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mustang95

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mustang95

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 15 August 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4371
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About mustang95 : Just you average southern country boy. Message me if you have any questions.

mustang95's page activity

Visits<b>shtoof</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 11:18am<b>ale2309</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 6:13pm<b>jazzybrar</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 7:54pm<b>curticus</b> - the 06/04/2014 at 10:18pm<b>tagallopes</b> - the 05/04/2014 at 3:23pm<b>jcroisdale</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 3:14pm<b>xxdreamloverxx</b> - the 02/21/2014 at 12:08pm<b>xx_moonwalker_xx</b> - the 11/07/2013 at 8:34am<b>Girosrabing</b> - the 10/26/2013 at 7:58pm<b>kingofks</b> - the 10/11/2013 at 2:15am<b>azan1</b> - the 05/07/2013 at 4:31pm<b>jetpackzach</b> - the 10/15/2012 at 12:17am

mustang95's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

See all of mustang95's badges

mustang95's favorite FMLs

Today, I was talking to a swimmer I just met. I saw a cute guy and whispered to her "that guy is hot." She asked "Who?" I pointed at him. She turned to see him, then turned back to me and said "Ew, thats my brother." She went to him, whispered something. He turned around to see me and said "EW." FML

#1242377
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53214) - you deserved it (7219)

On 04/22/2009 at 9:58pm - love - by uglyswimmer (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my husband and I were looking for a new house. The open house we were in had a strange floral scent to entice the buyers. I am three months pregnant and have horrible morning sickness. I threw up all over the living room. FML

#1189680
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47870) - you deserved it (4339)

On 04/21/2009 at 11:15am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, the $300 ring my boyfriend gave me for my birthday slipped off my finger... into the toilet. I had to sift through my own poo to get it back. FML

#1147441
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60009) - you deserved it (18013)

On 04/20/2009 at 6:05am - misc - by ohhelllllno (woman) - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, I was going 73 in a 55 on a country road when an oncoming cop passed me. He pulled a U turn. I turned off the main road and took random turns. I got lost, was 30 minutes late to work, and the cop still found me and gave me two tickets. I had to ask him for directions. FML

#1021876
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10739) - you deserved it (89181)

On 04/16/2009 at 2:52pm - work - by TheBRADLeyB (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was working as a manager of the local movie theater. This six year old came in with no parents or anyone else. When I asked him where his parents were he looked at me and said, "Shut up white boy, I don't have to listen to your shit." I just got told by a six year old. FML

#958764
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61109) - you deserved it (6912)

On 04/13/2009 at 8:44pm - work - by brad3720 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was babysitting my neighbor's kid. We were playing in the yard, when he fell and got a small scratch on his leg. I gasp, and he takes a huge breath in and yells, "FUUUCK!!!" as loud as possible. The parents thought it was me, and the mother slapped me in the face. FML

#900029
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66475) - you deserved it (3023)

On 04/10/2009 at 11:35am - kids - by mandy (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was sent to an elementary school for safety day. One of the dads was asking about my job, when I told him about the long hours and high stress involved. He turned to his son and said "Now see why you stay in school?" I'm a paramedic. With a bachelor's degree. FML

#899104
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52356) - you deserved it (2704)

On 04/10/2009 at 10:07am - work - by Franco (man) - United States

Today, we had a school assembly at 7:00 pm about drinking and driving. There was a cop doing a demonstration of a field sobriety test on stage. I was randomly selected to perform a breathalyzer test in front of all the students and parents. I blew 0.06. FML

#855959
267 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22638) - you deserved it (94658)

On 04/07/2009 at 4:44pm - health - by schoolgrlstaci (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was waitering at the restaurant that I work at when I collected a credit card bill that was worth $120 and a big zero on the tip line. Angered, I turned to a co-worker and said "I knew this asshole wasn't going to tip me." The guy was standing right behind me with $30 in his hand. FML

#833140
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20023) - you deserved it (155333)

On 04/06/2009 at 10:42am - money - by brhorton02 (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I was going on holiday. As I was checking in my bags, I said to the really cute steward, "I think I'm overweight." He told me about discounts for customers of 'larger proportions.' I was talking about my suitcase being overweight. FML

#832595
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52637) - you deserved it (16499)

On 04/06/2009 at 9:39am - health - by blahbags (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, was the first time my boyfriend slept over. He was hard, so I woke him up by whispering in his ear, "If you could get me to do anything right now, what would it be?" His response, "Can you get me a bowl of mint chocolate chip ice cream?" He was hard, for ice cream. FML

#796912
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82752) - you deserved it (13631)

On 04/04/2009 at 6:57am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Denmark (Roskilde)

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend and he brushed my hair out of my eyes. Then he smiled and said "Your eyes are two different colors right now. One's blue, one's green..." I was so happy he still noticed the little things. Then he finished his sentence with "...ya know, like a dog." FML

#780789
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56225) - you deserved it (5336)

On 04/03/2009 at 10:37am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I got on an elevator with a woman and her child. I was the first one on. When she stepped on, the capacity alarm went off. As she left she told her daughter that's why fat people shouldn't be allowed in public. I'm 145 lbs. She was twice my size. I got called fat by a hippopotamus. FML

#721846
314 comments

I agree, your life sucks (183170) - you deserved it (12318)

On 03/31/2009 at 10:17am - health - by warp_routine (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I volunteered at a nursing home. I approached a lonely, old man who had a type of nervous tick. I went over to speak to him, and not even four sentences into our conversation he says, "I'd really like to make love to you." What I thought was a tick was actually him stroking himself. FML

#697390
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64274) - you deserved it (4032)

On 03/30/2009 at 2:10am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I finally convinced a girl that I liked to have sex. I decided to swoop her off the feet like the movies and carry her to my bed. I ended up hitting her head on the door frame, knocking her out. FML

#681492
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26648) - you deserved it (80637)

On 03/29/2009 at 3:09pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)



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