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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, my mom put some bubblewrap on my desk because she thought I would have fun with it. I'm 18. It was awesome. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59013) - you deserved it (30957)
On 06/26/2009 at 2:13am - misc - by Jeweler (man) - United States (California)
Today, I found out my mom paid my best friend $20 to be my friend when we were 10. FML
I agree, your life sucks (105828) - you deserved it (4760)
On 06/07/2009 at 7:15pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, while arriving at my best friend's wedding, I accidentally ran over her 2 dogs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44722) - you deserved it (16517)
On 05/30/2009 at 2:04pm - animals - by lfssecond - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I went to the store to buy groceries. I didn't care how I looked, so I wore an old shirt that said, "Thousands of my potential children died on your daughter's face last night." I ran into my girlfriend's parents at the store. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33769) - you deserved it (109282)
On 05/24/2009 at 3:50pm - misc - by helloitsbrian6969 (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I spent the whole day seeing how many licks it would take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop: 763. I'm 24. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42787) - you deserved it (16215)
On 05/23/2009 at 12:15pm - misc - by Tootsy_Roll_Pop (man) - United States
Today, I adopted a dog from the local shelter. I put the dog in the car and he was shedding everywhere, but I was ok with that because he was my dog. As I pulled into the parking lot, the dog began to poop in the backseat of my car. When I got him out of the car, he ran off. $100 for him to poop and run away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35175) - you deserved it (7061)
On 05/19/2009 at 10:17pm - animals - by Debra2005 - United States (Texas)
Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up. It was the best orgasm I'd ever had. The trouble was, it wasn't about a hot girl, or anything sexy. It was about bacon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (139875) - you deserved it (32566)
On 05/17/2009 at 8:33am - intimacy - by wtfdreams (man) - United States (California)
Today, I woke up happier than I've ever been because last night I hooked up with the girl I have loved for almost a year and I thought I would never get with her. This morning I saw that her status on Facebook was "FML". FML
I agree, your life sucks (67899) - you deserved it (5812)
On 05/09/2009 at 4:18pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)
Today, while working as a makeup artist in the mall, I was approached by a man who wanted to try lipstick (not unusual we do a lot of drag). While I'm applying it he starts to make gross noises and after a quick glance I realize he has a massive erection. He then whispers mmmm don't stop now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (65720) - you deserved it (2753)
On 05/08/2009 at 10:53am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, there was a potluck at my girlfriend's house. I had a sour stomach, so I went to the bathroom to relieve myself. When I flushed, nothing happened. They had to call a plumber to fix the toilet filled with my crap. The whole family watched, noses plugged and faces cringed, looking at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44945) - you deserved it (3246)
On 05/07/2009 at 3:40am - misc - by mikesok988 (man) - United States (North Dakota)
Today, while watching TV, I danced, sang along, and helped Dora the Explorer get to her Grandmother's house. It was the most fun I've had all year. I'm 21. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50833) - you deserved it (21037)
On 05/04/2009 at 5:09am - kids - by Amey (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I was closing the deal on this beautiful $200k ranch in the country. The buyer soon pulls up and we get to discussing the contract terms, soon the buyer asks the seller," Wow why is this house going so cheap?" The seller replies,"Do you believe in ghosts?" There goes my $8,000 commission. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39906) - you deserved it (3834)
On 04/24/2009 at 2:27am - misc - by dontaskdonttell (man) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, my boss confessed to me that she doesn't know how to change the staples in the staplers at work, so she just switches them when they run out. We work at an office supply store. She makes six figures. I make $10 an hour. And she just got awarded a trip to Aruba for doing a "great job". FML
I agree, your life sucks (50412) - you deserved it (2130)
On 04/24/2009 at 12:36am - work - by Idiocracy (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I told my mom that I was taking antidepressants because I hate myself. She said "That's not surprising. You hate everybody. And, you're kind of a bitch." FML
I agree, your life sucks (59918) - you deserved it (16692)
On 04/20/2009 at 2:22pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I had a surgery to remove a cyst from my butt. Afterwards that doctor told me that the cyst was bigger than he initially thought, it would still secrete fluids for two weeks, and the best remedy for this was to wear a maxi-pad. I'm a guy, and am currently wearing a maxi-pad on my butt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (84091) - you deserved it (4030)
On 04/18/2009 at 10:24am - health - by Ian (man) - United States (Ohio)
Friday 24 May 2013
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