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mooiki

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mooiki
  • Town/Country : Melbourne, Australia
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 19 October 1993 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 136
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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mooiki's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of mooiki's badges

mooiki's favorite FMLs

Today, just like every morning this month, I woke up, put on my clothes, looked out my window, and was pointed at by a man in a ninja outfit on my neighbor's roof. The police still can't find him. FML

#20155776
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20425) - you deserved it (1706)

On 11/08/2012 at 11:54pm - misc - by Targeted - United States (Washington)

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and things started getting pretty hot. That is, until I tried to remove her shirt. Somehow, I managed to grab her pajama shorts and give her a violent wedgie. FML

#20154996
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11758) - you deserved it (21466)

On 11/08/2012 at 1:25pm - intimacy - by shit.... (man) - Malaysia (Selangor)

Today, while my mother's blind friend was waiting in our kitchen for my mom to come home, I thought it would be funny to talk to her in the nude. Turns out she's only blind in one eye. FML

#20127252
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4144) - you deserved it (36202)

On 10/21/2012 at 8:29pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, my husband let me know he felt I was ignoring him by jabbing me in the right ear with his erect penis while I was Skyping with my mum overseas. FML

#20110803
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24251) - you deserved it (3964)

On 10/10/2012 at 5:48pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, my 2-year-old told me he found a new finger puppet. It was a used condom. FML

#20080363
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12986) - you deserved it (17587)

On 09/20/2012 at 3:00am - intimacy - by myself - United States (California)

Today, a guy I've been seeing for a while sent me a link to a porn site, with the message, "Holy fuck, isn't this your mom?!" Thinking he was joking around, I clicked the link just to see what sick shit he wanted to show me. It was my mom. FML

#20079475
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48103) - you deserved it (1979)

On 09/19/2012 at 4:41pm - intimacy - by identitychangeplease - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I was watching some pretty intense porn on my Macbook. I unplugged the second monitor so I could lie on my bed. Instead of defaulting to the screen, Airplay somehow synced it to the living room TV, where the rest of my family was watching a movie. FML

#20052962
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13588) - you deserved it (31990)

On 09/01/2012 at 7:14pm - intimacy - by WhyAppleWhy (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my dog, who has been specially trained to go for help when I'm having a seizure, went to alert my parents downstairs that I was having an emergency. The "emergency" was me masturbating. FML

#20052579
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24294) - you deserved it (7312)

On 09/01/2012 at 1:56pm - intimacy - by thewhompingwillow (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, on my way to work, I noticed a woman on the side of the road waving for help, her car appearing to be broken down. I pulled over, stepped out of my car, went over to her car, lifted the hood, and checked it. When I looked up to tell her what was wrong, she and my car were gone. FML

#19980776
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24335) - you deserved it (6289)

On 07/24/2012 at 1:04am - misc - by Joey - United States (Florida)

Today, I saw my best friend, who's a cop. He was dressed up in regular clothes and with six other guys. I said, "Officer T.? Didn't you have work today?" Turns out he was undercover, and I blew his investigation. FML

#19874975
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14034) - you deserved it (29665)

On 07/01/2012 at 4:45am - misc - by immabitch - United States

Today, I woke up after a night of partying and heavy drinking. Apparently word travels quickly, because everyone now knows that I spent hours lying in an empty bathtub, rubbing shampoo over my body with the expectation that it'd increase my penis size. FML

#19726729
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5660) - you deserved it (24923)

On 06/03/2012 at 1:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Spain (Castilla y Leon)

Today, at work at a gas station kiosk, a man requested a carton of cigarettes. We keep our cigarettes on a high shelf. I'm short and very large chested so I have to jump in order to reach the carton. He said, "I only come here for the entertainment" and left without purchasing his cigarettes. FML

Today, I went to an extended family reunion. I started chatting to my great grandpa, and he asked me what I do for a living. Before I could tell him I breed animals, my visibly drunk dad interrupted and slurred, "Oh, she jacks things off. Horses, pigs, just about anything, really." FML

#19102316
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18999) - you deserved it (2406)

On 02/17/2012 at 7:13pm - intimacy - by -_- (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I was on a date with a guy I've been crushing on. In the middle of the dinner, he said he had to go get something from his car. When I asked what it was, he smiled and said it was a surprise. I waited for my surprise for half an hour. Then I decided to pay the bill and go home and cry. FML

#18976256
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44969) - you deserved it (2321)

On 02/02/2012 at 1:00pm - love - by kingpig (woman) - Sweden (Skane Lan)

Today, I waited on an elderly man whose wife had just left him. After him going on and on about how his dog will love his leftover chicken, I nervously caught a case of verbal diarrhea and uttered, "Well, if there's chicken involved, I'll get on my knees and be your dog." FML

#18886717
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7365) - you deserved it (21043)

On 01/23/2012 at 12:12am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States



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Monday 20 May 2013

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