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muFilter

Offline (the 03/08/2014 at 2:00am) | Search for a member

muFilter

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 692
  • Number of comments : 145
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About muFilter : I like cats and music.

I just discovered that the full-fledged computer browser version of FML shows us who has last visited our profiles. I feel like such a creepy stalker now... So, yeah, if you stopped by then you may as well message me since I'm gonna know you were here anyway. No, but feel free to drop me a note if you want. I usually use my phone, but I'm sure I'll be more inclined to visit on my laptop now (to see who's been creeping) and will be sure to check for messages when I do.

muFilter's page activity

Visits<b>ced443</b> - the 03/12/2014 at 12:46am<b>Rababco</b> - the 01/21/2014 at 12:45am<b>bitch_plz</b> - the 09/18/2013 at 11:58pm<b>elsie96</b> - the 05/31/2013 at 1:16am<b>crewge</b> - the 03/31/2013 at 6:53pm<b>supportcommand</b> - the 02/17/2013 at 12:41am<b>snufflelump</b> - the 02/16/2013 at 11:48pm<b>carolinacortes</b> - the 02/15/2013 at 5:35pm<b>moksha</b> - the 02/15/2013 at 4:47am<b>PHATERTL</b> - the 02/14/2013 at 9:18am<b>evilvagina</b> - the 02/13/2013 at 4:00am<b>oj101</b> - the 01/18/2013 at 11:39pm<b>lmc94</b> - the 08/18/2012 at 1:02am<b>titzenpitzer</b> - the 07/07/2012 at 7:42pm<b>devil_laugh</b> - the 05/29/2012 at 7:23pm<b>A83</b> - the 05/29/2012 at 3:11am<b>Stargazer34</b> - the 05/14/2012 at 7:12am<b>Kaito_Hacker</b> - the 05/13/2012 at 6:39pm

muFilter's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of muFilter's badges

muFilter's favorite FMLs

Today, my wife woke me up by giving my erect penis a Chinese burn. FML

#19540366
251 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27237) - you deserved it (3077)

On 04/28/2012 at 12:42am - intimacy - by poo4brains - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, I entered a hotdog eating contest. I made it up to two, threw up on the rest of them, and fell over. FML

#19535515
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7282) - you deserved it (24878)

On 04/27/2012 at 12:29am - health - by Weak Disposition (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I woke up to a really cold feeling down below. I opened my eyes and saw my girlfriend grinning like a maniac and holding my crotch-sausage between two scissor blades. I screamed in terror like a little bitch, and she says I'm never gonna live this down. FML

#19506149
427 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41912) - you deserved it (3829)

On 04/21/2012 at 1:38pm - intimacy - by Hakimstah (man) - Lebanon

Today, my mum bought a phone. Since teaching her how to text, I have received 27 messages, repeatedly saying the word "penis". FML

#19505040
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21830) - you deserved it (4177)

On 04/21/2012 at 5:26am - misc - by jaderie - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had to put one of my preschool students in timeout for masturbating during nap time. FML

#19486028
325 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37540) - you deserved it (3532)

On 04/17/2012 at 8:07pm - intimacy - by lindsaykay - United States

Today, I held up my best friend with a lighter shaped like a gun, and jokingly accused him of sleeping with my wife, only to have him admit that he really did. FML

#19477249
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47224) - you deserved it (5189)

On 04/16/2012 at 4:12am - intimacy - by oface13 (man) - United States

Today, I was watching a boys volleyball team warming up, and I had my eye on one of them who was quite attractive. He sent the ball a little too far and it hit me in the face. He apologized, and I then for some reason replied with, "It's fine, I like balls in my face." FML

#19475030
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19160) - you deserved it (36702)

On 04/15/2012 at 9:13pm - intimacy - by lifeonfire12 (woman) - Canada

Today, I told my girlfriend that I would still care for her if she was a vegetable. She informed me that if I was a potato, she would cut me into chips. And fry me. FML

#19459433
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20300) - you deserved it (6395)

On 04/13/2012 at 12:46am - love - by jesifairy - Australia

Today, while my mom was driving me to work, we drove past a lake with an old wooden dock. She stopped the car, pointed and said, "Some guy fucked me right there. I got a splinter in my butt, though, so we finished in his car." FML

#19443097
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36133) - you deserved it (2787)

On 04/10/2012 at 1:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out that my boyfriend is afraid of female orgasms. Right as I was about to climax, he panicked, pulled out, and ran into the bathroom. FML

#19410577
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36368) - you deserved it (2997)

On 04/05/2012 at 2:47am - intimacy - by displeased - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, when his sister knocked on the door and asked if she could borrow the zombie movie we were watching after we were done with it. We weren't watching a movie; I was just moaning. FML

#19406628
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12585) - you deserved it (29601)

On 04/04/2012 at 1:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was making love to my boyfriend, when he said "I love you, baby." I told him to go deeper, but instead of doing so, he decided to completely kill the mood by stopping and saying it again in a Barry White type voice. FML

#19388939
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22113) - you deserved it (9312)

On 04/01/2012 at 2:38pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States

Today, I read an article with tips on how to give girls full-body orgasms and I decided to test a few on my girlfriend. Instead of having a mind-blowing orgasm, she started cackling and said I looked like a giraffe trying to bob for apples. FML

#19352166
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21923) - you deserved it (5277)

On 03/26/2012 at 4:56pm - intimacy - by JC (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was fooling around with my husband on the bed. I was excited as he lifted my arms up in a seductive way, only to roll deodorant under my armpits. FML

#19337633
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12720) - you deserved it (32523)

On 03/24/2012 at 8:14am - intimacy - by SG - United States

Today, I found out that my resume contained the word "masturbation" in the skills section, courtesy of a practical joke by my best friend. I have been using this CV unsuccessfully for over two months. FML

#19270252
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29177) - you deserved it (7295)

On 03/13/2012 at 8:51am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)



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Friday 19 September 2014

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