About monkeyCanDoMYJob : I look nothing like my picture.
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monkeyCanDoMYJob's favorite FMLs
by Bill Harrison / 07/19/2011 at 11:19am / United States / Work
Today, while I was showering, my brother thought it would be funny to burst through the door pretending he was a burglar. Panicked, I went to grab the soap bar as a weapon, slipped, fell and hit my head on the faucet. FML
by MAWZ / 07/19/2011 at 2:33am / United States (Colorado) / Health
by _TaToRtOt_ / 07/18/2011 at 9:08am / United States (Virginia) / Money
by Anonymous / 07/18/2011 at 12:26am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
Today, my six year old son came up to me with his arms spread and said, "I feel like a hug." I got really excited and hopeful because he is very anti-social and hates physical contact. As soon as I stood up to hug him he said "Feeling's gone" and walked away. FML
by Rejected / 07/16/2011 at 9:28am / Australia (New South Wales) / Kids
by Anonymous / 07/16/2011 at 1:38am / Canada / Love
Today, I caught a cab to take me to a hospital appointment. The driver turned around and told me I was in the Cash Cab. I got really excited and screamed. That is, until she laughed and said, "Just kidding. I always wanted to do that to someone." FML
by Anonymous / 07/15/2011 at 10:06pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had to do a "damage report" on myself after going to the midnight premiere of Harry Potter. As I was waiting for the previews, a 20 year old man dressed as a house elf tackled and wrestled me for my seat. FML
by beachbumb8538 / 07/15/2011 at 1:01pm / United States / Geek
by longtriphome / 07/14/2011 at 10:22pm / United States / Love
by anon / 07/14/2011 at 9:51pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids
by Ignored / 07/13/2011 at 2:47am / United States (Texas) / Geek
Today, I was invited over to a dinner with the CEOs of my company, along with my two children. My 3 year-old asked loudly why we have two "nose holes", to which my 4 year-old son replied "So you can pick your nose and still breathe!" He then demonstrated. FML
by ohno / 07/13/2011 at 12:43am / United States (Colorado) / Kids
Today, I was walking down the street to go to the movies, when I got punched in the back of the head. When I turned around, a stranger said, "HAHA! It's punch a random person day!" When I asked him why he chose me, he replied "You're ugly." FML
by ManInPain / 07/12/2011 at 12:46pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by CatOwner / 07/11/2011 at 10:15pm / United States (Virginia) / Animals
by illenram06 / 07/11/2011 at 11:37am / Philippines (Roxas) / Love
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…