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muFilter
  • Town/Country : A City, United States of America
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 547
  • Number of comments : 145
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About muFilter : I like cats and music.

I just discovered that the full-fledged computer browser version of FML shows us who has last visited our profiles. I feel like such a creepy stalker now... So, yeah, if you stopped by then you may as well message me since I'm gonna know you were here anyway. No, but feel free to drop me a note if you want. I usually use my phone, but I'm sure I'll be more inclined to visit on my laptop now (to see who's been creeping) and will be sure to check for messages when I do.

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You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

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muFilter's favorite FMLs

Today, my wife woke me up by giving my erect penis a Chinese burn. FML

#19540366
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20808) - you deserved it (2162)

On 04/28/2012 at 12:42am - intimacy - by poo4brains - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, I entered a hotdog eating contest. I made it up to two, threw up on the rest of them, and fell over. FML

#19535515
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5875) - you deserved it (21479)

On 04/27/2012 at 12:29am - health - by Weak Disposition (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I woke up to a really cold feeling down below. I opened my eyes and saw my girlfriend grinning like a maniac and holding my crotch-sausage between two scissor blades. I screamed in terror like a little bitch, and she says I'm never gonna live this down. FML

#19506149
426 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38702) - you deserved it (3515)

On 04/21/2012 at 1:38pm - intimacy - by Hakimstah (man) - Lebanon

Today, my mum bought a phone. Since teaching her how to text, I have received 27 messages, repeatedly saying the word "penis". FML

#19505040
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20435) - you deserved it (4030)

On 04/21/2012 at 5:26am - misc - by jaderie - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had to put one of my preschool students in timeout for masturbating during nap time. FML

#19486028
323 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35875) - you deserved it (3392)

On 04/17/2012 at 8:07pm - intimacy - by lindsaykay - United States

Today, I held up my best friend with a lighter shaped like a gun, and jokingly accused him of sleeping with my wife, only to have him admit that he really did. FML

#19477249
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44617) - you deserved it (4944)

On 04/16/2012 at 4:12am - intimacy - by oface13 (man) - United States

Today, I was watching a boys volleyball team warming up, and I had my eye on one of them who was quite attractive. He sent the ball a little too far and it hit me in the face. He apologized, and I then for some reason replied with, "It's fine, I like balls in my face." FML

#19475030
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14692) - you deserved it (25595)

On 04/15/2012 at 9:13pm - intimacy - by lifeonfire12 (woman) - Canada

Today, I told my girlfriend that I would still care for her if she was a vegetable. She informed me that if I was a potato, she would cut me into chips. And fry me. FML

#19459433
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18352) - you deserved it (6065)

On 04/13/2012 at 12:46am - love - by jesifairy - Australia

Today, while my mom was driving me to work, we drove past a lake with an old wooden dock. She stopped the car, pointed and said, "Some guy fucked me right there. I got a splinter in my butt, though, so we finished in his car." FML

#19443097
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33036) - you deserved it (2518)

On 04/10/2012 at 1:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out that my boyfriend is afraid of female orgasms. Right as I was about to climax, he panicked, pulled out, and ran into the bathroom. FML

#19410577
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33699) - you deserved it (2758)

On 04/05/2012 at 2:47am - intimacy - by displeased - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, when his sister knocked on the door and asked if she could borrow the zombie movie we were watching after we were done with it. We weren't watching a movie; I was just moaning. FML

#19406628
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11343) - you deserved it (27707)

On 04/04/2012 at 1:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was making love to my boyfriend, when he said "I love you, baby." I told him to go deeper, but instead of doing so, he decided to completely kill the mood by stopping and saying it again in a Barry White type voice. FML

#19388939
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19945) - you deserved it (8945)

On 04/01/2012 at 2:38pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States

Today, I read an article with tips on how to give girls full-body orgasms and I decided to test a few on my girlfriend. Instead of having a mind-blowing orgasm, she started cackling and said I looked like a giraffe trying to bob for apples. FML

#19352166
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18711) - you deserved it (4834)

On 03/26/2012 at 4:56pm - intimacy - by JC (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was fooling around with my husband on the bed. I was excited as he lifted my arms up in a seductive way, only to roll deodorant under my armpits. FML

#19337633
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11803) - you deserved it (31045)

On 03/24/2012 at 8:14am - intimacy - by SG - United States

Today, I found out that my resume contained the word "masturbation" in the skills section, courtesy of a practical joke by my best friend. I have been using this CV unsuccessfully for over two months. FML

#19270252
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27449) - you deserved it (7014)

On 03/13/2012 at 8:51am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)



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