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mr994

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mr994

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  • Number of visits : 286
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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mr994's favorite FMLs

Today, my cousin thought it would be cool to put a firecracker in an abandoned birdhouse. Before I could tell him not to, it exploded and about 30 wasps came after me like the wrath of God. FML

#20749556
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49210) - you deserved it (4662)

On 06/27/2013 at 12:27am - animals - by EpicJman2828 (man) - United States

Today, I was in the doctor's office waiting for my husband to arrive, when a little old lady sat beside me. She seemed nice, until she started farting and blaming it on me. They weren't silent; they sounded like trucker farts and smelled like death. I was there for over an hour. FML

#20647820
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46112) - you deserved it (4176)

On 05/07/2013 at 3:07pm - misc - by babs (woman) - United States

Today, I dressed up as Batman for a comic book convention. I was hit by a car on the way there by a man dressed up as the Joker for the same convention. FML

#20587443
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60639) - you deserved it (20251)

On 04/13/2013 at 1:04am - misc - by ironies a b*tch - United States (Illinois)

Today, thinking I was alone at work, I did an impression of Goldar from Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. I turned around to find out I wasn't alone; a cute girl was staring at me, unimpressed. FML

#20582957
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26926) - you deserved it (18604)

On 04/09/2013 at 10:44pm - work - by Goldar - United States

Today, I was at University when a giant mascot started walking in my direction. As they walked past, they whispered my name seductively. I still don't know who it was. FML

#20578916
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36153) - you deserved it (4896)

On 04/07/2013 at 10:51am - work - by confused - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was lost in a foreign city so I asked a girl for directions. She replied, "Directions? ONE DIRECTION!" and started screaming in my face and jumping around. FML

#20572868
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43153) - you deserved it (5211)

On 04/03/2013 at 5:17am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boss fired me from my job at a local family-owned business. Thanks, mom. FML

#20571565
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34496) - you deserved it (8455)

On 04/02/2013 at 12:15pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had to clean up the urine puddle left by one of the regulars who plays the poker slot machines at the bar where I work. Rather than reserve the machine to go to the bathroom, she literally sits in her own piss to mark her territory. This happens about every second day. FML

Today, my little sister figured out how to use the printer. I came home to pictures of Nicolas Cage all over my room. FML

#20571278
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32524) - you deserved it (5268)

On 04/02/2013 at 5:22am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I got a letter from Yale law school saying I got a 4 year full scholarship. I called my dad crying and read the whole thing... even the bottom, which said, "April fools! Love mom and dad." FML

#20570035
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59159) - you deserved it (5974)

On 04/01/2013 at 1:46pm - misc - by madiison09 - United States

Today, my cat learned how to open doors. Ever since then she's been running up to my room, opening my door, and running away. My cat is playing ding-dong ditch. FML

#20559057
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33266) - you deserved it (4468)

On 03/25/2013 at 3:18am - animals - by Apes (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was late to a lecture when I tripped up the stairs. With a few hundred people already staring and laughing at me, I started to curtsy to my "adoring fans" but instead fell backwards down the massive flight of stairs. FML

#20559000
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32530) - you deserved it (10967)

On 03/25/2013 at 2:03am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was feeling sick and fainted while teaching my kindergarten class. I came to when one boy poured a cup of water on my face. Three kids were crying into my walkie talkie telling the office I was dead, and the rest of the class had disappeared. FML

#20556205
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43609) - you deserved it (3233)

On 03/23/2013 at 9:25am - kids - by kindergarten teacher - United States (California)

Today, I found myself arguing with a 6-year-old over a game of tag. FML

#20552543
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14394) - you deserved it (30692)

On 03/20/2013 at 6:08pm - kids - by tspence - United States (Ohio)

Today, I asked my boyfriend where he went to lunch. He said he went to Wendy's. I teased him and asked if he got tired of eating burgers and Frosty's all the time. His response? "What? No, I mean at Wendy's. You know, the hot girl from work?" FML

#20524344
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36156) - you deserved it (6037)

On 02/27/2013 at 12:36pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States



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