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Today, a woman came to my counter and ordered 12 donuts, I said "OK sure, a dozen donuts." She paused, looked at me with disgust and yelled "I said 12, NOT a dozen." FML
I agree, your life sucks (37204) - you deserved it (2765)
On 12/20/2010 at 8:52pm - work - by morenita27 (woman) - Canada
Today, while I was working at McDonald's, a man and his wife ordered a Sundae. I gave the guy his sundae and realized I'd forgotten something. I said, "One second sir. Let me grab your nuts." I realized what I said when his wife gave me the death glare. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24852) - you deserved it (6343)
On 12/11/2010 at 7:06pm - work - by stifledbyyou (woman) - United States (Louisiana)
Today, I picked up my friend's new kitten so enthusiastically I scared it and it shat all over me. I literally scared the shit out of it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9569) - you deserved it (17801)
On 12/10/2010 at 7:12pm - misc - by elliekilroy (woman) - United Kingdom (Monmouthshire)
Today, for the first time, a good looking guy was in my yoga class. Today also marked the first time I farted during yoga class. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23234) - you deserved it (561)
On 12/10/2010 at 8:05am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I sent a picture to my girlfriend of my erect penis with a quote saying "It's waiting for you." She responded with a picture of her left hand showing her left ring finger with a quote saying "It's waiting for you too." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9247) - you deserved it (63957)
On 12/07/2010 at 1:32pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I felt like spicing up our marriage, so I thought I'd surprise my husband when he got home from work. I put on my sexiest teddy, lit some candles, and laid on the bed. He walked in the room, looked at me for a second, farted, then asked me what was for dinner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31852) - you deserved it (3201)
On 12/05/2010 at 1:57am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend of six months said he wanted to take our relationship one step further. I thought he was going to ask me to move in. He meant he wanted to fart in front of me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25589) - you deserved it (4407)
On 11/27/2010 at 2:12pm - love - by ahhhboys (woman) - Romania
Today, my grandma walked into my room and asked if the thing lying on my nightstand was a computer. I said ''Grandma, that's a clock.'' After staring at me, confused for a few seconds, she then farted, and left my room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34488) - you deserved it (4375)
On 11/23/2010 at 12:35pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was walking with and hugging my girlfriend at the same time. I tried to be funny and touched her breast, saying "Boob" in a silly voice. In reply, she slapped me in the crotch, saying "Dick" in the same voice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6814) - you deserved it (45217)
On 11/21/2010 at 3:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Mexico (Morelos)
Today, I asked my boyfriend to try and man up and act a bit tougher. He started crying. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27263) - you deserved it (12945)
On 11/17/2010 at 9:32pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I told my parents that I wanted a little brother. My dad apparently thought it would be funny to tell me that my mom just swallowed my little brother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47338) - you deserved it (6501)
On 11/13/2010 at 2:14am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I was fooling around a bit with my girlfriend while cooking dinner when she said, "Don't get too excited, I want to watch The Princess and the Frog tonight." I just got cockblocked by a Disney movie. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27164) - you deserved it (5038)
On 11/12/2010 at 6:48pm - intimacy - by roberto (man) - Brazil (Sao Paulo)
Today, I received a restraining order from a girl I have never met. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28893) - you deserved it (2892)
On 11/11/2010 at 10:55pm - misc - by Bob - United States (Texas)
Today, I was eating at a Mexican restaurant with my sister. I was happily biting into a burrito, when I saw a man in his car in the restaurant parking lot, staring at us and jacking off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28157) - you deserved it (2610)
On 11/09/2010 at 2:51am - intimacy - by secretdoll (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my 5 year old son and I went out. As I was looking in the window display of a shop, I turned around to witness my son pooping in an open manhole on the street. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23182) - you deserved it (7817)
On 11/04/2010 at 7:54pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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