Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

mrszane93

Search for a member

mrszane93
  • Town/Country : Louisiana, United States
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Friday 18 June 1993 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 1391
  • Number of comments : 70
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About mrszane93 : I'm 19 and in college. On FML because it passes time. It's also funny and I need a good laugh every now and then.

mrszane93's last visitors

sleepypersonDarkestsoulfurrymoneyEmyamehailleylynnEllaJSwiftieEdogg215

mrszane93's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of mrszane93's badges

mrszane93's favorite FMLs

Today, I was riding my bike on the side of the road because there was no sidewalk. Then a car with a loud horn honked at me. Pissed off, I turned around and screamed "shut the fuck up!" It was my girlfriend's parents saying hi. FML

#3349914
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11550) - you deserved it (57479)

On 06/29/2009 at 11:01pm - misc - by ZZ - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to announce to my son that I am pregnant again. After I told him, he looks up and yells: "fuck this shit!" and walks out of the room. My son is nine years old. FML

#3261545
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60733) - you deserved it (25386)

On 06/27/2009 at 12:05am - kids - by poormom (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, at the airport, my mom began talking about how useless the war in Iraq was, and how dumb the soldiers that serve there were for enlisting during the war. The soldier at the vending machine near us caught my eye. I mouthed, "Sorry" and he mouthed, slowly, "You fuckin' better be." FML

#3232657
686 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75720) - you deserved it (15336)

On 06/26/2009 at 3:57am - misc - by ILuvYouSoldiers (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I reached into my fridge to grab a strawberry soda. I noticed the can had started to leak from the top so I slurped up the spilt red liquid on the top of the can. I realized it wasn't soda, but blood from a defrosting steak on the shelf above it. FML

#2929872
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47280) - you deserved it (20155)

On 06/16/2009 at 12:38am - misc - by kjmsit (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, while walking down the street, a homeless man walked up to me. He opened his mouth to say something and I immediately said that I didn't have any spare change because I was late for work. He then said "I was gonna ask you for the time, dickwad". Apparently he wasn't homeless. FML

#2592109
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7785) - you deserved it (65501)

On 06/04/2009 at 4:07am - misc - by NoNaMe - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, was my wedding night. We had decided to wait until marriage to have sex. When I undressed and smiled at my new wife, she burst into tears and cried, "please don't make me do this." FML

#2200863
532 comments

I agree, your life sucks (197102) - you deserved it (20880)

On 05/23/2009 at 12:44am - intimacy - by honeymoondisaster (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was coaching a little league soccer game. I was telling one of my players to go cover another kid. I said "go cover the little yellow kid!" because he happened to be wearing a yellow shirt. He also happened to be Asian. I then got death stares from his family members. FML

#2009898
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50486) - you deserved it (17276)

On 05/17/2009 at 9:48am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, when done feeding my newborn, I stated to my husband that I'm a cow. He said, in a sincere tone, "Oh, baby, you'll lose the weight soon." I meant cow because I'm producing so much milk. FML

#1987412
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45199) - you deserved it (18628)

On 05/16/2009 at 5:41pm - love - by Heifer (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was sitting next to the guy I like and he was doing homework. Then, he looks up, his eyes meeting mine. His smooth voice mutters my name as his face inches closer to mine. I can feel his minty breath against my face. My pulse is racing. Then, he says "What's a pronoun?" FML

#1372393
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53049) - you deserved it (10425)

On 04/26/2009 at 9:14pm - love - by theatreismylife (woman) - United States (California)

Today, it was easter and I thought it might be fun to look for eggs with my little brother. My parents told me to take the ones in the higher places that my brother couldn't reach. All of his eggs were filled with candy or money. Each one of mine had a note saying 'maybe when you lose weight'. FML

#925174
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65312) - you deserved it (8414)

On 04/12/2009 at 11:22am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I work in a grocery store and a woman suffering from diarrhea somehow managed to get shit up and down two of the store aisles, then go to the ladies room and mess up the stall. I was the only one working trained in deal with bio-hazardous waste so I had to clean it up. FML

#570942
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (109965) - you deserved it (7953)

On 03/24/2009 at 1:47am - work - by frenchy (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was working at Coldstone. When a customer tips us we are required to sing. A late night DJ came in, put 20 dollars in the tip cup, and asked to hear every song we had. After we sang one song he looked at me and asked me to please stop singing or he was taking his money back. FML

#432216
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54331) - you deserved it (8060)

On 03/18/2009 at 1:05am - work - by Rev (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my dad gave me a promise ring on my one year anniversary with my boyfriend and made me swear I would wait til marriage. Four hours later he walked in on us having sex in my bedroom. FML

#400298
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41293) - you deserved it (228880)

On 03/16/2009 at 10:19pm - intimacy - by thiswouldhappen. - United States (Florida)

Today, I bit my boyfriend's neck. I felt something squirt into my mouth. Turns out I had just popped a pimple on his neck. Into my mouth. FML

#361047
1198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (617027) - you deserved it (413805)

On 03/15/2009 at 10:20pm - misc - by KAAALIS (woman) - United States (New York)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: