Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

mrgud

Search for a member

mrgud
  • Town/Country : Zagreb, Croatia
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 26 March 1983 (31 years)
  • Number of visits : 690
  • Number of comments : 16
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

mrgud's last visitors

punjabtimelordraphanneAshley_baby94demon_eyes_girlfayultoRii_lynFootball_5tar_JRsugarnspiceeaddy17nerdsgetmehot

mrgud's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

mrgud's favorite FMLs

Today, my boss put me on suspension, a week after granting a subordinate time off to recover from surgery. When I signed the paperwork, I was too embarrassed to admit I didn't understand her writing, which apparently said she was getting treated for "dangerously low levels of dick". FML

#20434482
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8143) - you deserved it (18358)

On 12/31/2012 at 5:42pm - work - by offtothejobcentre (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, as I have been for 10 years, I'm allergic to fruit. After an argument with my mother, she yelled, "Here, have a banana and go kill yourself!" FML

#20434659
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42969) - you deserved it (6773) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 12/31/2012 at 5:09pm - misc - by aelia_oups - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend's transition into an annoying hipster is complete. It started with the not-really-necessary nerd glasses and the Mötley Crüe t-shirt, the final straw being the affected British accent. I'm considering where to dump the body. FML

#20086118
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18221) - you deserved it (1865)

On 09/24/2012 at 1:07am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was at the laundromat when a huge, tattoo-covered man wearing nothing but denim booty shorts and a wife-beater sat down beside me. He stared at me for a while, before telling me all about how I reminded him of his "first prison bitch." FML

#19644212
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19471) - you deserved it (1266)

On 05/18/2012 at 10:35pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was working at the local liquor store. An obviously drunk girl stumbles in, grabs two cases of beer and puts them on the counter. Then she grabs a pregnancy test, pees on it right there, shows me, and says, "I'm not pregnant, I want beer." FML

#19572319
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28868) - you deserved it (1795)

On 05/04/2012 at 8:08am - work - by viviham - United States (Texas)

Today, I sarcastically pointed out a book to my mom, titled "Living Successfully With Screwed Up People." She already has it. FML

#19568451
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14507) - you deserved it (3188)

On 05/03/2012 at 1:45pm - misc - by screwedupkid -

Today, my girlfriend who was planning on waiting until marriage for sex decided to have sex with me. It's been 4 hours and she hasn't stopped crying, praying and calling me the devil's temptation. FML

#16998038
389 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47040) - you deserved it (14874)

On 07/06/2011 at 7:26am - intimacy - by devilboy - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I realized I don't know which is sadder: the fact I have detailed conversations with myself in my car, or that I bought a Bluetooth earpiece so that I can do it in public without people thinking I'm a complete lunatic. FML

#15555921
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32004) - you deserved it (24009)

On 03/30/2011 at 12:54am - health - by shelby - United States

Today, after my 22 year old son realized that there was no more contact solution, he decided to use tequila because he thought it would "kill the germs." We had to go to the hospital to have his eyes flushed out. I raised this moron. FML

#15339337
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39949) - you deserved it (10763)

On 03/16/2011 at 6:05pm - kids - by WTF -

Today, I found out that the candy bracelet my sister gave me a few days ago was actually a candy cock ring she'd used on her boyfriend just a few hours prior. Apparently, she didn't like the taste. I however, did. FML

#14973308
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33313) - you deserved it (4002)

On 02/14/2011 at 12:15pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Belgium (Oost-Vlaanderen)

Today, my boyfriend woke me up by playing with the string of my tampon. FML

#14955015
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40936) - you deserved it (5628)

On 02/13/2011 at 4:32am - intimacy - by Eva - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was supposed to go on a date with a guy who lives on the same floor as me in my apartment complex. I got stood up. Instead I got to listen to him doing the girl who lives next door to me. FML

#14647412
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26813) - you deserved it (2485)

On 01/20/2011 at 3:52am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was chosen by my coworkers to explain to my elderly boss that ''tossing the salad'' isn't another expression for saying ''brainstorming''. She didn't believe me. Guess we will all keep ''tossing the salad'' for new ideas each afternoon. FML

#14646268
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17288) - you deserved it (2163)

On 01/20/2011 at 1:01am - intimacy - by welly223 (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, in the middle of the night, my girlfriend whispered "Are you asleep?" I chose not to respond, to see what she'd do. She then let rip a loud, stinking fart, giggled, and went back to sleep. FML

#14610611
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12842) - you deserved it (34217) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 4:53am - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, my baby-crazy mother expressed her concerns that I haven't conceived after a whole two months of marriage. Her advice amounted to "get divorced while you're still hot, sleep around until you get pregnant, then marry the winner." When I complained to my father, he supported her. FML

#14545580
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28478) - you deserved it (2402)

On 01/11/2011 at 1:46pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: