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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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msrock

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msrock
  • Town/Country : USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 10242
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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msrock's favorite FMLs

Today, while shopping in the FML store I bought the "Retro Sport Tee," I didn't notice you are suppose to put your own "FML" on the shirt. Mine says "Today, Your Text Here FML." FML

#2459150 (196)

I agree, your life sucks (16348) - you deserved it (54641)

On 05/31/2009 at 8:03am - misc - by deucelututi - United States (New York)

Today, I left the sliding glass door to our townhouse open because it was such a beautiful day. Our new puppy, whom we have been potty training, peed in the yard and I praised him relentlessly. He then walked inside the house, pooped on the carpet, and ran back outside. FML

#1590703 (102)

I agree, your life sucks (35972) - you deserved it (4973)

On 05/03/2009 at 12:07pm - misc - by lalibear (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was in the grocery store buying a few things. A sales associate came over the intercom system saying, "Attention Safeway customers. If you drive a blue Subaru, it's rolling into 18th Ave." Everyone laughed except me. I forgot to set the brake. FML

#1582380 (87)

I agree, your life sucks (13743) - you deserved it (31316)

On 05/03/2009 at 1:35am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was in a tour group going through a cave and our guide stopped, turned off the lights, and told us to be quiet so we could feel absolute silence. I farted. FML

#1224721 (195)

I agree, your life sucks (21034) - you deserved it (41764)

On 04/22/2009 at 3:10pm - misc - by fartmaster (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I celebrated my 21st birthday. My boyfriend of almost 3 years gave me a big pink vibrator. Thinking it was a joke I said: "I won't need this as long as I have you!" His reply: "That's what I wanted to talk to you about." FML

#1079164 (167)

I agree, your life sucks (83788) - you deserved it (3581)

On 04/18/2009 at 3:20am - love - by mylifesucks (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

Today, I was taking an exam and I knew I was unprepared, so I wrote some cheat notes on my ankle. As I cross my legs to look at my notes, I realize I wore tall boots to class. I can't even cheat properly. FML

#1018681 (163)

I agree, your life sucks (9762) - you deserved it (90984)

On 04/16/2009 at 12:21pm - misc - by Joe (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had horrible pains in my stomache area so I went to the doctors. They couldn't find anything wrong and sent me to the Emergency Room for X-rays. After spending the entire day in the hospital, they tell me I'm slightly constipated. I had to pay $400 to find out I had to take a shit. FML

#973952 (177)

I agree, your life sucks (25232) - you deserved it (38327)

On 04/14/2009 at 4:40pm - misc - by blehh (man) - United States

Today, I asked my girl friend of a year and a half to give me a blow job. She replied okay and bent down and blew on my penis. Then she looked up at me and said was that good. She was serious. FML

#909616 (350)

I agree, your life sucks (57260) - you deserved it (14845)

On 04/11/2009 at 12:12am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I told my ex boyfriend I lost 20 lbs because of the stress of the break up. His response was "you're welcome." FML

#889567 (211)

I agree, your life sucks (41932) - you deserved it (18605)

On 04/09/2009 at 6:11pm - misc - by blutownie13 - United States

Today, I was playing with my pet hamster and I decided to put it down my pants for fun. It started running around and I actually got aroused. My mom then walked into my room to see me with an erection and my pet hamster poking his head out of the hole in my boxers. FML

#878433 (735)

I agree, your life sucks (29256) - you deserved it (210174)

On 04/08/2009 at 10:14pm - intimacy - by hammylove (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my girlfriend told me that she had an ultrasound tomorrow morning. With a confused look on my face, she said to me "don't worry, it's not yours." FML

#871042 (145)

I agree, your life sucks (84025) - you deserved it (3349)

On 04/08/2009 at 1:43pm - misc - by Crazy09 - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got back my math test. Instead of taking the time to mark the mistakes, my professor just circled the bottom half of the page and wrote "OMG." FML

#853708 (244)

I agree, your life sucks (173) - you deserved it (18647)

On 04/07/2009 at 2:37pm - work - by aviators (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was in my room with the door locked and my mom knocked on the door. I said "don't come in, i'm naked!" She said "That's okay!" so she unlocked the door and walked in. I was masturbating. FML

#694537 (196)

I agree, your life sucks (73086) - you deserved it (26220)

On 03/29/2009 at 11:49pm - intimacy - by Cynical (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, this girl and I were chilling in my apartment and things got heated up and we started making out. One thing lead to another and the next thing I knew she was giving me head. I was getting ready to bust when she stopped, looked up into my eyes and said "Do you believe in Jesus?" FML

#618909 (375)

I agree, your life sucks (138235) - you deserved it (18734)

On 03/26/2009 at 7:41am - intimacy - by JAY22 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was in spanish class, having a debate about the death penalty. When I went to make a point, I meant to say "La pena de muerte", which means "The death penalty". I said, "La pene de muerte". Turns out that means, "The penis of death". FML

#206263 (138)

I agree, your life sucks (19685) - you deserved it (34223)

On 03/04/2009 at 12:42pm - misc - by Señor Guapo (man) - United States (Missouri)