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mrcarmine

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mrcarmine

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 53474
  • Number of comments : 241
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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mrcarmine's page activity

Visits<b>TheEpicKitten</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 11:14am<b>ifunnyftw</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 1:01pm<b>mct_1087</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 5:42pm<b>live_307</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 11:06am<b>brittanyx00</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 7:51am<b>itsalanis</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 4:37pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/18/2014 at 12:47am<b>bethanyhopkins</b> - the 11/05/2013 at 3:07pm<b>madhattermatador</b> - the 08/07/2013 at 11:57pm<b>Ash_Used_Splash</b> - the 03/22/2013 at 7:58pm<b>ziggybanjo</b> - the 12/22/2012 at 5:01pm<b></b> - the 03/09/2011 at 10:24pm<b>kell710</b> - the 05/17/2009 at 11:26pm<b>chinesechicken</b> - the 05/17/2009 at 2:00pm<b>erichugh22</b> - the 05/17/2009 at 3:44am<b>Mingusdewiv</b> - the 05/15/2009 at 3:48pm<b>tiger01</b> - the 05/12/2009 at 11:49pm<b>bigmad50</b> - the 05/09/2009 at 3:34pm

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mrcarmine's favorite FMLs

Today mah mother called me downstairs to give mehat I assumed was going to be "The Talk" (About four years too late). So she sits me down holds mah hands an with the gentlest most motherly expression on her face tells me "Honey if u ever come home pregnant I'll kill u an the baby." FML

Today I askd my boyfriend what he thinks about long term relationships. He said "Our relationship is kinda like having a dog. Chances are your dog is going to die pretty quickly before you do. Dogs and humans just aren't meant to be together forever." He compard me to a dying dog. FML

#1123118
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57414) - you deserved it (5061)

On 04/19/2009 at 4:49pm - love - by wvugirl (woman) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I had a surgery to remove a cyst from mah butt . Afterwards that doctor told me that the cyst was bigger than he initially thought, it would still secrete fluids for two weeks, and the best remedy for this was to wear a maxi-pad . I'm a guy, and am currently wereing a maxi-pad on mah butt . real FML

#1082247
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (99700) - you deserved it (5697)

On 04/18/2009 at 10:24am - health - by Ian (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was having a dream that I was climbing out of a well. While almost out, I felt someone grab mah knee; I screamd loud in terror. When I opend mah eyes, nearly 25 people were staring at me. The lady across from me apologizd fir hitting me with her bag. I was on the C-train. FML

#1050390
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41681) - you deserved it (6660)

On 04/17/2009 at 7:47am - misc - by bluemonday - Canada (Alberta)

TODAY, MAH BOYFRIEND WAS GOING DOWN ON ME!! RIGHT AS I WAS REALLY GETTING INTO IT, HE PAUSES, FROWNS, AND SAYS, "I THINK I SEE THE PEE HOLE."

#1046980
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (91013) - you deserved it (7414)

On 04/17/2009 at 1:43am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today , I was home alonehile mah mom went out to dinner. I decided to hop in the shower , an I noticed mah mom left her douche in there. After , I texted her telling her wat I found an that it was gross. Her response? "It's not gross. It cummed from mah vagina , like u an your sister." fat FML

#1040917
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46659) - you deserved it (21552)

On 04/16/2009 at 11:08pm - health - by duuuuude (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

today ma car got a flat tire . I jacked up ma car , removed te flat an went to get ma spare out of te trunk . Were ma spare is supposed to be I found a note . It said "You're a bitc - Jon" . Jon is ma ex boyfriend . He borrowed ma car te day we broke up , apparently e stole ma spare tire too . FML

#1039565
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50678) - you deserved it (9029)

On 04/16/2009 at 10:38pm - love - by jacked (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

TODAY, I WAS PETSITTING FOR NEIGHBOR'S NEW PUPPY. A HUGE THUNDERSTORM CAME, AND THE PUPPY STARTEDHINING AND SHIVERING VIOLENTLY. I PULLED IT INTO LAP TO TRY AND COMFORT IT. ONE LOUD CLAP OF THUNDER LATER, AND THE PUPPY HAD EXPLOSIVE DIARRHEA ALL OVER ME. FML

#1026583
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (85851) - you deserved it (8314)

On 04/16/2009 at 5:36pm - misc - by Puppysit88 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was eating some left over Easter peanut MandMs at work, when I exclaimd "oh cool, they have E's on them for Easter" . It took me a couple of minutes, but I eventually realizd that I was looking at a regular MandM sideways . Definitely looool explains my coworkers uncontrollable laughter . FML

#1023184
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13466) - you deserved it (71245)

On 04/16/2009 at 3:44pm - misc - by StewPit (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

TODAY, I WOKE UP ON MOM'S COUCH WITH A WICKED HANGOVER . I MADE A MAD DASH 4 THE TOILET BUT FELT THE WAVE COMING AFTER TWO STEPS . I GRABBED A BAG OF TRASH NEXT TO THE FRONT DOOR AND SHOWED IT NO MERCY . AFTER I'D RECOVERED AND CLEANED UP, MOM ASKED IF I'D SEEN THE BAG WITH HER TAX MATERIALS . FML

#993995
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20205) - you deserved it (61758)

On 04/15/2009 at 3:47pm - health - by caramelkarma (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was visiting grandmother's house. She keeps the thermostat on 85 an after about 30 minute I explaind to her ( I'm going to looool have to leave, it's just too hot in here ). She replid: ( You think it's hot in here, wait until you get to hell. ) I laughd. She didn't. FML

#993932
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60947) - you deserved it (5738)

On 04/15/2009 at 3:45pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (South Carolina)

TODAY, I BACKED MY CAR INTO A PARKED CAR IN A PARKING LOT !! NOT ONLY DID I BACK INTO A PARKED CAR, BUT IT WAS THE ONLY PARKED CAR THERE !! FML

#991895
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14572) - you deserved it (68376)

On 04/15/2009 at 2:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I saw a commercial fir some sort of meaty beef dish. The camera zoomed in and my mouth watered because it looked so delicious. Then flashed the next scene: golden retrievers running through a field and eating from there bowl. My mouth just watered fir a dog food commerical. mega FML

#984041
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43677) - you deserved it (23061)

On 04/15/2009 at 2:19am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I had horrible pains in stomach area so I went to the doctors. They couldn't find anything wrong an sent me to the Emergency Room for X-rays. After spending the entre day in the hospital, they tell me I'm slightly constipated. I had to pay $400 to find out I had to take a shit. FML

#973952
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31765) - you deserved it (51774)

On 04/14/2009 at 4:40pm - misc - by blehh (man) - United States

I was looool walking troug te park eating fries. Tere was an old woman feeding a few pigeons. Tey didn't seem too interested, so I trew some fries down as I walked by to try and elp er out. About 2 minute later, I eard screaming. A uge group of pigeon were attacking te old woman. FML

#966989
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51641) - you deserved it (18218)

On 04/14/2009 at 10:07am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)



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