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monkeyxD

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monkeyxD

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monkeyxDmonkeyxD
  • Town/Country : ,
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 14 September 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 155
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About monkeyxD : Hiya, I'm Jessy. I'm pretty easy going but I love pissing people off, lmfao. Beautiful little girl on the way c:

monkeyxD's page activity

Visits<b>patrickalamo</b> - 23 hours ago<b>HairIsEverything</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 12:09pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 8:55am<b>ROMAD</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 4:50am<b>noctali_Solstice</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 12:19am<b>Scryll</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 9:52pm<b>xwingtwo</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 6:52pm<b>singer0421</b> - the 01/01/2015 at 7:40pm<b>Anthonymm2</b> - the 01/01/2015 at 4:27am<b>bre88</b> - the 01/01/2015 at 3:47am<b>oldmanringo</b> - the 12/19/2014 at 11:24pm<b>ComoEsJuan</b> - the 12/07/2014 at 12:09pm<b>aliciabaird1269</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 2:00am<b>buckydargon</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 5:08am<b>ashbee11790</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 12:40am<b>angiotensin</b> - the 11/16/2014 at 2:05am<b>KatieSue7</b> - the 11/09/2014 at 10:02pm<b>pantherfan0877</b> - the 11/09/2014 at 5:35pm

Liked!<b>robertd73</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 5:35am<b>cjwayy</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 4:53pm

monkeyxD's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

See all of monkeyxD's badges

monkeyxD's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend told me that he gets more pleasure out of using a Q-tip than he does having sex with me. FML

#21333219
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32204) - you deserved it (4797)

On 01/08/2015 at 9:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Estonia (Harjumaa)

Today, my pet bunny died. My little sister is distraught and practically suicidal, because apparently she playfully pointed a wand at it a few days ago and said "avada kedavra". She's absolutely convinced that she killed it. FML

#21315060
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34261) - you deserved it (2754)

On 12/10/2014 at 2:58pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I saw a bulge in my friend's pocket. I poked it and asked, "What'cha got there?" He said, "Uh, that's my dick, Mike." FML

#21235845
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43317) - you deserved it (27637)

On 08/12/2014 at 1:05pm - intimacy - by not a dick-man (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my husband and I attended a funeral. After the service, my phone vibrated. It was a text from my husband, saying "I've got mourning wood like you wouldn't believe! get it? MOURNING. haha :D" I looked up and saw him across the room, winking at me. Not the place, honey. FML

#21234106
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48715) - you deserved it (5607)

On 08/10/2014 at 3:26pm - intimacy - by jackie89 (woman) - United Kingdom (Cornwall)

Today, I actually uttered the words: "Those are my good sweatpants." FML

#21141634
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37382) - you deserved it (8700)

On 05/16/2014 at 8:16am - misc - by dieana (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I walked in on my husband eating cat food out of the cat bowl dressed in a cat costume. FML

#20577178
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52613) - you deserved it (5794)

On 04/06/2013 at 7:42am - misc - by confusedcatlover (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my little sister figured out how to use the printer. I came home to pictures of Nicolas Cage all over my room. FML

#20571278
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32582) - you deserved it (5273)

On 04/02/2013 at 5:22am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, it's my boyfriend's birthday. He really likes Legend of Zelda, so I put on a Link hat, took my clothes off, and waited for him at his place. He came home with a hooker. FML

#20502217
173 comments

Today, my boyfriend and I were in bed making out. He then tried to unhook my bra. After a full minute of trying unsuccessfully, he shouted "Fuck you, bra!" before hiding his face in the pillows. FML

#19877341
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33203) - you deserved it (4797)

On 07/01/2012 at 7:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, my girlfriend and I agreed to tell her parents that she's pregnant. When they started freaking out, instead of dealing with the situation maturely, she went into straight-up Tard Mode and said, "It's okay, I'm not the mom." FML

#19264126
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29070) - you deserved it (6051)

On 03/12/2012 at 12:27pm - love - by yamsterr (man) - United States

Today, my family started their own version of the Hunger Games. With farts as their ammo, they've been tackling and gassing everyone until their victim "dies" by surrendering. My house is a flatulent war zone, and I fear waking up blind. FML

#19109077
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25643) - you deserved it (2543)

On 02/18/2012 at 5:22pm - health - by district12 (man) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, after rocking my one-year old daughter for nearly two hours, she finally fell asleep. As I went to leave her room, I stubbed my toe. I now have a broken toe, a screaming child, and a wife who will be so proud that her daughter's first word is "FUCK!" FML

Today, while having sex, my boyfriend decided to sing the Star Wars theme song as he entered his penis into me. FML

#17304826
304 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37672) - you deserved it (9725)

On 07/30/2011 at 1:14am - intimacy - by Taylor - United States (Texas)

Today, I almost crashed my car because I was checking out an Old Navy mannequin wearing a bra. FML

#7313785
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5817) - you deserved it (44587)

On 01/13/2010 at 1:31am - misc - by Creepster (man) - United States (Ohio)



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