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mustang95

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mustang95
  • Town/Country : united states
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 15 August 1995 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 2469
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About mustang95 : Just you average southern country boy. Message me if you have any questions.

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Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

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mustang95's favorite FMLs

Today, my 14-year-old daughter came home after sneaking out and partying. She was totally drunk, and started crying on my shoulder because some boy named "Thomas" has a small dick, and she had to fake an orgasm. FML

#20419819
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75813) - you deserved it (23129)

On 12/24/2012 at 10:03pm - intimacy - by valnaj1 (woman) - Denmark (Syddanmark)

Today, as her parents were supposed to be out of town, I stayed over with my girlfriend, and we ended up in bed together. Later on, while poking through the fridge, I heard footsteps, so I said, "Didn't think you'd be walking after that." I closed the fridge and saw her dad. FML

#20418714
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41633) - you deserved it (23017)

On 12/24/2012 at 1:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, I walked in on my son and his friend comparing their penis sizes. They're 6. FML

#20415295
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30134) - you deserved it (3736)

On 12/23/2012 at 1:02am - misc - by oh my son - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my car window got smashed in. The cop that came to take the report said they'd already caught the guy doing it, he'd smashed in several other car windows, all of the exact same model and color. His reason for doing it was simple: he was drunk and "hated red Jeeps". FML

#20403025
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29188) - you deserved it (3186)

On 12/17/2012 at 12:08am - misc - by Cold (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had to do a presentation in front of my entire school. I was very nervous, so I used the old trick of picturing everyone naked. Everyone then got a good view of my erection. FML

#20199177
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26119) - you deserved it (9914)

On 12/10/2012 at 3:41pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, as part of my job as a swimming instructor, I had to help a teenage boy learn how to float. This involves supporting the person's back as they try to float. His boner stood straight up. FML

#20185787
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34166) - you deserved it (3199)

On 11/30/2012 at 8:02pm - intimacy - by julia (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I caught the train into the city. Halfway there some kids hopped on smelling of marijuana and alcohol. Their topic of discussion? How much pubic hair they had. FML

#20183521
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16929) - you deserved it (2524)

On 11/29/2012 at 12:40am - kids - by fabs1171 - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, a shopper approached me at Target and said, "So are you just gonna stand there to look pretty and do nothing around here?" I ignored his comment, until he got so upset that he wanted to speak to my manager. It would have been understandable if I actually worked there. FML

#20177780
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22230) - you deserved it (1569)

On 11/25/2012 at 4:07am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I walked into my house with my friend, only to discover my husband half-naked and yelling at the TV screen over a soccer game. By half-naked, I mean he was only wearing a shirt. FML

#20169569
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19117) - you deserved it (2114)

On 11/19/2012 at 2:44pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, was the day my girlfriend and I tried to 69 for the first time. Today is also the day I learned that I'm physically incapable of maintaining an erection after someone farts in my face. FML

#20163281
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44014) - you deserved it (5633)

On 11/14/2012 at 4:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was visiting family in Oregon. I did not know it was illegal to pump your own gas; the cops were involved. FML

#20159952
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22558) - you deserved it (1832)

On 11/12/2012 at 1:14am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my parents. My dad looked at him and said, "Nice outfit, but it's a little late for Halloween." Before I could intervene, my boyfriend said that joke had been done to death, to which my dad retorted, "Yeah, so has your mum." Instant fistfight. FML

#20144826
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25281) - you deserved it (2617)

On 11/02/2012 at 7:50pm - love - by for fuck sake dad (woman) - Ireland (Limerick)

Today, at work as an EMT, I was telling a panicked patient that I would be taking her vital signs. I inadvertently said that I would be taking her vital organs. FML

#20137874
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13995) - you deserved it (2475)

On 10/28/2012 at 11:10pm - work - by Medic - United States (Washington)

Today, I went on a field trip with some people from school. I'm currently confined to a wheelchair, so I had to rely on my sister to get around. She eventually went off with her friends, assuming that the people nearby would keep me company. Five minutes later, they'd all left me. FML

#20135712
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21391) - you deserved it (1562)

On 10/27/2012 at 4:04pm - misc - by left4dead (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was walking with my boyfriend when a guy walked up to me and told me I look exactly like Taylor Swift. My boyfriend punched him in the face and told him that Taylor Swift is a lot more attractive. I'm actually considering leaving him for the complete stranger. FML

#20130143
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28240) - you deserved it (2448)

On 10/23/2012 at 6:12pm - misc - by jeanrose2013 - United States (Arkansas)



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