About mustang95 : Just you average southern country boy. Message me if you have any questions.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Socialite
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Beginner
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
Today, I was at work when a co-worker decided it would be funny to email me from my boss's computer to tell me I had been laid off. It wasn't funny when I was fired for real after "skipping work without giving notice." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23846) - you deserved it (1457)
On 06/18/2012 at 12:39am - work - by Adam Jensen - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I kindly asked my boyfriend to shave his pubic hair to make oral sex more enjoyable for me. He declined, saying, "Think of it as flossing your teeth. I'm doing you a much needed favor." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20618) - you deserved it (3452)
On 06/17/2012 at 9:00pm - intimacy - by turnedoff (woman) - United States
Today, while giving my fiancé a hand-job, my ring got stuck in his pubes. We had to awkwardly get to the kitchen to get scissors. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16537) - you deserved it (4721)
On 06/16/2012 at 10:14pm - intimacy - by Mega_bug - United States (Washington)
Today, I found out my wife is pregnant. She hadn't even called me; I saw the news on my Facebook news feed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24335) - you deserved it (1679)
On 06/16/2012 at 10:08pm - misc - by mystery - United States (Arizona)
Today, my son paid the price for emulating his idols, aka the sub-human scum on Jersey Shore. He called me from jail and actually had the balls to try to guilt me into bailing him out, after he'd been arrested for punching his girlfriend at a liquor store. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24441) - you deserved it (2961)
On 06/15/2012 at 8:00pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I visited my new doctor for the migraines I've been getting lately. Right from the start, I could have sworn the guy was on drugs. He just listened to my heartbeat, said, "Well Dave, it sounds like gallstones" and said they'll pass naturally. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16740) - you deserved it (1243)
On 06/15/2012 at 7:31pm - health - by davav74 (man) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)
Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29518) - you deserved it (2879)
Today, after having stayed up all night studying, all the coffee I'd drank to keep me awake hit my gut with a vengeance. I ended up missing two exams because I was emptying my bowels into the toilet all morning. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12481) - you deserved it (6047)
On 06/15/2012 at 12:41pm - misc - by eminem blows cock (woman) - Ireland (Kerry)
Today, I found out how my parents met. They met at a mental hospital, where they were both being hospitalized. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23689) - you deserved it (1730)
On 06/15/2012 at 11:36am - love - by fail (woman) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I went to see a movie with my girlfriend and a few others. Mid-way through, I noticed my girlfriend giving a hand-job to my best friend. I couldn't believe my eyes, and I confronted them. He claimed he had been asleep, she claimed she was mopping up a spill, and I'm now single again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40902) - you deserved it (2359)
On 06/14/2012 at 6:51pm - intimacy - by aranya (man) - Netherlands (Overijssel)
Today, I was having sex with my wife, when she fell asleep. She then woke up and started moaning, clearly faking an orgasm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21382) - you deserved it (5711)
On 06/13/2012 at 10:21pm - intimacy - by biggieT - Sri Lanka (Western)
Today, I found out that if you whistle Christmas carols while shitting in a public bathroom, a little boy might just look under the stall to see if Santa is pooping. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9771) - you deserved it (15637)
On 06/13/2012 at 9:17pm - misc - by ww2freak - United States (Virginia)
Today, I went to take my driver's test, and I did almost everything perfectly. The last thing was to back into a driveway. As I went to put my hand on the passenger seat to look over my shoulder, I got so nervous that I hit my instructor in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18905) - you deserved it (2099)
On 06/13/2012 at 2:13pm - misc - by sopissed - United States (Maryland)
Today, I started my new job as a repossession agent. While attempting to repo a boat, we came across a young couple. The woman was very annoying, and even hit another agent, so I threatened to throw her in the water if she touched him again. I ended up in the water instead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12193) - you deserved it (8622)
On 06/12/2012 at 12:38pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)
Today, I got a new set of acrylic nails put on. While driving home, I had an urge to pick my nose. My car then went over a speed-bump. I now feel like my brain is bleeding. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6360) - you deserved it (28901)
On 06/11/2012 at 8:42am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)
Monday 20 May 2013
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