Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Offline (10 hours ago) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 14 September 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 79
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About monkeyxD : Hiya, I'm Jessy. I'm pretty easy going but I love pissing people off, lmfao. Beautiful little girl on the way

monkeyxD's page activity

Visits<b>buckydargon</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 5:08am<b>ashbee11790</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 12:40am<b>angiotensin</b> - the 11/16/2014 at 2:05am<b>KatieSue7</b> - the 11/09/2014 at 10:02pm<b>pantherfan0877</b> - the 11/09/2014 at 5:35pm<b>osr215</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 10:38pm<b>emilyates</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 9:29pm<b>sig4life</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 10:41pm<b>thatoneninjadude</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 10:22pm<b>GentlemanBastard</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 8:37am<b>Tyde</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 1:33am<b>TiiBags</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 12:04am<b>robertd73</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 11:35pm<b>A_Dead_Fish32</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 10:46pm<b>nreed32</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 10:18pm<b>ItsaBucsLife</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 10:03pm<b>grapegamer</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 9:39pm<b>Lct1196</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 8:35pm

Liked!<b>robertd73</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 5:35am<b>cjwayy</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 4:53pm

monkeyxD's FML badges

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!


You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of monkeyxD's badges

monkeyxD's favorite FMLs

Today, I saw a bulge in my friend's pocket. I poked it and asked, "What'cha got there?" He said, "Uh, that's my dick, Mike." FML


I agree, your life sucks (40760) - you deserved it (25684)

On 08/12/2014 at 1:05pm - intimacy - by not a dick-man (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my husband and I attended a funeral. After the service, my phone vibrated. It was a text from my husband, saying "I've got mourning wood like you wouldn't believe! get it? MOURNING. haha :D" I looked up and saw him across the room, winking at me. Not the place, honey. FML


I agree, your life sucks (48238) - you deserved it (5576)

On 08/10/2014 at 3:26pm - intimacy - by jackie89 (woman) - United Kingdom (Cornwall)

Today, I walked in on my husband eating cat food out of the cat bowl dressed in a cat costume. FML


I agree, your life sucks (51280) - you deserved it (5651)

On 04/06/2013 at 7:42am - misc - by confusedcatlover (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my little sister figured out how to use the printer. I came home to pictures of Nicolas Cage all over my room. FML


I agree, your life sucks (32524) - you deserved it (5268)

On 04/02/2013 at 5:22am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my family started their own version of the Hunger Games. With farts as their ammo, they've been tackling and gassing everyone until their victim "dies" by surrendering. My house is a flatulent war zone, and I fear waking up blind. FML


I agree, your life sucks (24882) - you deserved it (2471)

On 02/18/2012 at 5:22pm - health - by district12 (man) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, I realized that instead of actually trying to get a job, save money, lose weight, and get thin so I could maybe attempt to date again; I'd rather spend my money on a Fleshlight. FML


I agree, your life sucks (8392) - you deserved it (35782)

On 01/16/2009 at 3:34am - intimacy - by horny bastard - United States (Minnesota)

FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: