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monkeyforehead

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monkeyforehead

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Monday 2 January 1995 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1236
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About monkeyforehead : My testicles are sour.

monkeyforehead's page activity

Visits<b>Lesser</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 9:16pm<b>Ghost_Kaulitz</b> - the 01/02/2015 at 8:00pm<b>Nolimit2217</b> - the 12/29/2014 at 6:46pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 12/24/2014 at 6:26pm<b>flupsht</b> - the 12/24/2014 at 12:58pm<b>ZY1431</b> - the 12/24/2014 at 8:41am<b>insanecutie</b> - the 12/23/2014 at 3:16pm<b>vesquivel62</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 11:54pm<b>jordanharris23</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 10:16am<b>Sebastian2022</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 3:39am<b>NotANative</b> - the 12/02/2014 at 11:34pm<b>RaspberryFlower</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 8:15pm<b>saba_ajira</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 7:12am<b>diesel_power</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 9:25pm<b>Tobiaspe</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 4:00am<b>Dodopy</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 12:55am<b>PerSueTwo513</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 12:09pm<b>RainbowxxVeinsx</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 5:58am

Liked!<b>Lesser</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 3:16am

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You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

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monkeyforehead's favorite FMLs

Today, my six year old nephew told me to peel off my skin because, "They say you look prettier on the inside." FML

#17652059
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29830) - you deserved it (3155)

On 09/03/2011 at 10:36am - kids - by abby181 - United States (Colorado)

Today, I work by myself at a retail store and I was bored so I called my boyfriend. I woke him up and he was feeling frisky, and as things were getting heated I started to moan and say dirty things. Until the entire rack of clothes fell over and revealed my boss hiding. He had a boner. FML

#17557500
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18891) - you deserved it (51213)

On 08/23/2011 at 12:18pm - intimacy - by MissCan'tKeepAJob - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend decided it'd be funny to create a "place" on Facebook for my vagina. Now he "checks-in" every time we have sex. FML

#17338945
333 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51344) - you deserved it (9860)

On 08/02/2011 at 12:52am - intimacy - by INside (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went out for coffee with my sister and my crush. I spent the majority of the date flirting with my crush, and when he dropped us off at home, I told him I had fun on our date. He looked at me surprised and said he'd thought I'd tagged along on his date with my sister. FML

#17241320
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39703) - you deserved it (8428)

On 07/24/2011 at 1:02pm - love - by Lonely (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my six year old son came up to me with his arms spread and said, "I feel like a hug." I got really excited and hopeful because he is very anti-social and hates physical contact. As soon as I stood up to hug him he said "Feeling's gone" and walked away. FML

#17134448
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39513) - you deserved it (4256)

On 07/16/2011 at 9:28am - kids - by Rejected (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my girlfriend, who is very self conscious about her body, finally decided to have sex with me. She told me to wait a few minutes, so I did. I stripped and turned around to find her in a one-piece swimsuit, with a hole cut out of the crotch. FML

#17088739
434 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73937) - you deserved it (7696)

On 07/13/2011 at 1:02am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend smelt my penis after I got back from the gym. She was making sure it didn't smell like latex. I can't even go to the gym without her thinking I'm cheating on her. FML

#16700863
355 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43311) - you deserved it (9378)

On 06/16/2011 at 8:33pm - intimacy - by evomadrid24 - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend sent me a video of him having sex with someone from one of his last relationships because he thought it would turn me on. FML

Today, I was at the park with my daughter. She walked up to a boy at the swings, held her hand out, and said, "Hi I'm Vanessa, and someday you'll be working for me." FML

#16591956
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32519) - you deserved it (12389)

On 06/10/2011 at 5:57am - kids - by Rachel (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I woke up to a mosquito feeding on my morning wood; probably the only thing that will ever suck my penis. FML

#16277810
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60827) - you deserved it (10456)

On 05/21/2011 at 5:07am - intimacy - by no one - United States (Alaska)

Today, my wife created a "Points Reward" system for the privilege of sex. 10 points for doing the dishes, 20 for the laundry, etc. How many points do I need before I can have sex with her? 2300. FML

#15430260
699 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72827) - you deserved it (15819)

On 03/22/2011 at 10:59am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I took a picture of myself and put it on Facebook. After I did so, I realized that in the background, you can see my crush's Facebook page up on my laptop. He tagged himself. FML

#15105515
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16341) - you deserved it (46428)

On 02/24/2011 at 7:37pm - misc - by verasam01 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I looked in my mouse's cage and noticed a tiny weed growing. I've been trying to grow a garden for years to no avail. Even my mouse is a better gardener than I am. FML

#15104344
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22616) - you deserved it (9942)

On 02/24/2011 at 6:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was getting it on with my boyfriend. I started to come, screaming, "Ah... ah... ah... AHH!" To which he added, "Staying alive! Staying alive!" FML

#14608705
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30868) - you deserved it (19964) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 1:24am - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. He's been calling his penis "fun-sized" for a while now, but I didn't know he meant it really was the size of a fun-size candy bar. I'm pretty sure I'm still technically a virgin. FML

#14475422
308 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49847) - you deserved it (8523)

On 01/05/2011 at 3:49pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)



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