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Today, after discovering that our son is already sexually active, I asked my husband to have a talk with him. "Remember, son, it's all about the clit", wasn't what I had in mind. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46481) - you deserved it (9430)
On 06/08/2013 at 6:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)
Today, my little sister was scared to sleep alone, so my parents made her sleep in bed with me. I barely slept, due to the utter terror of waking up to her chanting into my ear in a low whisper, "This is where you die, this is where you die..." FML
I agree, your life sucks (43980) - you deserved it (2755)
On 06/06/2013 at 2:47pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Isle of Man
Today, my family flew out to surprise my grandma for her 70th birthday. When we arrived, she and my grandpa were both sitting on the couch, high, smoking a joint. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44545) - you deserved it (9887)
On 05/08/2013 at 2:59am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, at the exact moment that I leaned over to show my dad a picture on my phone, my boyfriend texted me: "I'm no weather man, but you can expect a few inches tonight." FML
I agree, your life sucks (55082) - you deserved it (10100)
On 04/17/2013 at 1:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I awoke to my husband talking to someone on the phone at 2am. I heard him say, "Baby you're making me hard." Immediately, I asked him who he was talking to. His response? "It's Jake, from State Farm." FML
I agree, your life sucks (63638) - you deserved it (5861)
On 03/27/2013 at 7:55pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Hawaii)
Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend by quietly undressing and sneaking into the bathroom to join him in the shower. He was bent over taking a dump, pushing his turd down the plughole. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32712) - you deserved it (5381)
On 02/27/2013 at 8:49am - misc - by anony (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, while I was babysitting, the little girl wanted to show me a picture that her mom had just sent to the family iPad via iMessage. Trying to be helpful, I clicked iMessage, only to see pictures of her father's erect penis. She won't stop asking about the "hotdog" in the picture. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25794) - you deserved it (1872)
On 02/16/2013 at 1:03am - kids - by Scarlett (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was at church, when my mom's phone went off during the sermon. As if that wasn't humiliating enough for me, her ring tone was set to the Bed Intruder song. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20889) - you deserved it (2583)
On 12/29/2012 at 5:33pm - misc - by killme (man) - United States (Maine)
Today, I dropped off my 19 year old daughter at her first job. It's at a strip club. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24349) - you deserved it (20086)
On 03/27/2012 at 1:51pm - kids - by azmom - United States (Arizona)
Today, I was awakened from a peaceful sleep by my crazy ex-girlfriend, who apparently copied my key before our break up three months ago. She was on top of me, stroking my beard, whispering: “He looks like Jesus.” FML
I agree, your life sucks (33750) - you deserved it (2418)
On 12/20/2009 at 3:47am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Monday 17 June 2013
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