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monkeyxD

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monkeyxD

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monkeyxDmonkeyxD
  • Town/Country : ,
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 14 September 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 116
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About monkeyxD : Hiya, I'm Jessy. I'm pretty easy going but I love pissing people off, lmfao. Beautiful little girl on the way c:

monkeyxD's page activity

Visits<b>oldmanringo</b> - 18 hours ago<b>ComoEsJuan</b> - the 12/07/2014 at 12:09pm<b>aliciabaird1269</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 2:00am<b>buckydargon</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 5:08am<b>ashbee11790</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 12:40am<b>angiotensin</b> - the 11/16/2014 at 2:05am<b>KatieSue7</b> - the 11/09/2014 at 10:02pm<b>pantherfan0877</b> - the 11/09/2014 at 5:35pm<b>osr215</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 10:38pm<b>emilyates</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 9:29pm<b>sig4life</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 10:41pm<b>thatoneninjadude</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 10:22pm<b>GentlemanBastard</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 8:37am<b>Tyde</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 1:33am<b>TiiBags</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 12:04am<b>robertd73</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 11:35pm<b>A_Dead_Fish32</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 10:46pm<b>nreed32</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 10:18pm

Liked!<b>robertd73</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 5:35am<b>cjwayy</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 4:53pm

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monkeyxD's favorite FMLs

Today, my pet bunny died. My little sister is distraught and practically suicidal, because apparently she playfully pointed a wand at it a few days ago and said "avada kedavra". She's absolutely convinced that she killed it. FML

#21315060
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32372) - you deserved it (2476)

On 12/10/2014 at 2:58pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I saw a bulge in my friend's pocket. I poked it and asked, "What'cha got there?" He said, "Uh, that's my dick, Mike." FML

#21235845
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40940) - you deserved it (25782)

On 08/12/2014 at 1:05pm - intimacy - by not a dick-man (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my husband and I attended a funeral. After the service, my phone vibrated. It was a text from my husband, saying "I've got mourning wood like you wouldn't believe! get it? MOURNING. haha :D" I looked up and saw him across the room, winking at me. Not the place, honey. FML

#21234106
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48480) - you deserved it (5594)

On 08/10/2014 at 3:26pm - intimacy - by jackie89 (woman) - United Kingdom (Cornwall)

Today, I actually uttered the words: "Those are my good sweatpants." FML

#21141634
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37364) - you deserved it (8699)

On 05/16/2014 at 8:16am - misc - by dieana (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I walked in on my husband eating cat food out of the cat bowl dressed in a cat costume. FML

#20577178
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51317) - you deserved it (5652)

On 04/06/2013 at 7:42am - misc - by confusedcatlover (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my little sister figured out how to use the printer. I came home to pictures of Nicolas Cage all over my room. FML

#20571278
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32549) - you deserved it (5270)

On 04/02/2013 at 5:22am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, it's my boyfriend's birthday. He really likes Legend of Zelda, so I put on a Link hat, took my clothes off, and waited for him at his place. He came home with a hooker. FML

#20502217
172 comments

Today, my girlfriend and I agreed to tell her parents that she's pregnant. When they started freaking out, instead of dealing with the situation maturely, she went into straight-up Tard Mode and said, "It's okay, I'm not the mom." FML

#19264126
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29040) - you deserved it (6051)

On 03/12/2012 at 12:27pm - love - by yamsterr (man) - United States

Today, my family started their own version of the Hunger Games. With farts as their ammo, they've been tackling and gassing everyone until their victim "dies" by surrendering. My house is a flatulent war zone, and I fear waking up blind. FML

#19109077
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24909) - you deserved it (2471)

On 02/18/2012 at 5:22pm - health - by district12 (man) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, after rocking my one-year old daughter for nearly two hours, she finally fell asleep. As I went to leave her room, I stubbed my toe. I now have a broken toe, a screaming child, and a wife who will be so proud that her daughter's first word is "FUCK!" FML

Today, I almost crashed my car because I was checking out an Old Navy mannequin wearing a bra. FML

#7313785
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5813) - you deserved it (44526)

On 01/13/2010 at 1:31am - misc - by Creepster (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I realized that instead of actually trying to get a job, save money, lose weight, and get thin so I could maybe attempt to date again; I'd rather spend my money on a Fleshlight. FML

#1321
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8807) - you deserved it (36807)

On 01/16/2009 at 3:34am - intimacy - by horny bastard - United States (Minnesota)



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