This member hasn't filled in the description.
Judgmental
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Socialite
You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
Today, my friends and I were talking about the creepy stranger that used to stalk me back in high school. I guess his looks changed a lot through the years because I found out that he's my current boyfriend of 4 months. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50245) - you deserved it (15457)
On 05/24/2013 at 10:00am - love - by datgirl92 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, at work, I was trying to get the octopus out of its tank to transfer it to another one. It instantly latched to my face and sprayed ink all over me. My boss told me to stop playing with the animals. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44058) - you deserved it (4523)
On 05/10/2013 at 8:37am - animals - by FenRackety (man) - Canada
Today, I told my family I'm going shopping with my friend "Emma". My sister's been teasing me about this saying, "Emma can't exist! She's not real! You don't have any friends." She's right. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38507) - you deserved it (11220)
On 05/08/2013 at 9:22pm - misc - by 19kwhatever (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, while packing for a trip, my mom bumped my bag and it started to vibrate. She flew into a huge rage calling me all sorts of colourful names, thinking it was a sex toy. It was my tooth brush. FML
I agree, your life sucks (57527) - you deserved it (3762)
On 05/08/2013 at 10:44am - intimacy - by oops - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I did my small part to help the environment by hanging my clothes outside to dry rather than using the dryer. The birds showed their appreciation by crapping on the majority of my clothes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36689) - you deserved it (10553)
On 05/07/2013 at 1:10pm - animals - by hitchcock2013 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my boyfriend forced me to do stretching exercises with him before and after sex as a "safety precaution". FML
I agree, your life sucks (42520) - you deserved it (6733)
On 05/06/2013 at 3:58pm - intimacy - by stretchy - United States (Maryland)
Today, I woke up to the sound of my newborn screaming. I frantically hopped out of bed and stumbled into the nursery where I was met by the priceless sight of my five-year-old daughter attempting to breastfeed her understandably frustrated little brother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (57632) - you deserved it (4844)
On 05/06/2013 at 2:29am - kids - by SkeetinKeaton (man) - United States
Today, I walked into the living room to find my 11-year-old daughter about to kiss her "not my boyfriend" on the lips. When I asked what she thought she was doing, she peeled a piece of scotch tape off her lips and said, "It's okay! We're using protection." FML
I agree, your life sucks (59897) - you deserved it (8332)
On 05/04/2013 at 8:51am - kids - by wtfmama (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, my wife told me that getting in the mood to have sex with me is like trying to get in the mood to hit the treadmill. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47114) - you deserved it (5889)
On 05/03/2013 at 8:13am - intimacy - by Who1s269 (man) - United States
Today, my mom accused me of being pregnant. She wouldn't believe me when I told her I'm a virgin, and she challenged me to take a pregnancy test. It came back with a false positive. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52331) - you deserved it (3387)
On 05/01/2013 at 1:23pm - health - by DemiRawrs - United States
Today, I finally hooked up with the guy that I have been in love with forever. If there is such a thing as soul mates, this guy is it. He's my best friend in the whole world. It was the worst sex I have ever had. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52187) - you deserved it (9671)
On 04/25/2013 at 1:33am - intimacy - by Live Sweet -
Today, I had to convince my husband that I'm not having an affair all because I refused to have sex with him. Apparently the fact that I gave birth to our twins 10 days ago isn't a good enough reason to turn him down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (63713) - you deserved it (5695)
On 04/21/2013 at 6:20am - intimacy - by loving wife - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I was on hold with the cable company for an hour. When I finally got someone, I walked into the kitchen to where it was quiet and slid across the floor, falling on my butt and losing my connection on the phone. My 2-year-old son had sprayed the floor with nonstick cooking spray. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37797) - you deserved it (4978)
On 04/18/2013 at 7:26am - kids - by cowgirl927 - United States
Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate for the first time. A few hours later, we discovered he's highly allergic to my Summer's Eve soap. He looks like he's been attacked by bees. Yay for losing my v-card. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37967) - you deserved it (5911)
On 04/16/2013 at 7:21pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was watching a movie with my parents when a sex scene came on. As if that wasn't awkward enough, they started making out on the couch behind me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48027) - you deserved it (3267)
On 04/06/2013 at 10:15am - intimacy - by ohgodwhy - Canada (Ontario)
Monday 17 June 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
