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mouxouxou's favorite FMLs
by morenita27 / 12/20/2010 at 8:52pm / Canada / Work
Today, while I was working at McDonald's, a man and his wife ordered a Sundae. I gave the guy his sundae and realized I'd forgotten something. I said, "One second sir. Let me grab your nuts." I realized what I said when his wife gave me the death glare. FML
by stifledbyyou / 12/11/2010 at 7:06pm / United States (Louisiana) / Work
by elliekilroy / 12/10/2010 at 7:12pm / United Kingdom (Monmouthshire) / Animals
by Anonymous / 12/10/2010 at 8:05am / United States (Virginia) / Love
Today, I sent a picture to my girlfriend of my erect penis with a quote saying "It's waiting for you." She responded with a picture of her left hand showing her left ring finger with a quote saying "It's waiting for you too." FML
by Anonymous / 12/07/2010 at 1:32pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, I felt like spicing up our marriage, so I thought I'd surprise my husband when he got home from work. I put on my sexiest teddy, lit some candles, and laid on the bed. He walked in the room, looked at me for a second, farted, then asked me what was for dinner. FML
by Anonymous / 12/05/2010 at 1:57am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by ahhhboys / 11/27/2010 at 2:12pm / Romania / Love
Today, my grandma walked into my room and asked if the thing lying on my nightstand was a computer. I said ''Grandma, that's a clock.'' After staring at me, confused for a few seconds, she then farted, and left my room. FML
by Anonymous / 11/23/2010 at 12:35pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was walking with and hugging my girlfriend at the same time. I tried to be funny and touched her breast, saying "Boob" in a silly voice. In reply, she slapped me in the crotch, saying "Dick" in the same voice. FML
by Anonymous / 11/21/2010 at 3:01am / Mexico (Morelos) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 11/17/2010 at 9:32pm / United States (Virginia) / Love
by Anonymous / 11/13/2010 at 2:14am / United States / Intimacy
Today, I was fooling around a bit with my girlfriend while cooking dinner when she said, "Don't get too excited, I want to watch The Princess and the Frog tonight." I just got cockblocked by a Disney movie. FML
by roberto / 11/12/2010 at 6:48pm / Brazil (Sao Paulo) / Intimacy
by Bob / 11/11/2010 at 10:55pm / United States (Texas) / Love
by secretdoll / 11/09/2010 at 2:51am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 11/04/2010 at 7:54pm / United States (Texas) / Kids
- Today, I found out my hours at work were getting cut and given to another employee. Not only are my… Today, I finally went to talk to my neighbour upstairs. He is always throwing his cigarette buts on… Today, I ran an experiment perfectly in lab. I was the last in my class to finish and proud of how…
- Today, my economics teacher gives us a lot of photocopies, so I told her that she kills pandas by… Today, I’m in Sweden. This morning, I went out to get the mail in my pajamas. Well, it doesn’t only… Today, I threw up when I got home because I'd been drinking with friends. My parents asked what was…