monkeyxD

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Offline (the 11/08/2015 at 10:06pm)

monkeyxD

9Fucked!

monkeyxDmonkeyxD
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 14 September 1995 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 685
  • Number of comments : 14
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About monkeyxD : Hiya, I'm Jessy. I'm pretty easy going but I love pissing people off, lmfao. Violet lantern for the win! xD Beautiful little girl is here. Raya~ 2/23/15. c:

monkeyxD's page activity

Visits<b>thundercrow1999</b> - the 10/22/2016 at 11:43pm<b>FoxHunt9119</b> - the 12/10/2015 at 10:48pm<b>ratman775</b> - the 11/14/2015 at 3:47am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 09/28/2015 at 9:45am<b>Kevinmeowbeanz</b> - the 09/26/2015 at 5:03pm<b>im_a_squid</b> - the 09/19/2015 at 4:16pm<b>thatoneguy1111</b> - the 09/17/2015 at 9:08am<b>minimanion</b> - the 09/15/2015 at 2:01pm<b>ahmadmuneer</b> - the 09/14/2015 at 11:41pm<b>PresAgent</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 6:11pm<b>Codezlol</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 1:52pm<b>maximus_prime</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 12:48pm<b>rchjr2106</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 12:46pm<b>beeferjay</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 11:54am<b>NodakN8V</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 3:18pm<b>dtaownsall</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 9:02pm<b>MNBOY16</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 1:02pm<b>Jake42100</b> - the 07/09/2015 at 5:48pm

Fucked!<b>thundercrow1999</b> - the 10/23/2016 at 5:43am<b>FoxHunt9119</b> - the 12/11/2015 at 4:51am<b>Codezlol</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 7:52pm<b>NodakN8V</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 9:18pm<b>MNBOY16</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 7:02pm<b>nityasomaiya</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 9:40pm<b>giantsfan2010</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 9:32pm<b>robertd73</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 5:35am<b>cjwayy</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 4:53pm

monkeyxD's FML badges

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

See all of monkeyxD's badges

monkeyxD's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend told me that he gets more pleasure out of using a Q-tip than he does having sex with me. FML

by Anonymous / 01/08/2015 at 9:24am / Estonia (Harjumaa) / Intimacy

Today, my pet bunny died. My little sister is distraught and practically suicidal, because apparently she playfully pointed a wand at it a few days ago and said "avada kedavra". She's absolutely convinced that she killed it. FML

by Anonymous / 12/10/2014 at 2:58pm / United States (Tennessee) / Kids

Today, I saw a bulge in my friend's pocket. I poked it and asked, "What'cha got there?" He said, "Uh, that's my dick, Mike." FML

by not a dick-man / 08/12/2014 at 1:05pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, my husband and I attended a funeral. After the service, my phone vibrated. It was a text from my husband, saying "I've got mourning wood like you wouldn't believe! get it? MOURNING. haha :D" I looked up and saw him across the room, winking at me. Not the place, honey. FML

by jackie89 / 08/10/2014 at 3:26pm / United Kingdom (Cornwall) / Intimacy

Today, I actually uttered the words: "Those are my good sweatpants." FML

by dieana / 05/16/2014 at 8:16am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend was watching TV, when we started getting frisky. I'd just started to give him a blowjob when he pushed me off and said, "Fun's over." Dragon Ball Z had just come back on. He's 21. FML

by SecondBest,IGuess / 04/30/2013 at 1:35pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I walked in on my husband eating cat food out of the cat bowl dressed in a cat costume. FML

by confusedcatlover / 04/06/2013 at 7:42am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous

Today, my little sister figured out how to use the printer. I came home to pictures of Nicolas Cage all over my room. FML

by Anonymous / 04/02/2013 at 5:22am / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, it's my boyfriend's birthday. He really likes Legend of Zelda, so I put on a Link hat, took my clothes off, and waited for him at his place. He came home with a hooker. FML

by excusemeprincess / 02/11/2013 at 12:08pm / United States (New York) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was walking my dog when he decided that he was too lazy to continue walking. It ended up with me looking like a crazy dog lady carrying my medium-sized dog home. FML

by life// / 01/08/2013 at 6:56pm / Canada (Alberta) / Animals

Today, my boyfriend and I were in bed making out. He then tried to unhook my bra. After a full minute of trying unsuccessfully, he shouted "Fuck you, bra!" before hiding his face in the pillows. FML

by Anonymous / 07/01/2012 at 7:08pm / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend and I agreed to tell her parents that she's pregnant. When they started freaking out, instead of dealing with the situation maturely, she went into straight-up Tard Mode and said, "It's okay, I'm not the mom." FML

by yamsterr / 03/12/2012 at 12:27pm / United States / Love

Today, my family started their own version of the Hunger Games. With farts as their ammo, they've been tackling and gassing everyone until their victim "dies" by surrendering. My house is a flatulent war zone, and I fear waking up blind. FML

by district12 / 02/18/2012 at 5:22pm / United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire) / Health

Today, after rocking my one-year old daughter for nearly two hours, she finally fell asleep. As I went to leave her room, I stubbed my toe. I now have a broken toe, a screaming child, and a wife who will be so proud that her daughter's first word is "FUCK!" FML

Today, while having sex, my boyfriend decided to sing the Star Wars theme song as he entered his penis into me. FML

by Taylor / 07/30/2011 at 1:14am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy