About msw24 : 16 year old living in PDX, trying to find my way and weave through the river that is high school.
msw24's FML badges
You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
msw24's favorite FMLs
by Nomoretexting / 11/01/2009 at 12:35am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, I was flying home from LAX when I realized I left my ID back at the hotel. After making phone calls to the hotel and rental car company, I found it and made it back to the airport in time for my flight. After going through security, I realized I left my cell phone on the hotel counter. FML
by LAXsucks / 10/19/2009 at 9:10pm / United States (Oregon) / Transportation
Today, my mother said she trusted me enough to go with me for my first drive in my new car. As soon as we got in the car, she started hyperventilating and screaming we're going to crash. I didn't even start the engine. FML
by Anonymous / 10/10/2009 at 1:53pm / United Kingdom (West Berkshire) / Transportation
Today, I got an email from the company that manages my cat's microchip informing me that I had to update my information that had been entered by the local Humane Society. Apparently, they listed my cat "Coral" as the owner, and me as the pet. To change it, they needed the cat's signature. FML
by APetsPet / 10/05/2009 at 3:23pm / United States (Florida) / Animals
by screwwyou / 09/27/2009 at 9:16pm / United States (Michigan) / Love
Today, I was home alone and I started to sing Halo by Beyonce. I was starting to get into it and began singing with more passion until the phone rang. It was my neighbor begging me to please shut the hell up. FML
by Ricky / 08/16/2009 at 9:00pm / United States (Arkansas) / Miscellaneous
by BeboKhaos / 08/03/2009 at 10:37pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on his couch when suddenly I tried to get up. Before I could stand, he grabs onto me and says, "I'm a koala and you're my eucalyptus tree!" He then continued to latch onto me for a good five minutes pretending to eat my hair. FML
by treegirl / 07/26/2009 at 1:57am / United States / Love
by OhGeez / 06/08/2009 at 3:41pm / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Intimacy
Today, my 3-year-old said, "Mommy, I can share my teddy grahams with you." I said, "Thanks, honey, you're so sweet." And I ate a few. When I popped the last one in my mouth, I said, "Oh no, all gone!" She said, "That's okay, I have more." Then pulled the next handful out of her underwear. FML
by chelserusera / 05/13/2009 at 9:45pm / United States (Texas) / Kids
Today, I baked a chicken pot pie in the oven. I pulled it out, and noticed a big piece of tasty-looking, flaky pastry had come loose. Without thinking I ripped it off and popped it into my mouth. I HEARD the skin on the inside of my cheeks burn. FML
by Anonymous / 05/07/2009 at 8:09am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was about to lose my virginity with my girlfriend of 2 years, when I got an urgent phone call from my 9-year-old sister, telling me I had to come home immediately. My grandma fell off the toilet and got stuck between the bowl and the wall. I'm not making this up. FML
by Anonymous / 05/03/2009 at 7:22pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, I was running down the hallway when a door opens and hits me right on the face. I'm sitting there with my nose bleeding and a huge bump forming on my head. The guy who comes out is hugely fat, tries to help me up, trips, and falls on me. I accidentally groped his moobs while trying to push him off. FML
by LizLiao / 04/14/2009 at 3:50am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I woke up to 70 new text messages and 100 calls all from numbers I didn't know. The night before I got into a heated argument with my old best friend about who was prettier. She got mad and posted my number on Craigslist as a prostitute. Apparently I won. FML
by Anonymous / 03/31/2009 at 9:48am / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy
Today, I was talking to my grandmother, who was lying down on the couch under a blanket watching TV. As I was leaving, I said "See you later Nana," and patted her on the shoulder. Her shoulder was soft, and moved more than I expected. It was her boob. I felt up my grandma. FML
by Noname / 03/13/2009 at 11:49am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous