muFilter

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Offline (the 02/10/2015 at 12:15pm)

muFilter

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 1280
  • Number of comments : 145
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About muFilter : I like cats and music.

I just discovered that the full-fledged computer browser version of FML shows us who has last visited our profiles. I feel like such a creepy stalker now... So, yeah, if you stopped by then you may as well message me since I'm gonna know you were here anyway. No, but feel free to drop me a note if you want. I usually use my phone, but I'm sure I'll be more inclined to visit on my laptop now (to see who's been creeping) and will be sure to check for messages when I do.

muFilter's page activity

Visits<b>Joshwarrior</b> - the 03/10/2016 at 1:17am<b>EevieBear</b> - the 01/10/2016 at 11:14pm<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/04/2015 at 6:54pm<b>ThatOneChick856</b> - the 06/20/2015 at 7:10pm<b>ced443</b> - the 03/12/2014 at 12:46am<b>Rababco</b> - the 01/21/2014 at 12:45am<b>bitch_plz</b> - the 09/18/2013 at 11:58pm<b>elsie96</b> - the 05/31/2013 at 1:16am<b>crewge</b> - the 03/31/2013 at 6:53pm<b>supportcommand</b> - the 02/17/2013 at 12:41am<b>snufflelump</b> - the 02/16/2013 at 11:48pm<b>carolinacortes</b> - the 02/15/2013 at 5:35pm<b>PHATERTL</b> - the 02/14/2013 at 9:18am<b>evilvagina</b> - the 02/13/2013 at 4:00am<b>oj101</b> - the 01/18/2013 at 11:39pm<b>lmc94</b> - the 08/18/2012 at 1:02am<b>titzenpitzer</b> - the 07/07/2012 at 7:42pm<b>devil_laugh</b> - the 05/29/2012 at 7:23pm

Fucked!<b>Joshwarrior</b> - the 03/10/2016 at 7:17am<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/05/2015 at 12:54am

muFilter's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of muFilter's badges

muFilter's favorite FMLs

Today, my wife woke me up by giving my erect penis a Chinese burn. FML

by poo4brains / 04/28/2012 at 12:42am / New Zealand (Canterbury) / Intimacy

Today, I entered a hotdog eating contest. I made it up to two, threw up on the rest of them, and fell over. FML

by Weak Disposition / 04/27/2012 at 12:29am / United States (Virginia) / Health

Today, I woke up to a really cold feeling down below. I opened my eyes and saw my girlfriend grinning like a maniac and holding my crotch-sausage between two scissor blades. I screamed in terror like a little bitch, and she says I'm never gonna live this down. FML

by Hakimstah / 04/21/2012 at 1:38pm / Lebanon / Intimacy

Today, my mum bought a phone. Since teaching her how to text, I have received 27 messages, repeatedly saying the word "penis". FML

by jaderie / 04/21/2012 at 5:26am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to put one of my preschool students in timeout for masturbating during nap time. FML

by lindsaykay / 04/17/2012 at 8:07pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I held up my best friend with a lighter shaped like a gun, and jokingly accused him of sleeping with my wife, only to have him admit that he really did. FML

by oface13 / 04/16/2012 at 4:12am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was watching a boys volleyball team warming up, and I had my eye on one of them who was quite attractive. He sent the ball a little too far and it hit me in the face. He apologized, and I then for some reason replied with, "It's fine, I like balls in my face." FML

by lifeonfire12 / 04/15/2012 at 9:13pm / Canada / Intimacy

Today, I told my girlfriend that I would still care for her if she was a vegetable. She informed me that if I was a potato, she would cut me into chips. And fry me. FML

by jesifairy / 04/13/2012 at 12:46am / Australia / Love

Today, while my mom was driving me to work, we drove past a lake with an old wooden dock. She stopped the car, pointed and said, "Some guy fucked me right there. I got a splinter in my butt, though, so we finished in his car." FML

by Anonymous / 04/10/2012 at 1:47pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I found out that my boyfriend is afraid of female orgasms. Right as I was about to climax, he panicked, pulled out, and ran into the bathroom. FML

by displeased / 04/05/2012 at 2:47am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, when his sister knocked on the door and asked if she could borrow the zombie movie we were watching after we were done with it. We weren't watching a movie; I was just moaning. FML

by Anonymous / 04/04/2012 at 1:45pm / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy

Today, I was making love to my boyfriend, when he said "I love you, baby." I told him to go deeper, but instead of doing so, he decided to completely kill the mood by stopping and saying it again in a Barry White type voice. FML

by anonymous / 04/01/2012 at 2:38pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I read an article with tips on how to give girls full-body orgasms and I decided to test a few on my girlfriend. Instead of having a mind-blowing orgasm, she started cackling and said I looked like a giraffe trying to bob for apples. FML

by JC / 03/26/2012 at 4:56pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy

Today, I was fooling around with my husband on the bed. I was excited as he lifted my arms up in a seductive way, only to roll deodorant under my armpits. FML

by SG / 03/24/2012 at 8:14am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I found out that my resume contained the word "masturbation" in the skills section, courtesy of a practical joke by my best friend. I have been using this CV unsuccessfully for over two months. FML

by Anonymous / 03/13/2012 at 8:51am / Netherlands (Noord-Holland) / Intimacy