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mrprocrastinator's favorite FMLs

Today, I told my boyfriend I was really horny. He then gave me the link to his favorite "porn". He said I should do it for him. It was a youtube video of some girl making a sandwich. FML


I agree, your life sucks (56134) - you deserved it (14962)

On 07/27/2009 at 1:06am - intimacy - by fmysexlife (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I went to my 7 year old son's school for a conference with his teacher. When I got there, the teacher said "she adored me for who and what I am". I was puzzled. Turns out my son told his class that I am a "lesbian American." Wrong. I'm Lebanese-American. FML


I agree, your life sucks (57559) - you deserved it (3673)

On 06/30/2009 at 12:17pm - kids - by lebanesewoman (woman) - Hong Kong

Today, I took home my grandpa's ashes. I then went out with my grandma, leaving my 5-year-old at home with my 12-year-old. When I got home, my beaming 5-year-old opened the door, covered in white powder. My grandmother asked where all the powder had come from. She pointed to the empty ashbox. FML


I agree, your life sucks (46877) - you deserved it (17181)

On 06/17/2009 at 10:40pm - love - by fcnk (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my car was in the shop so I borrowed my wife's VW Beetle convertible. It's really embarrassing because it's a girlie car and it's full of little stuffed animals. At a stop light a man asked me if I'd like to borrow one of his testicles because "every man should have at least one." FML


I agree, your life sucks (102010) - you deserved it (21714)

On 06/11/2009 at 8:23pm - misc - by NoBalls (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, it was my boyfriend's 24th birthday. His friends were throwing him a surprise party and I was in charge of getting his birthday cake. As a joke, I got it in the shape of a penis, with a graphic marzipan design. Funny, I never knew his overly-conservative parents were invited. FML


I agree, your life sucks (15258) - you deserved it (51185)

On 05/29/2009 at 7:12am - misc - by ilikecake (woman) - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)

Today, my man and I were having sex on edge of bed. We were using chocolate spread and I was riding him. When we were done, he got up and I noticed a long brown line on the edge of the bed. I knelt down to smell it. It was NOT chocolate. FML


I agree, your life sucks (54725) - you deserved it (7682)

On 01/12/2009 at 11:19am - intimacy - by Poopy - United States (California)

Today, during dinner, my new girlfriend's father stroked my leg several times under the table with his bare foot. FML


I agree, your life sucks (35864) - you deserved it (2230)

On 12/16/2008 at 11:10pm - misc - by bloom - Sent from mobile version

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