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monkeyforehead

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monkeyforehead

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Monday 2 January 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 612
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About monkeyforehead : My testicles are sour.

monkeyforehead's page activity

Visits<b>PerSueTwo513</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 12:09pm<b>RainbowxxVeinsx</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 5:58am<b>seeoseek</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 10:04am<b>Eater209</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 4:07am<b>loooloool</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 1:32pm<b>Just1Ash</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 11:19am<b>SteakfryOne</b> - the 06/07/2014 at 11:11pm<b>julako</b> - the 05/07/2014 at 6:18pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 05/07/2014 at 5:53pm<b>Sjus</b> - the 02/25/2014 at 9:09pm<b>Trollx</b> - the 01/23/2014 at 4:29pm<b>Dodopy</b> - the 01/22/2014 at 11:21pm<b>pbonham</b> - the 01/17/2014 at 11:00pm<b>hellryu</b> - the 01/14/2014 at 1:38am<b>haileyshelton</b> - the 11/03/2013 at 10:29pm<b>RodzillaX</b> - the 11/03/2013 at 6:16pm<b>error404n0tf0und</b> - the 11/02/2013 at 10:04am<b>Edogg215</b> - the 11/02/2013 at 12:34am

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You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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monkeyforehead's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend sent me a video of him having sex with someone from one of his last relationships because he thought it would turn me on. FML

Today, I was at the park with my daughter. She walked up to a boy at the swings, held her hand out, and said, "Hi I'm Vanessa, and someday you'll be working for me." FML

#16591956
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31190) - you deserved it (12075)

On 06/10/2011 at 5:57am - kids - by Rachel (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I woke up to a mosquito feeding on my morning wood; probably the only thing that will ever suck my penis. FML

#16277810
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59077) - you deserved it (10069)

On 05/21/2011 at 5:07am - intimacy - by no one - United States (Alaska)

Today, my wife created a "Points Reward" system for the privilege of sex. 10 points for doing the dishes, 20 for the laundry, etc. How many points do I need before I can have sex with her? 2300. FML

#15430260
699 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70401) - you deserved it (15293)

On 03/22/2011 at 10:59am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I took a picture of myself and put it on Facebook. After I did so, I realized that in the background, you can see my crush's Facebook page up on my laptop. He tagged himself. FML

#15105515
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16015) - you deserved it (45821)

On 02/24/2011 at 7:37pm - misc - by verasam01 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I looked in my mouse's cage and noticed a tiny weed growing. I've been trying to grow a garden for years to no avail. Even my mouse is a better gardener than I am. FML

#15104344
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22414) - you deserved it (9921)

On 02/24/2011 at 6:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was getting it on with my boyfriend. I started to come, screaming, "Ah... ah... ah... AHH!" To which he added, "Staying alive! Staying alive!" FML

#14608705
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30583) - you deserved it (19906) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 1:24am - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. He's been calling his penis "fun-sized" for a while now, but I didn't know he meant it really was the size of a fun-size candy bar. I'm pretty sure I'm still technically a virgin. FML

#14475422
307 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48645) - you deserved it (8386)

On 01/05/2011 at 3:49pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. He's been calling his penis "fun-sized" for a while now, but I didn't know he meant it really was the size of a fun-size candy bar. I'm pretty sure I'm still technically a virgin. FML

#14475422
307 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48645) - you deserved it (8386)

On 01/05/2011 at 3:49pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I saw a girl on the subway that I knew so I started waving frantically. She gave me a really weird expression and moved quickly away from me. Then I realised that I only knew her because I had stalked her Facebook once. FML

#14381626
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7985) - you deserved it (47530)

On 12/29/2010 at 11:30am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, at work, my boss made me spend a hour trying to catch a baby raccoon in the parking lot. I'm a bank teller. FML

#13525218
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24979) - you deserved it (2990)

On 10/20/2010 at 2:08pm - work - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I proudly gave my grandma a picture I had drawn for her. She didn't seem thrilled with it, and afterwards the rest of my family seemed upset. Nobody could fathom why I drew grandma a picture of a graveyard for her 85th birthday. It was suppose to be a bridge. FML

#13479988
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24292) - you deserved it (6120)

On 10/17/2010 at 12:28am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, after I got off work, as I walked into the house, I noticed something running across the floor towards me and out of complete terror I kicked it halfway across my living room, not knowing what it was. Turns out it was my roommate's new puppy. FML

#13167367
315 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12106) - you deserved it (44501)

On 09/23/2010 at 7:01am - misc - by nackpattywhackgiveadogabone (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my dad found my "list". 32 guys, 4 girls. Colour coded as to who I would sleep with again and who I wouldn't, who were virgins, etc. He complimented me on my "organizational skills." FML

#11944390
336 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14569) - you deserved it (54539)

On 07/17/2010 at 3:34pm - intimacy - by reckless (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my dog is mad at me due to the fact that earlier in the day I ate 2 peanut butter cookies. Apparently, they were his dog treats. I had no idea. FML

#11624830
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9636) - you deserved it (31599)

On 07/03/2010 at 12:04am - animals - by peanuts (man) - United States (California)



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