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mouxouxou's favorite FMLs
by Evaki1 / 06/13/2011 at 10:24am / Greece (Attiki) / Kids
by Anonymous / 03/17/2011 at 6:39pm / Dominican Republic (Distrito Nacional) / Money
Today, my daughter went potty. Just as she always does, she came up to me and announced, "I flushed, and wiped, and shut the light off." Then she did something brand new. She covered my face with her hand and asked, "Do these fingers smell?" They did. FML
by Username / 03/17/2011 at 12:04am / Kids
Today, my boyfriend did the Austin Powers dance/strip-tease while dancing to 'I Touch Myself'. It was cute until he ripped off his shirt and revealed that he'd shaved his chest hair in the shape of a penis. FML
by Anon / 03/10/2011 at 10:08am / United States (Minnesota) / Intimacy
by elfy2 / 03/02/2011 at 9:49pm / Kids
Today, while having sex, I found out that I'm so flexible that when I bend over backwards, the backs of my knees can touch my shoulders. My boyfriend is now extremely jealous and is debating about breaking up with me. Even I don't get it. FML
by inder / 02/25/2011 at 11:03am / United Kingdom (Stoke-on-Trent) / Intimacy
by Dilly_20 / 02/22/2011 at 1:00pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy
Today, I got a call from my daughter’s teacher asking me to come pick her up. My daughter wouldn’t tell her what was wrong. I left an important work meeting. When I got there she stated her boyfriend broke up with her and she couldn't emotionally make it through the rest of the day. She's 5. FML
by mom21 / 02/08/2011 at 12:46pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Kids
by Anonymous / 01/27/2011 at 12:19am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Kids
Today, I was at the grocery store with my dad. He let out a very silent but foul abomination of a fart. The people behind us started gagging, so he turned, pointed at me and said "That was my daughter." FML
by Anonymous / 01/18/2011 at 3:28am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, I spent the first day of the new year helping out at an old folks home. I was assigned to watch over a group which includes the delightful Earnie; an 83 year old delusional man who sees absolutely no problem with showing off "what the good lord gave him" every chance he gets. FML
by Username / 01/01/2011 at 6:21pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend and I were in our room getting hot and heavy. As he was entering me, he started making electronic whirring sounds. Once inside, he said in a robotic voice, "Initiating launch sequence in 3... 2... 1..." and began thrusting as fast as possible. FML
by Jessie / 12/25/2010 at 8:38am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, I was at the dentist's, getting my teeth cleaned. He thought it would be funny to suddenly go on in detail about the fantastic sex he and his wife had the night before. I was unable to speak the entire time. The dentist is my grandpa. FML
by notsoclean / 12/24/2010 at 4:14pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by nemo518 / 12/23/2010 at 1:36am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by Username / 12/21/2010 at 12:09am / Intimacy