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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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munnyfish

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munnyfish
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2925
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 60 posted

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Today, I decided it was time to lose my virginity to my boyfriend. After about ten minutes he started going faster and his stomach was slapping against mine. It was making a weird sound so I started laughing. Apparently that wasn't sexy and he went soft. My first time and we didn't even finish. FML

#9181669 (208)

I agree, your life sucks (10174) - you deserved it (22685)

On 03/18/2010 at 6:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I applied for my job, while working at my job. I hope they hire me. FML

#9171908 (117)

I agree, your life sucks (14422) - you deserved it (3795)

On 03/17/2010 at 10:12pm - work - by TheSuregeon (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I put on some goggles on in the pool, only to go underwater and see an old man 'discretely' jerking it. FML

#9152447 (166)

I agree, your life sucks (25573) - you deserved it (2833)

On 03/17/2010 at 2:12am - intimacy - by today -

Today, I was walking down the street when I heard a loud splashing noise to my right. I looked over only to see a woman not squatting but bending over, spreading her cheeks, peeing a horse-sized amount of pee. I can't un-see this. FML

#9143571 (235)

I agree, your life sucks (29211) - you deserved it (2026)

On 03/16/2010 at 9:34pm - misc - by disturbed (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, at a debate tournament based on domestic abuse, my partner yells out, "Has anyone considered that maybe the women DESERVED to be beaten?" FML

#9141842 (425)

I agree, your life sucks (29755) - you deserved it (4219)

On 03/16/2010 at 8:46pm - misc - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was so bored I googled the word "bored." The results were boring. FML

#9117281 (115)

I agree, your life sucks (6483) - you deserved it (24400)

On 03/15/2010 at 10:27pm - misc - by hiii. (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I told my parents I wanted to try modelling. I decided that since I have such a low self-esteem, that it might benefit me, and make me feel better about myself and how I look. The first thing out of my dad's mouth was, "What? Why? You're ugly." Thanks dad. FML

#9111538 (198)

I agree, your life sucks (22765) - you deserved it (4611)

On 03/15/2010 at 7:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I lost my phone. I tried to call it using my husband's phone, but couldn't figure out which of the three Kates in the contact list was me. Turns out, two are co-workers and one is his aunt. I was listed under Satan. FML

#9110965 (245)

I agree, your life sucks (30847) - you deserved it (6136)

On 03/15/2010 at 7:22pm - love - by Satan (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, the boy I like finally acknowledged me. He came up to me and uttered two words: "Nice pooper." FML

#9097770 (155)

I agree, your life sucks (12499) - you deserved it (2063)

On 03/15/2010 at 5:14am - intimacy - by shygurl434 - United States (Alaska)

Today, I started hooking up with a guy I've liked for a while. We got pretty into it and he went into my underwear, looking confused. When I asked him what was wrong, his response was: "I can't find it." FML

#9094642 (227)

I agree, your life sucks (17887) - you deserved it (2923)

On 03/15/2010 at 1:41am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, while making out with my boyfriend, he started playing with my nipples. Suddenly he stops kissing me, looks at my nipples and says, "Have they always been like this? They look like joysticks!". He then started singing the Super Mario Brother's theme song and playing the game with my nipples. FML

#9086835 (241)

I agree, your life sucks (19044) - you deserved it (3543)

On 03/14/2010 at 10:09pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I started to type up a mass text to tell a decent amount of my friends that I'd just come home to a surprise from my boyfriend. Trying to fix a typo, I accidentally hit send with the text only saying "Guess what?! I just came." FML

#9070560 (245)

I agree, your life sucks (16817) - you deserved it (7203)

On 03/14/2010 at 10:49am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me the reason he can't keep an erection while we have sex is that I'm not attractive enough. FML

#9069427 (208)

I agree, your life sucks (18390) - you deserved it (2665)

On 03/14/2010 at 9:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, after finishing the laundry, I took clothes out of the dryer and took a big whiff of their delicious clean scent. That was when I noticed that my mom was watching me, and I had just smelled my dad's still-stained underwear that was on top. FML

#9048258 (309)

I agree, your life sucks (15676) - you deserved it (6993)

On 03/13/2010 at 2:32pm - misc - by smellsgood (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I woke up crying in the middle of a nightmare in which my boyfriend of 8 months shot me through the heart whilst laughing as I screamed 'I Love You'. After I told him about this, he took me into his arms as I cried, stroked my back and said, 'What kind of gun was it?' FML

#9019177 (291)

I agree, your life sucks (21168) - you deserved it (4688)

On 03/12/2010 at 8:17am - love - by justlittleoldme (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)