of it so I slowly crept closer and closer to it. I spent half an hour sneaking up on a log. FML

#2900113
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15705) - you deserved it (47386)

On 06/14/2009 at 11:37pm - misc - by thelarkscaw (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was at the cafeteria of my school with my boyfriend and he dumped me. I was kinda expecting it. What I wasn't expecting was that he'd start running in front of everyone, screaming "FREEEEEEEEEDOM!" at the top of his lungs and that he'd kiss the first girl he saw. FML

#2822887
311 comments

I agree, your life sucks (81453) - you deserved it (9232)

On 06/12/2009 at 2:39am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was helping an old man find a pair of shoes. I told him about a particularly comfortable pair but had to inform him that they only came in black or white. Hearing this, the old man grabbed me around the neck and began to beat me in the head with our display shoe. He wanted brown. FML

#2821458
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66119) - you deserved it (3477)

On 06/12/2009 at 1:33am - work - by Shoes (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I got hypnotized at my school's variety show. Apparently, when asked to do something I enjoy doing, I began to violently hump the floor. FML

#2722142
268 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79312) - you deserved it (19068)

On 06/08/2009 at 3:41pm - intimacy - by OhGeez (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)



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