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Today, I had to explain to my little brother that my tampons weren't ear plugs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27103) - you deserved it (3201)
On 06/13/2011 at 10:24am - kids - by Evaki1 - Greece (Attiki)
Today, my expensive, multi-feature, water proof watch was destroyed... by water. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29977) - you deserved it (5966)
On 03/17/2011 at 6:39pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - Dominican Republic (Distrito Nacional)
Today, my daughter went potty. Just as she always does, she came up to me and announced, "I flushed, and wiped, and shut the light off." Then she did something brand new. She covered my face with her hand and asked, "Do these fingers smell?" They did. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25736) - you deserved it (3712)
On 03/17/2011 at 12:04am - kids - by Username -
Today, my boyfriend did the Austin Powers dance/strip-tease while dancing to 'I Touch Myself'. It was cute until he ripped off his shirt and revealed that he'd shaved his chest hair in the shape of a penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40556) - you deserved it (8170)
On 03/10/2011 at 10:08am - intimacy - by Anon (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, while riding the bus to a really important job interview the child sitting next to me threw up in my lap. His mother then told him to wipe his mouth. He used my sleeve. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32634) - you deserved it (2344)
On 03/02/2011 at 9:49pm - kids - by elfy2 -
Today, while having sex, I found out that I'm so flexible that when I bend over backwards, the backs of my knees can touch my shoulders. My boyfriend is now extremely jealous and is debating about breaking up with me. Even I don't get it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36956) - you deserved it (3259)
On 02/25/2011 at 11:03am - intimacy - by inder (woman) - United Kingdom (Stoke-on-Trent)
Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend why I'd be angry if he had a foursome with 3 other people. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31651) - you deserved it (4671)
On 02/22/2011 at 1:00pm - intimacy - by Dilly_20 - United Kingdom
Today, I got a call from my daughter’s teacher asking me to come pick her up. My daughter wouldn’t tell her what was wrong. I left an important work meeting. When I got there she stated her boyfriend broke up with her and she couldn't emotionally make it through the rest of the day. She's 5. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45249) - you deserved it (5740)
On 02/08/2011 at 12:46pm - kids - by mom21 - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, as I was walking home, I passed some little girls who threw a bunch of snowballs at me. I dodged every single one, ran away laughing, and gave them the finger. I then ran into a snowman. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9271) - you deserved it (31205)
On 01/27/2011 at 12:19am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was at the grocery store with my dad. He let out a very silent but foul abomination of a fart. The people behind us started gagging, so he turned, pointed at me and said "That was my daughter." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26246) - you deserved it (2604)
On 01/18/2011 at 3:28am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I spent the first day of the new year helping out at an old folks home. I was assigned to watch over a group which includes the delightful Earnie; an 83 year old delusional man who sees absolutely no problem with showing off "what the good lord gave him" every chance he gets. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20316) - you deserved it (3014)
On 01/01/2011 at 6:21pm - intimacy - by Username - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend and I were in our room getting hot and heavy. As he was entering me, he started making electronic whirring sounds. Once inside, he said in a robotic voice, "Initiating launch sequence in 3... 2... 1..." and began thrusting as fast as possible. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34485) - you deserved it (7002)
On 12/25/2010 at 8:38am - intimacy - by Jessie - United States (Texas)
Today, I was at the dentist's, getting my teeth cleaned. He thought it would be funny to suddenly go on in detail about the fantastic sex he and his wife had the night before. I was unable to speak the entire time. The dentist is my grandpa. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32705) - you deserved it (2445)
On 12/24/2010 at 4:14pm - intimacy - by notsoclean (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was naked on top of my boyfriend looking lovingly into his eyes. He then started to use my boobs as punching bags while singing "Eye of the Tiger". FML
I agree, your life sucks (34932) - you deserved it (7940)
On 12/23/2010 at 1:36am - intimacy - by nemo518 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my boyfriend asked me to have phone sex with him. However, it seems he doesn't quite know what it is, so now he wants me to explain it to him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19618) - you deserved it (3047)
On 12/21/2010 at 12:09am - intimacy - by Username -
Monday 17 June 2013
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