Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Offline (the 02/10/2015 at 12:15pm) | Search for a member
About muFilter : I like cats and music.
I just discovered that the full-fledged computer browser version of FML shows us who has last visited our profiles. I feel like such a creepy stalker now... So, yeah, if you stopped by then you may as well message me since I'm gonna know you were here anyway. No, but feel free to drop me a note if you want. I usually use my phone, but I'm sure I'll be more inclined to visit on my laptop now (to see who's been creeping) and will be sure to check for messages when I do.
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
100 kick ass comments
100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Today, I woke up to a really cold feeling down below. I opened my eyes and saw my girlfriend grinning like a maniac and holding my crotch-sausage between two scissor blades. I screamed in terror like a little bitch, and she says I'm never gonna live this down. FML
Today, I was watching a boys volleyball team warming up, and I had my eye on one of them who was quite attractive. He sent the ball a little too far and it hit me in the face. He apologized, and I then for some reason replied with, "It's fine, I like balls in my face." FML
Today, while my mom was driving me to work, we drove past a lake with an old wooden dock. She stopped the car, pointed and said, "Some guy fucked me right there. I got a splinter in my butt, though, so we finished in his car." FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, when his sister knocked on the door and asked if she could borrow the zombie movie we were watching after we were done with it. We weren't watching a movie; I was just moaning. FML
Today, I was making love to my boyfriend, when he said "I love you, baby." I told him to go deeper, but instead of doing so, he decided to completely kill the mood by stopping and saying it again in a Barry White type voice. FML
Today, I read an article with tips on how to give girls full-body orgasms and I decided to test a few on my girlfriend. Instead of having a mind-blowing orgasm, she started cackling and said I looked like a giraffe trying to bob for apples. FML
Today, I found out that my resume contained the word "masturbation" in the skills section, courtesy of a practical joke by my best friend. I have been using this CV unsuccessfully for over two months. FML
Thursday 23 April 2015