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mustang95

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mustang95
  • Town/Country : united states
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 15 August 1995 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 2434
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About mustang95 : Just you average southern country boy. Message me if you have any questions.

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Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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mustang95's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to the circus with my family. When we were looking at the animals during the break, an elephant took my purse with his trunk and ate it. It crushed my cellphone, camera, keys and wallet. After that, the circus director yelled at me for feeding poisonous stuff to his elephant. FML

#19769177
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24109) - you deserved it (4289)

On 06/11/2012 at 3:14am - animals - by ILoveAnimals (woman) - Austria (Wien)

Today, I went to meet my girlfriend's parents at her sister's play. The moment I introduced myself, I realized that her father was my probation officer. FML

#19764456
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28264) - you deserved it (17198)

On 06/10/2012 at 5:16am - love - by fernie vazquez - United States (California)

Today, while at my cosmetics job, an elderly lady came up to me asking for a product. I told her we had a smaller size and a larger size for a better deal. She told me she wanted the smaller size because she'd "probably be dead" before she finished that one. I laughed. She was serious. FML

#19764407
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18580) - you deserved it (3391)

On 06/10/2012 at 4:47am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, while driving home from work, I noticed the driver next to me was happily chatting on her phone. I fucking despise these would-be murderers, so I slammed my horn to signal my disgust. She panicked and swerved straight into my car. FML

#19761420
410 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15960) - you deserved it (55050)

On 06/09/2012 at 5:35pm - misc - by k - United Kingdom (Telford and Wrekin)

Today, I saw my mom changing the expiry date on milk. She genuinely thought this would make the milk sour later. FML

#19759587
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23110) - you deserved it (1729)

On 06/09/2012 at 9:54am - health - by WTF (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I got a really bad sunburn. On my eyelids. Who knew blinking could be so painful? FML

#19758610
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20632) - you deserved it (3971)

On 06/09/2012 at 1:54am - misc - by donnap (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was in a business meeting. I was giving a Powerpoint presentation to my boss and a few other associates. Then a notification popped up in the middle of my presentation reminding me that I needed to renew my pornhub subscription. FML

#19754220
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10206) - you deserved it (32026)

On 06/08/2012 at 7:58am - work - by WaffleMan (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my sister, knowing that I'm terrified of his face, taped a picture of Michael Jackson over our toilet. When I entered the washroom, I sprinted back out screaming. Minutes later, while in the shower, I happened to glance up at the ceiling. Guess who was grinning down at me. FML

#19753089
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23220) - you deserved it (7773)

On 06/08/2012 at 12:35am - misc - by ugh - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after having sex with my girlfriend, I jokingly held the condom above my mouth. Somehow, the condom busted, and everything went over my face. Worse still, we're now wondering just how safe this condom really was. FML

#19743887
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12254) - you deserved it (34263)

On 06/06/2012 at 12:02pm - intimacy - by Rob (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, a man on the bus questioned my sexuality for being a male nurse. I asked him what he did and he said he worked in a garage. When I pointed out that I work with sexy nurses all day and he works with sweaty guys, he punched me in the stomach. FML

#19743527
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33926) - you deserved it (5623)

On 06/06/2012 at 10:19am - misc - by Bishop (man) -

Today, I caught a coworker at my new job staring at my chest. Trying not to rock the boat, I took him aside and asked him to stop. He insisted he was just trying to read my shirt. Our company uniforms don't have writing on them. FML

#19728226
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18056) - you deserved it (2203)

On 06/03/2012 at 6:41pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend picked me up to take me on a date. Just as we were about to drive away, my dad ran out of the house in his underwear and started yelling that he'd kill my boyfriend if I wasn't back home within the hour. FML

#19726359
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21044) - you deserved it (1722)

On 06/03/2012 at 12:13pm - love - by mothtal (woman) - Bulgaria

Today, I was playing an online game in nothing but my boxers, when suddenly a girl joined my team. I immediately felt embarrassed and put some pants on. There were no webcams involved. I need to get out more. FML

#19713389
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13463) - you deserved it (9012)

On 06/01/2012 at 12:48am - misc - by furred (man) - Philippines

Today, I had to sneak out of work to get my daughter from her school. Apparently, she had thought that hurling a bowling ball down the stairs during the lunch hour rush would make her cool. In actual fact, it made her expelled. FML

#19704812
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20695) - you deserved it (2299)

On 05/30/2012 at 2:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Vale of Glamorgan, The)

Today, my wife and I convened our families for a joint dinner, followed by me breaking the news that my wife is pregnant. My father visibly scoffed, and my grandfather spent the rest of the evening muttering to him about how "breeders should be shot". Wonderful. FML

#19704356
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18976) - you deserved it (1907)

On 05/30/2012 at 12:45pm - kids - by unzucht (man) - Romania (Bucuresti)



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