mrszane93

Search for a member

mrszane93

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Friday 18 June 1993 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3001
  • Number of comments : 70
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About mrszane93 : I'm 19 and in college. On FML because it passes time. It's also funny and I need a good laugh every now and then.

mrszane93's page activity

Visits<b>machone</b> - the 04/21/2016 at 8:22pm<b>js48</b> - the 03/10/2016 at 2:37am<b>goldengirlsfan</b> - the 03/07/2016 at 4:44pm<b>TyroneLeBron</b> - the 02/14/2016 at 7:21am<b>SeveralLake</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 6:12pm<b>Cwixter</b> - the 12/10/2015 at 5:12pm<b>Isandri</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 6:56am<b>Woody02284</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 7:54pm<b>meanleank</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 8:41am<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 10:14am<b>melons</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 5:43am<b>Redmai</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 3:18pm<b>tiggerlover100</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 12:20am<b>funnyguy9</b> - the 05/16/2015 at 12:13am<b>lil_jimmy</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 5:23am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 3:09pm<b>Amiiii</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 12:41pm<b>martin8337</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 6:10pm

Fucked!<b>machone</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 2:22am<b>Cwixter</b> - the 12/10/2015 at 11:12pm<b>meanleank</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 2:41pm

mrszane93's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of mrszane93's badges

mrszane93's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to announce to my son that I am pregnant again. After I told him, he looks up and yells: "fuck this shit!" and walks out of the room. My son is nine years old. FML

by poormom / 06/27/2009 at 12:05am / United States (Illinois) / Kids

Today, at the airport, my mom began talking about how useless the war in Iraq was, and how dumb the soldiers that serve there were for enlisting during the war. The soldier at the vending machine near us caught my eye. I mouthed, "Sorry" and he mouthed, slowly, "You fuckin' better be." FML

by ILuvYouSoldiers / 06/26/2009 at 3:57am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, I reached into my fridge to grab a strawberry soda. I noticed the can had started to leak from the top so I slurped up the spilt red liquid on the top of the can. I realized it wasn't soda, but blood from a defrosting steak on the shelf above it. FML

by kjmsit / 06/16/2009 at 12:38am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, while walking down the street, a homeless man walked up to me. He opened his mouth to say something and I immediately said that I didn't have any spare change because I was late for work. He then said "I was gonna ask you for the time, dickwad". Apparently he wasn't homeless. FML

by NoNaMe / 06/04/2009 at 4:07am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, was my wedding night. We had decided to wait until marriage to have sex. When I undressed and smiled at my new wife, she burst into tears and cried, "please don't make me do this." FML

by honeymoondisaster / 05/23/2009 at 12:44am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I was coaching a little league soccer game. I was telling one of my players to go cover another kid. I said "go cover the little yellow kid!" because he happened to be wearing a yellow shirt. He also happened to be Asian. I then got death stares from his family members. FML

by Anonymous / 05/17/2009 at 9:48am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, when done feeding my newborn, I stated to my husband that I'm a cow. He said, in a sincere tone, "Oh, baby, you'll lose the weight soon." I meant cow because I'm producing so much milk. FML

by Heifer / 05/16/2009 at 5:41pm / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, I gave my wife a cat. The first thing it did when it got out of the box was scratch the sh*t out of my leg. Next, it ran up to my wife and purred. She said, "Good cat." FML

by prevostsrocklike / 05/11/2009 at 8:38am / United States (Tennessee) / Animals

Today, I was sitting next to the guy I like and he was doing homework. Then, he looks up, his eyes meeting mine. His smooth voice mutters my name as his face inches closer to mine. I can feel his minty breath against my face. My pulse is racing. Then, he says "What's a pronoun?" FML

by theatreismylife / 04/26/2009 at 9:14pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, it was easter and I thought it might be fun to look for eggs with my little brother. My parents told me to take the ones in the higher places that my brother couldn't reach. All of his eggs were filled with candy or money. Each one of mine had a note saying 'maybe when you lose weight'. FML

by Anonymous / 04/12/2009 at 11:22am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I work in a grocery store and a woman suffering from diarrhea somehow managed to get shit up and down two of the store aisles, then go to the ladies room and mess up the stall. I was the only one working trained in deal with bio-hazardous waste so I had to clean it up. FML

by frenchy / 03/24/2009 at 1:47am / United States (Wisconsin) / Work

Today, I was working at Coldstone. When a customer tips us we are required to sing. A late night DJ came in, put 20 dollars in the tip cup, and asked to hear every song we had. After we sang one song he looked at me and asked me to please stop singing or he was taking his money back. FML

by Rev / 03/18/2009 at 1:05am / United States (Connecticut) / Work

Today, my dad gave me a promise ring on my one year anniversary with my boyfriend and made me swear I would wait til marriage. Four hours later he walked in on us having sex in my bedroom. FML

by thiswouldhappen. / 03/16/2009 at 10:19pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I bit my boyfriend's neck. I felt something squirt into my mouth. Turns out I had just popped a pimple on his neck. Into my mouth. FML

by KAAALIS / 03/15/2009 at 10:20pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I walked behind a girl I hooked up with last weekend while she was on the computer in the library. I noticed she was looking at my facebook page and got excited. Then I heard her say to her friend, "This is the one smallest penis I have ever seen." FML

by Noname / 03/11/2009 at 4:29pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy