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mouxouxou's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 08/18/2009 at 7:45pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy
by ohgod / 08/14/2009 at 12:57pm / United States (Iowa) / Kids
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. It was just me and her. Things began to get heated, and we started doing it on the living room couch. Near the end of it I decided to whisper in her ear, "Who's your daddy?" I hear behind me, "I am." FML
by unbelievable208 / 08/05/2009 at 1:28am / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
by NinjaPanda88 / 08/01/2009 at 3:44am / United States (California) / Love
by fmysexlife / 07/27/2009 at 1:06am / United States (New Hampshire) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on his couch when suddenly I tried to get up. Before I could stand, he grabs onto me and says, "I'm a koala and you're my eucalyptus tree!" He then continued to latch onto me for a good five minutes pretending to eat my hair. FML
by treegirl / 07/26/2009 at 1:57am / United States / Love
Today, I was riding the subway to work. Barely anyone was on because of how early it was. Me and this one guy in a trench coat were in the same cart. His stop came. He walked by me, flashed me, rubbed his penis on my arm, and then ran away really fast. FML
by Anonymous / 06/27/2009 at 4:20am / Japan / Transportation
by poormom / 06/27/2009 at 12:05am / United States (Illinois) / Kids
Today, while reading some chemistry notes I came across the term "solid water". Completely stumped, I asked myself, "What the hell is solid water?" Then I heard my little cousin say "ice." I'm a 4th year science major in university. He still checks the closet for monsters. FML
by uneek14 / 06/23/2009 at 10:19am / Canada (Ontario) / Work
Today, In my science class I sit next to my friend Jill. My teacher always gets our names confused calling me Jill and her Liz. She decided to combine our names. I'm now known as Jizz. My teacher clearly has no idea what it means. FML
by mcullen21 / 06/12/2009 at 2:50pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
Today, my car was in the shop so I borrowed my wife's VW Beetle convertible. It's really embarrassing because it's a girlie car and it's full of little stuffed animals. At a stop light a man asked me if I'd like to borrow one of his testicles because "every man should have at least one." FML
by NoBalls / 06/11/2009 at 8:23pm / United States (Indiana) / Transportation
Today, I heard my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door, "Are you jacking off in there or something?" and him scream back at her "Shut up you fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML
by badmom / 06/10/2009 at 2:09pm / Canada (Quebec) / Intimacy
by quadropheniac / 06/09/2009 at 12:18pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 06/07/2009 at 7:15pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Money
by Anonymous / 06/07/2009 at 11:53am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, I'm still reeling over the unexpected loss of my co-worker. I also received a notification…
- Today, after hours of non-stop work on an important case, I cheeringly blurted out, "And now, time… Today, I’m in China, and I took my Golden Retriever to the groomer’s to get him cleaned up, because… Today, I came back from the hospital after back surgery which required putting screws in my spine.…